The Great “If”s of History

If IMAO had been truly wiped off the face of the internet this past week, I’d never know:

If DamnCat was a damn cat

If Walrus was a walrus

If Editor was an editor

If Bill is due

If Gumbeaux was ready to rumbeaux

If Dohtimes would find the time to go “Doh!” somewhere else

If Bob B was truly a bot, and if he could also guide me to salvation (thanks)

If Bob in Feenicks could just guide me to Feenicks

If tankdemon was — you know — a tank demon; and if he ever found his shillelagh

If Gene would ever get back together with his group, Gene & the Doomsday Glaciers, and that guy in the back of the bar. What was his name? One-Eyed Pete?

If Jimmy was here to stay this time

If Scotty T can give us more power from the warp drive

If Vaktatunen (or is it Vakatunen?) would vacate

If GrandLarsenE would admit to being a gator

If Windbag is really an accurate screen name

If the Magnificent Purple Walnut would change his colors

If zzyzx would remember any lines from “Blazing Saddles,” by any chance

If CaleyGraph liked Venn Diagrams

If SomeDudeInTX would get ever get over the shakes

If rametindallas would do the same thing (it must be a Texas thing)

If Andy would still be Andy

If Biscuit would fluff up

If Bubba is from the South

If Conservatarian would admit he’s a liberal

If Finbear and Fangbeer are the same person (spoiler: they aren’t)

If Hadsil ever met Gretl

If ddalry would stop being so shy

If Some Internet Guy would turn out to be Some Other Internet Guy

And if Les would take over, already! He was here way before I was!

If I missed you, I apologize — but I would miss you.

Straight Line of the Day: More Science! Excellent Reasons To Create Organisms in a Biological “Third State”: One That Doesn’t Neatly Fit Into the Categories of Life and Death…

Organisms Created in Laboratory Are “Third State” Beyond Life and Death, Scientists Say
Yahoo | 9/16/2024

Over the past several years, scientists have repeatedly demonstrated that the cells of various organisms can be repurposed into biological robots, representing stunning advancements in the field of synthetic biology.

Some types, like anthrobots, used human cells that could self-assemble into small, hairy structures capable of moving by themselves. Others, like xenobots, are a bit freakier: scientists created these from the cells of already dead frogs, which seemingly cheated death by remaining capable of performing simple tasks and even self-replication.

Now, in a new review published in the journal Physiology, researchers are contemplating the implications of taking cells — from organisms dead or alive — and essentially turning them into machines with totally new functions. Namely, that this points to a biological “third state” — one that doesn’t neatly fit into the categories of life and death.

Bond Girlathon : Results 9/11/2024 : New matches for 9/18/2024

Hi guys. Sorry for the interruption with the site being down. Everything should be back to normal. We hope. Back to the Bond Girlathon.

Results

9/11/2024

Francoise ThierryNo PreferenceCarmen du Sautoy
40118

Barbara BachNo PreferenceSue Vanner
74017

9/18/2024

Caroline Munro (Naomi) VS Olga Bisera (Felicca)

Naomi

Actress:Caroline Munro
Nationality:English
Bond Movie:The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

Synopsis:

Naomi was an aid for Karl Stromberg, and escorted Bond and Anya Amasova to Stromberg’s oceanic citadel, the Atlantis. After Bond’s meeting ended, Stromberg instructed henchman Jaws to kill the two spies. In an intense chase sequence with Bond and Amasova driving a Lotus Esprit, Jaws shot at them from a car, another henchmen tried to kill them with a sidecar-missile, and Naomi tried to shoot them down from a helicopter. She met her end as Bond blew up her helicopter with a surface-to-air missile.

Caroline Munro

VS

Felicca

Actress:Olga Bisera
Nationality:Bosnian
Bond Movie:The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

Synopsis:

Felicca worked for Aziz Fekkesh, a black market dealer who was selling the microfilms of a submarine tracking system. Fekkesh instructed Felicca to entertain Bond, should he call round, so that henchman Sandor could kill him. In their brief time together, Felicca took a liking to Bond, and when she saw Sandor about to shoot him, she spun round and took the bullet herself.

Olga Bisera

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
45 votes · 45 answers

Lois Chiles (Holly Goodhead) vs Corinne Clery (Corinne Dufour)

Holly Goodhead

Actress:Lois Chiles
Nationality:American
Bond Movie:Moonraker (1979)

Synopsis:

Holly Goodhead was a CIA agent working undercover as an astronaut for the Hugo Drax organization. After spending the night together with Bond, the two met up at the top of Sugarloaf mountain in Rio. On the cable car ride down, Jaws tried to kill them, and Holly’s cover was blown. Bond managed to escape, and rescued Holly after the pair were almost killed in a rocket blast chamber. They went to space together and shot down Drax’s globes that contained fatal gases meant to kill the human race on Earth.

Lois Chiles

VS

Corinne Dufour

Actress:Corinne Cléry
Nationality:French
Bond Movie:Moonraker (1979)

Synopsis:

Corinne Dufour was Hugo Drax’s personal assistant and pilot. She flew Bond over Drax’s estate, giving him a guided tour of the Moonraker complex and flying him to meet Drax. After spending the night with Bond, Corinne revealed the location of Drax’s safe, where Bond photographed secret documents. Drax discovered this, and Corinne was killed by Drax’s vicious pack of dogs.

Corinne Clery

This poll is no longer accepting votes

Who do you prefer?
42 votes · 42 answers

What Is Wrong With Me?

I read a story about “skin boats,” and immediately try to think of the most sophomoric response.

Archaeologists Suggest Neolithic Scandinavians May Have Used Skin Boats To Hunt, Travel and Trade
Phys.org | September 10, 2024 | Sandee Oster

Recent research by Dr. Mikael Fauvelle and his colleagues, published in the Journal of Maritime Archaeology, proposes that the neolithic Pitted Ware Culture (PWC) may have used skin boats to conduct trade, travel, fishing, and hunting activities.

Also, “Pitted Ware Culture” sounds like a riot in a Pottery Barn.

Straight Line of the Day: Among the Many Reasons That Scientists Should Be Creating Awkwardly-Shuffling Five-Legged Robots Controlled by King Oyster Mushrooms That Are Yet To Venture Beyond the Lab: …

… and cyborg cockroaches …

Robot controlled by a king oyster mushroom blends living organisms and machines
Accuweather| September 04, 2024 | Katie Hunt

By growing the mushroom’s mycelium into the robot’s hardware, researchers have engineered two types of robots that sense and respond to the environment by harnessing electrical signals made by the fungus.

===================================================================

A wheeled bot rolls across the floor. A soft-bodied robotic star bends its five legs, moving with an awkward shuffle.

Powered by conventional electricity via plug or battery, these simple robotic creations would be unremarkable, but what sets these two robots apart is that they are controlled by a living entity: a king oyster mushroom.

By growing the mushroom’s mycelium, or rootlike threads, into the robot’s hardware, a team led by Cornell University researchers has engineered two types of robots that sense and respond to the environment by harnessing electrical signals made by the fungus and its sensitivity to light.

The robots are the latest accomplishment of scientists in a field known as biohybrid robotics who seek to combine biological, living materials such as plant and animal cells or insects with synthetic components to make partly living and partly engineered entities.

Biohybrid robots have yet to venture beyond the lab, but researchers hope one day robot jellyfish may explore oceans, sperm-powered bots may be able to deliver fertility treatments and cyborg cockroaches could search for survivors in the wake of an earthquake.

“Mechanisms, including computing, understanding and action as a response, are done in the biological world and in the artificial world that humans have created, and biology most of the time is better at it than our artificial systems are,” said Robert Shepherd, a senior author of a study detailing the robots published August 28 in the journal Science Robotics.

“Biohybridization is an attempt to find components in the biological world that we can harness, understand, and control to help our artificial systems work better,” added Shepherd, a professor of mechanical and aerospace engineering at Cornell University who leads the institution’s Organic Robotics Lab.

Part fungus, part machine

The team began by growing king oyster mushrooms (Pleurotus eryngii) in the lab from a simple kit ordered online. The researchers chose this species of mushroom because it grows easily and quickly.

They cultivated the mushroom’s threadlike structures or mycelium, which can form networks that, according to the study, can sense, communicate and transport nutrients — functioning a little like neurons in a brain. (Alas, it’s not strictly accurate to call the creations shroom bots. The mushroom is the fruit of the fungi — the robots are powered by the rootlike mycelium.)

Mycelium produces small electrical signals and can be connected to electrodes.

Andrew Adamatzky, a professor of unconventional computing at the University of the West of England in Bristol who builds fungal computers, said it isn’t clear how fungi produce electrical signals.

No one knows for sure,” said Adamatzky, who wasn’t involved in the research but reviewed it before publication.

They’re All Working as Press Secretaries

The World is Running Out of Children as Global Birth Rates Collapse
Life News | September 4, 2024 | Steven Mosher

The result of all of these empty wombs is that humanity just passed a major milestone, although not one we should celebrate.

For the first time in the 60,000 or so years that human beings first arrived on the planet, we are not having enough babies to replace ourselves.

“Empty wombs”? You sure you want to go there, Dr. Strangelove?