It’s still unclear who ordered the dumpster full of gravel.
Archive of entries posted on April 2026
Bond Girlathon Friday : Results from3/27/2026 : New Matches for 4/3/2026
I’m ready for my Intern testing Mr. Walrus.
Results from 3/27/2026
| (4) Famke Janssen | No Preference | (6) Molly Peters |
|---|---|---|
| 122 | 1 | 67 |
| Serena Gordon | No Preference | Marye Guy Mitsuoko |
|---|---|---|
| 99 | 3 | 57 |
Matches for 4/3/2026
Match 1
Mie Hama (Kissy Suzuki) vs Michelle Yeoh (Wai Lin)
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Mie Hama | 0 – 5 – 0 | 190 – 6 – 865 |
Actress: Mie Hama Nationality: Japanese Bond Movie: You Only Live Twice (1967) Synopsis:
Kissy Suzuki was a ninja working for the head of the Japanese secret service, Tiger Tanaka. She had a mock wedding with James Bond, who underwent surgery to disguise himself as a Japanese fisherman, so that the pair could explore a quiet village without being noticed.
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Michelle Yeoh | 2 – 3 – 0 | 353 – 6 – 646 |
Actress: Michelle Yeoh Nationality: Malaysian Bond Movie: Tomorrow Never Dies (1997) Synopsis:
Wai Lin was a Red Chinese agent, and had the same mission as Bond to investigate media magnate Elliot Carver. Carver had been suspected of causing tragic events so that he could get exclusive coverage on them and increase his ratings. Wai Lin was intelligent and worked more cleverly than Bond on several occasions. Eventually they teamed up together and stormed Carver’s stealth ship.
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Match 2
Akiko Wakabayashi (Aki) vs (1) Teri Hatcher (Paris Carver)
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Akiko Wakabayashi | 1 – 4 – 0 | 324 – 8 – 612 |
Actress: Akiko Wakabayashi Nationality: Japanese Bond Movie: You Only Live Twice (1967) Synopsis:
Aki was a senior agent of the Japanese secret service, working directly under its leader Tiger Tanaka. She was confident and independent, and tricked Bond into walking over a trap door, which catapulted him down a steel slide leading to Tanaka’s office. She drove a Toyota 2000GT and saved Bond’s life on many occasions. Mid way though the film, an assassin tried to poison Bond, but Aki was poisoned by mistake.
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| (1) Teri Hatcher | 5 – 0 – 0 | 1052 – 1 – 194 |
Actress: Teri Hatcher Nationality: American Bond Movie: Tomorrow Never Dies (1997) Synopsis:
Paris Carver was an ex-lover of Bond’s, and wife of media mogul Elliot Carver. When Elliot was suspected as a terrorist, M sent Bond to seduce Paris and use his prior relationship to get information. Paris wasn’t happy to see Bond, and refused to help him. However, when Elliot spotted the two talking, and tried to kill Paris, she changed her mind and told Bond everything. She died that evening as Elliot sent henchman Dr. Kaufman to kill her.
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Pottery Corner
Straight Line of the Day: Hmm … What Would Be on a San Francisco Algebra Test?
San Francisco restores 8th-grade algebra after equity experiment backfires
Fox News | 3/25/26 | CJ WomackThe original policy, implemented roughly 12 years ago, was designed to give students more time to master foundational math before advancing. However, the results fell short of expectations, the Times reported.
“For years, San Francisco tried to achieve equity not by raising the floor, but by lowering the ceiling,” Stanford economist Thomas S. Dee told the Times. “It’s a problem we see nationally.”
If x = y, then yay! Let’s all go play women’s sports!
Cartoons and Memes
Straight Line of the Day: Pitch a New TV Special: “_________ _________________, Charlie Brown!”
Happy April Fool’s Day! May Pregnant Angels Help You With Your Chess Game
Bond Girlathon Wednesday : Results from 3/25/2026 : New Matches for 4/1/2026
April’s Fools!
Results from 3/25/2026
| (16) Sue Vanner | No Preference | Kristina Wayborn |
|---|---|---|
| 116 | 2 | 99 |
| (6) Caroline Munro | No Preference | (14) Tima Hudson |
|---|---|---|
| 145 | 2 | 72 |
New Matches for 4/1/2026
Match 1
Olga Bisera (Felicca) vs (9) Tanya Roberts (Stacey Sutton)
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Olga Biserra | 1 – 6 – 0 | 339 – 16 – 1021 |
Actress: Olga Bisera Nationality: Bosnian Bond Movie: The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) Synopsis:
Felicca worked for Aziz Fekkesh, a black market dealer who was selling the microfilms of a submarine tracking system. Fekkesh instructed Felicca to entertain Bond, should he call round, so that henchman Sandor could kill him. In their brief time together, Felicca took a liking to Bond, and when she saw Sandor about to shoot him, she spun round and took the bullet herself.
VS
| Contestants | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| (9) Tanya Roberts | 6 – 1 – 0 | 1071 – 3 – 595 |
Actress: Tanya Roberts Nationality: American Bond Movie: A View To a Kill (1985) Synopsis:
Stacey Sutton inherited the Sutton Oil company, which megalomaniac Max Zorin tried to take over. Zorin offered Sutton $5 million for her shares in the company, which she refused. Bond learnt of the cheque and confronted her at her home. Stacey was initially aggressive, pointing a shotgun at Bond. However, when some of Zorin’s henchmen arrived to persuade Stacey to sell, Bond sorted them out and gained Stacey’s trust. The pair escaped an attempt on their lives, and managed to kill Zorin.
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Match 2
Lois Chiles (Holly Goodhead) vs Grace Jones (May Day)
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Lois Chiles | 4 – 3 – 0 | 710 – 14 – 604 |
Actress: Lois Chiles Nationality: American Bond Movie: Moonraker (1979) Synopsis:
Holly Goodhead was a CIA agent working undercover as an astronaut for the Hugo Drax organization. After spending the night together with Bond, the two met up at the top of Sugarloaf mountain in Rio. On the cable car ride down, Jaws tried to kill them, and Holly’s cover was blown. Bond managed to escape, and rescued Holly after the pair were almost killed in a rocket blast chamber. They went to space together and shot down Drax’s globes that contained fatal gases meant to kill the human race on Earth.
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Grace Jones | 0 – 7 – 0 | 101 – 25 – 1466 |
Actress: Grace Jones Nationality: Jamaican Bond Movie: A View To a Kill (1985) Synopsis:
May Day was the girlfriend of Max Zorin, and also worked for him as an assassin.May Day killed Bond’s chauffeur, and tried to kill Bond on several occasions. Much later in the film, May Day realized that she had been double crossed by Zorin, who had left her to die in an explosion that would cause a flood in silicon valley. May Day joined teams with Bond to remove the bomb, and in doing so, met her death.
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