DURHAM, N.C. (AP) – Presidential hopeful Barack Obama travelled to John Edwards’s Chapel Hill home last Sunday to discuss the possibility of Edwards endorsing Obama’s candidacy and to swap wives.
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“As the last serious Democratic candidate to drop out of the 2008 race, Edwards still has a lot of followers,” said Obama. “Getting his endorsement would lend even greater legitimacy to my historic run for the White House. Also, I enjoy nailing white women, and Elizabeth really makes me ‘go up in the polls’, if you know what I mean.”
Now that Edwards has dropped out, he’s relishing his new role as “kingmaker” in the Democratic primaries almost as much as he relishes the sexual libertinism of his open marriage. “With the Democrats down to two candidates, my endorsement – and my 61 delegates – could end up making the difference in who gets the nod at the convention. It’s a heavy responsibility and a difficult choice. Deciding to get busy with Michelle Obama was MUCH easier. Once I saw her do that butt-vibrating booty-shake thing of hers, I knew I had to get me some of that brown sugar.”
Although Edwards has not yet openly committed his endorsement to Obama, the nation’s first serious black presidential candidate was cautiously optimitic about his chances of getting both Edwards’s blessing and hot wife-swapping action. “Edwards and I share a lot of positions: ending the war, fighting poverty, and universal health care. Not to mention doggy style, and reverse cowgirl. I honestly don’t think Hillary can say the same thing, since she supported the war and is strictly missionary.”
America’s first serious woman presidential candidate dismissed the rumors circulating about the meaning of the Edwards-Obama meeting. “Just because they’ve talked doesn’t mean that Edwards will definitely be giving Obama his patronage or access to his wife’s intimate body parts,” said Hillary. “Everyone knows that the Clintons have a lot of pull in the Democratic party, and if Edwards cares about his political future, he’ll throw his weight and his wife my way.”
Mrs. Edwards doesn’t need to make politically inept statements. She has her husband to do it for her. Cuts out the middleman.
John Edwards fits in nicely with the Sex Change mantra I’ve been reiterating. Of course he wants to wife swap… His wife is too pretty (errg) to be mistaken for a man, and as we all know, John Edwards has a certain proclivity to the (ahem) horn o’ plenty. Michelle Obama will give him exactly what he needs… aren’t theirs bigger than most anyway?
I feel dirty…
Yeah, the meeting between Obama and Edwards must have just boiled Clinton’s onions.
Interesting how this is funny and probably wouldn’t raise too many eyebrows in that moraly void party but the fact that Mr. Romney’s grandfather or great grandfather had plural wives when it wasn’t illegal kept him from being even a candidate for the presidency. Gotta love the double standard.
Wow. That was a really naughty story. I think wife swapping is wrong.
I’d totally get with Chelsea Clinton.
Someday the Clintons will take over the world — I wanna be on their Christmas Card list.
I would also like to get with Chelsea Clinton – but only if she wears the red rubber nose and makes the bubbles come out of her ass.
I think you’ll be on her “What’s For Dinner” list.
Lest we think the nimrods/nimrodettes are only on the other side of the isle check out this little item.
Mrs. Huckster
Gee I wish there had been a candidate with a spouse who kept a low profile, since they (the spouse) is not running for office. Mrs. McCain has done a pretty good job of not getting in her spouses way, but then again Billy boy has torpedoed his wife’s campaign on more than one occasion. So as we see boys and girls. it isn’t the gender of the spouse, it’s the arrogance factor,
Best Newsish Fakery post ever! And for the record, I’d totally do Michelle Obama. She’d be proud of me for the first (and not the last) time.
Now I’m confused. Why did Fred Thompson endorse McCain, then? Jeri is a lot hotter than Mrs. McCain (Sorry, I don’t care enough to look up her first name, although, to be honest, it probably wouldn’t have taken as long as this aside, but it’s the principle of the thing). I mean yeah, she’s AARP hot, but I don’t see the incentive for Fred.
http://anndavis.blogspot.com/2008/01/exclusive-statement-from-obama-accuser.html
I think wife swapping is wrong.
I dunno, Nate. I don’t have a wife, but, if I did, I’d probably want to swap her. Maybe I could get a belt sander for her, or a good torque wrench.
Harvey, if this story were true, it would really dash our understanding of Edwards’ sexuality. I think he’d be more interested in Obama than a wife swap.
ON A TOTALLY UNRELATED TOPIC, I HAVE FELT SOMETHING MISSING IN MY LIFE THESE PAST FEW MONTHS.
THIS MORNING IT THE SHOWER IT HIT ME: WHAT HAPPENED TO FRIDAY CAT BLOGGING?????
Or Laurence Simon, for that matter.
I miss both :’ (
Wife swapping is an immoral act.
Somebody get some help, somebody fainted….oh wait, its just John.
So is lying, deception, cheating and stealing (even other peoples ideas) but that doesn’t seem to phase this Nimrod’s.
It aounds like whoever wrote this tripe needs psychiatric help. I know close friends of the Edwards family and believe me they are Christian people. I”ll bet you don’t know what a Christian is, do yo? MAY GOD BE MERCIFUL TO YPU.
Why yes Sally I do know what a Christian is. Mr. Edwards faith or lack thereof was not in question on this site, until you brought it up.
Since you brought it up you might explain the apparent hypocrisy between his “being for the little guy” and his inability to live in anything but a palatial estate, or the lies he has been caught making or his apparent vanity (see you-tube), his belief that it’s quite all right to kill unborn children and harvest their cells or his support of same sex marriage ( God destroyed Sodom and Gomorra for this king of behavior) Not to mention his support of the humanist, secularist agenda of the Democratic Party.
A Christian is someone who follows Christ. Not someone who goes to church to get elected. So don’t throw his “Christianity” up to me. That might work with the liberal rank and file but we here on this site are used to thinking for ourselves and objectively finding “teh funny”.
Yes, it’s tripe. And whether I need psychiatric help has always been up for debate.
I will say this – you’re reading WAY too much into it. I’m not trying to suggest anything about either candidate’s sex life. The humor here, such as it is, arises merely from the peculiar juxtaposition of serious political news and tawdry Enquirer yellow journalism.
Style stolen directly from The Onion.
And for the record, I don’t care about the state of Edwards’s Christianity. All I care about is that he’s a socialist, and for that I hate his stinking guts.