Archive of posts filed under the Straight Line of the Day category.

Straight Line of the Day: What Else Have They Computer-Chip-Programmed Cows To Do?

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Russian company claims it has put computer chips in cows’ brains to make them produce more milk
Not The Bee | June 19, 2026 | Harambe Harambe

Although much of the technology remains speculative, the Russian company Neiry claims to have directly implanted neural devices in the brains of dairy cows…

The company said in its announcement that the cows that received the initial neurostimulation devices ‘remained conscious, felt well, experienced no discomfort, and have already returned to their normal production cycles on the farm.’ It did not detail how the devices were implanted, what research went into designing them or what animal welfare precautions were taken.

More interesting still is just how such a device would affect cows in the first place.

Lawyer Talk

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Elsewhere, on another site, I read this. It was talking about that other site (which is a no-subscription-required site, like IMAO). Seemed to make sense.

A web site that depends on 100% voluntary donations [or no donations at all] has much more flexibility than a web site that requires a mandatory payment.

Such a site has very limited legal liability.

If a monthly subscription is required, the site is instantly vulnerable to:
copyright lawsuits [because they’re making money off others’ work]
libel lawsuits, and
hate speech lawsuits that result in injury or damage.

Lawyers. God love ’em.

Straight Line of the Day: Why Would a UFO Look Like a Potato?

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New Pentagon release details “potato” UAP over Colorado Springs
Fox21 | 6-12-26 | Ashley Eberhardt

The latest batch of Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena (UAP) reports from the Department of War includes an incident in 2022 in which five members of the U.S. Army reportedly saw an object shaped like a potato hovering over Cheyenne Mountain. …

“The object was ‘potato’ shaped with distinct edges and appeared to look painted in a creamy/whitish opalescent color. It was somewhat translucent with a slight shimmer”…

Straight Line of the Day: Causes of the Big Chimpanzee Rift…

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Largest Known Wild Chimpanzee Community Breaks Apart After Decades of Unity

SciTech Daily | June 2, 2026 |  University of Texas at Austin

Wild chimpanzees in Uganda split into two separate communities and later engaged in deadly attacks against each other.

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For the first 20 years of research, the chimpanzee community remained united. Individuals regularly moved among flexible subgroups, known as “clusters,” while maintaining social bonds across the larger group. This fission-fusion social structure is common in chimpanzees, with members temporarily separating and later rejoining.

That pattern began to change in 2015, when researchers noticed growing division between the Western and Central clusters, which increasingly avoided one another.

Straight Line of the Day: Do You Plan To Go to Hersheypark and Hide Under a Table, and Miss Out on the 55-Person Brawl at the SooperDooperLooper Coaster?

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Giant brawl forced Hersheypark to stop rollercoaster as parents hid under tables: police
PennLive | 9 June 2026 | Zahriah Balentine

Hersheypark visitors shielded their children and hid under tables during a wide-scale fight on opening day in April, police said in court documents released Tuesday.

The rollercoaster Skyrush also had to come to an emergency stop during the April 3 series of fights, Derry Township police wrote in an affidavit of probable cause charging Quaneek Williams, 18, with riot, a felony, and other charges including assault and failing to disperse.

Williams, of Lemoyne, was one of 55 people between 12 and 19 years old charged in connection with the brawl. …

Police said surveillance footage showed two groups of people arguing before a fight broke out near the SooperDooperLooper coaster about five minutes prior.

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Nah. I plan to go to go to DisneyWorld and watch Bearded Snow White during Pride Month.