… by altering the lyrics of a popular song.  

I know that’s a pretty broad category, but who doesn’t like categories with pretty broads?

Crossing a ‘Red’ Line? Chinese Comedy Star Investigated Over Altered Song Lyrics
Channel News Asia | 19 Aug 2026

Prominent Chinese comedian Guo Degang has come under investigation after improvising new lyrics to a well-known revolutionary song, with a complaint accusing him of violating “social order and good customs”. The incident spotlights the fine line performers in China must navigate between creative license and political sensitivities, amid Beijing’s continued emphasis on ideological discipline.

He should have formed a group: Kool and Degang.

Guo changed the lyrics of Playing My Beloved Pipa during a Peking opera adaptation of Ji Gong, a legendary Chinese Buddhist monk and folk hero, held in Wuhan on Jul 24, reported Shanghai-based news outlet The Paper. Guo starred as Ji Gong in the production. Playing My Beloved Pipa was featured in the 1956 film Railway Guerrilla – a well-known revolutionary classic depicting a group of railway workers and farmers who form a guerrilla force to fight invading imperial Japanese forces.

So, unless you are too busy playing your beloved pipa, have at it.

Chinese Peoples’ Army Censoring Squad:

🎵  We Didn’t Start To Fire . . .  🎵

Students given AI slop with misspelled state names, faulty table of elements, angering parents
NYPost | 8/21/26 | Marc Vartabedian

Kentucky middle school parents are furious over instructional packets teachers assigned their kids that were filled with AI slop like misspelled state names and a faulty table of elements, according to a report.

The packet, handed out on the first day of class at Farnsley Middle School in Louisville, featured a US geography map with jaw-dropping flubs like Kentucky being mislabeled “Venecky” and Louisiana as “Lookoong,” according to local news station WDRB.

“Mom, did you know that we live in Venecky?” Stacey Morris said her son joked to her on the drive home after his first day.

She didn’t know what her son was talking about until she opened the material and was appalled by the lesson, according to WDRB.

“Arizona is Arizone. Illinois starts with a V. I mean, it’s crazy,” Morris said, adding that Texas was spelled “Taxas” and New Mexico was “New Mizone,” while Oklahoma was morphed into “Olkchoma.”

Look; even I know that our first president was not George Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (barks) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeaker) Featherstone Smith (whistle) Northcott Edwards Harris (fires pistol, then ‘whoop’) Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat Gilbert ‘We’ll keep a welcome in the’ (three shots) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin (squeaker) Tiger-drawers Pratt Thompson ‘Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head‘ Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat ‘Don’t Sleep In The Subway‘ Barton Mainwashington Smith.

What’s Wrong in Canada?
Free Beacon | 8/18/26 | Jonathan Leaf

Nickname: “Maple”

Last year, roughly 150,000 Americans chose to leave the United States. … 120,640 Canadians left Canada. The numbers aren’t so different. But the United States has eight-and-a-half times as many people. So, if the United States had the same rate of emigration, we would be losing close to 1.3 million people each year. That’s more than live in Boston and Miami combined.

Here’s an even more shocking statistic. In 2016, Canada legalized assisted suicide. Now eight times as many Canadians die from euthanasia as in car accidents. Increasingly, Canadians are anxious to leave either for another country or the undiscovered country.

No offense meant to our Canadian commenter.  It’s a beautiful country; that’s why we’d want to move there.

Double-check with your doctor that you heard the prescription correctly.

The Absence of Young Male Novelists Signifies the Death of American Culture
Chronicles | August 14, 2026 | George P. Cross

Here’s an interesting question: how many white American men born after 1984 have had a literary piece published in The New Yorker? The answer is zero. How did we get here, and who let this happen?

Every literary generation used to produce its Roth, Updike, Bellow, Wolfe, McCarthy, or Franzen. Today’s literary establishment shows no interest in producing young men of comparable prominence—especially if they’re straight and white.

This is not a new or underdiagnosed problem; in fact, it appears to be a point of pride for the new generation of literary critics and publishers alike. Penguin Random House has no problem publishing it’s demographics yearly and celebrating the slow but consistent decline in white editorial staff.

Acclaimed novelist Joyce Carol Oates had no issue tweeting that “a friend who is a literary agent told me that he cannot even get editors to read first novels by young white male writers, no matter how good; they are just not interested.”

(Three out of four paragraphs use the word “interest.”)

New world speed record of 406 mph set with hydrogen-powered JCB supercar in Utah
NY Post | 08/11/2026 | Lydia Moynihan

A new land speed record was set today in Utah by British driver Andy Green, driving a specially designed JCB Hydromax car, which reached 406.320 miles per hour. …

The driver is a former Royal Air Force fighter pilot who is the only person to have broken the sound barrier on land, which he did when setting the overall land speed record, reaching 763 mph in a car powered by twin jet engines in 1997.

Gen Z women say they’ve had enough financially supporting — and parenting — their boyfriends
AP Moneywise via Yahoo | August 8, 2025 | Victoria Vesovski

Naomi is a 24 year old, lives on Manhattan’s Upper East Side and earns six figures working two retail jobs. Her boyfriend, meanwhile, spent much of his time at her apartment lying in bed and scrolling through Instagram Reels.

Naomi helped him fix his résumé, pushed him to apply for jobs and, while he figured out his next move, picked up the tab for nearly everything. But the money was only part of what bothered her. Naomi told The Cut that his lack of income seemed to double as an excuse to put little effort into the relationship, too. Romance, after all, does not require a six-figure salary.

“If you can’t afford something, write me a love letter,” she told The Cut. “He could have literally made me Kraft mac and cheese.”

Oh, if you’re too shy, I’ll begin:

Turn-ons: Some things.

Turn-offs: Other [usually opposite] things.

Turn-ons: Long walks on a beach I own.

Turn-offs: The walk back to the car, which always seems longer.

Turn-ons: Self-referential jokes.

Turn-offs: tipographical errors.

NYC’s nature lovers can now go camping in Central Park — here’s how and where to pitch your tent
NY Post | 8-3-26 | Aurielle Weiss

Sleep under the stars as camping in Central Park starts on August 14.

The NYC Parks Department has just rolled out a lottery for family camping all around New York City, where lucky winners may camp overnight with its Urban Park Rangers as their hosts and guides. From August 8 until September 18, folks can post up for some good ‘ol family-friendly camping programs.

Some parks will feature Ranger-led nighttime hikes through the woods, storytelling and s’mores. The parks department will provide the tents and campers will only need to bring sleeping bags and bedding.

“… need to bring sleeping bags and bedding” — also known as “body bags.”

Would “Royaller than thou” get me anything?