Indian group asks Hindu monkey god to lead Obama to election triumph.
And of course he’ll say yes.
I’m pretty sure Hanuman is really Satan. He’s the god of monkeys. Monkeys are evil. So Hanuman is the god of evil, i.e., Satan.
Anyway, anyone who supports monkeys obviously wants the destruction of all humanity, and electing Obama is probably a good way to start. I can just see him squealing, “Pretty button!” while mashing the nuclear launch button with his palm as his supporters watch and exclaim, “Obama smart! Me likee Obama!” The monkeys will be outside in a tree watching, both thrilled at the death of humanity while shaking their heads at Obama’s stupidity. They will then jump on D.C. tourists, eat their eyeballs, turn the eyeballs into poo, and then throw the poo at the now eyeless tourists.
It’s all destined to happen now that the monkey god is involved.
What does Hanuman look like anyway? I kinda assume he’s like the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons, except covered in monkeys instead of cats which he throws at passerbys while ranting gibberish. If I were president and had to visit India, I’d be like, “I’ll go there and eat some spicy food, but keep your monkey gods away from me or I will punch them.” And I don’t care if it’s a cultural faux pas to punch the monkey god; I will do it. Same as I will for any other Obama supporter.
(hat tip to reader James)
Hi to all from an (unnamed!) research ship on the Pacific Ocean. (seanmahair, ussjimmycarter, alanabq, echo5a, the multiple Jim’s and Bob’s, et al.)
This has nothing to do with monkeys, but every time I go to sea, the world seems to inch its way further towards insanity. You have no idea how things look when you’re cut off and then peer through an “internet window” for a few minutes every few days. Things look wild back there, guys! Especially, IMAO !! (Just kidding, but, you know, this places does look strange from where I sit!)
🙂 Cheers.
Happy Heller Day everybody!
Hey Jimmy!
Have fun with all the seamen.
HEY!!! I came here specifically to celebrate the Supreme Court’s decision on the 2nd Amendment… where is my article?!?!?! C’mon Frank… I’m practically drooling as I caress my Sig .357…
Whose worried about the monkeys? SCOTUS has just said I have a right to own the automatic weapons I need for mowing down the stupid feces throwers. I’ll see your eyeball poop, and raise you a .45 hollow point.
Q: Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
A: He was looking for Poo.
FrankJ:
As usual, your theology is confused. In almost all Christian theology, Satan is not a God. He is a fallen angel.
Shouldn’t a serious Christian like you know this?
Peace,
Monkey Faced Liberal
P.S. I live in Brooklyn. There are a lot of Obama supporters in my neighborhood. Let me know if you would like to come out here and start punching all of them. Perhaps I can pay part of your airfare?
P.P.S. Still feeling good about your “For the Record” prediction that if the Democrats nominate Obama, McCain would win in a landslide?
Frank J.
Satan was the father of Jesus Christ. Christianity is an inferior religion.
Lord Hanuman is the one true God of mankind. He was also our ancestor. Do not insult something you don’t know about.
Convert to Hinduism and your soul will be saved.
Outsourcer.
Writing as a lapsed Roman Catholic, I must concur with Monkey Faced Liberal in part and add additional comments in part. Hey, I just finished reading the Scalia decision on Heller….
Frank, Satan is but a fallen angel, and a great example of what hubris will do to an angel and his gang of angels, going up against God and the rest of the heavenly host. Satan, unlike God, has no power to create anything. His power is only to tempt humans (and, I suppose now that I think about it, all the other fallen angels) using lies into the sin of pride, away from their proper activity in life or eternal existence, whichever applies, that is : glorification and adoration of God the Father, Son and Holy Ghost/Spirit. Humans wil tend to start self-aggrandizing their own sorry selves themselves.
Satan is only the father of lies. Holy Mary Mother of God would never have let Satan impregnate her virgin self – despite the precedent of Eve falling for his smooth pickup lines. This is similar to the lying monkeys and their false god Hanuman, who flings feces in a godlike manner, I suppose, but who is still just the embodiment of all things monkey-like in an imaginary deity.
Jesus, being the Son o’ God the Father through the miraculous workings of the Holy Ghost/Spirit, who is the only part of the Trinity known to have personally impregnated a human, brought His perfection into humanity, in human form His own self, to demonstrate (first) that as God He can do any darn thing He can imagine, and He can imagine everything (see Universe, all around you, for proof), and (second) that Good will conquer Evil even unto death itself, for all time, especially if you are Jesus the Son o’ God doing the Good.
To paraphrase an old dude in Conan the Barbarian: Monkey Gods – when I was younger there was only a temple or two of them – now it’s Monkey Gyms everywhere….
the real question is when will the Obama campaign decry the support of the monkey god as racist?
FML – Frankj was careful to refer to Hanuman as only a small ‘g’ god. I double checked.
It won’t be long before Obomba announces that the Hanuman who flings poop and commands his minions to eat tourists’ eyeballs isn’t the Hanuman he’s known for 20 years. Then he’ll throw him under the bus.
‘Convert to Hinduism and your soul will be saved’?
Maybe in my next life!
God (big G) has taken his place in the divine council;
in the midst of the gods (small g) he holds judgement:
“How long will you judge unjustly and show partiality to the wicked?
Give justice to the weak and the fatherless;
maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute.
Rescue the weak and the needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked.”
They have neither knowledge nor understanding,
they walk about in darkness;
all the foundations of the earth are shaken.
I say, “You are gods, (small g)
sons of the Most High, (big M, big H) all of you;
nevertheless, you shall die like men,
and fall like any prince.”
Arise, O God, (big G) judge the earth;
for to thee belong all the nations!
Psalm 82
isn’t this the plot to the remake of Planet Of The Apes, with Mark Wahlberg???
4 of 7,
That is hilarious about the poop flinging 😀