We Lost the Crazy Stupid People

Posted on November 17, 2008 12:03 pm

I saw an article that made me feel a bit better about the election. It’s called “How the GOP lost my vote” by Paul Hsieh. In it he says how he’s voted Republican in previous elections and likes limited government, but didn’t this year because of Republican social issues. The thing is, social issues were less a focus this presidential election than all those previous, so that can’t be the real explanation. Much more likely is this guy just suddenly became retarded for no reasons and started hallucinating social conservatives chasing after him. That goes with the theory this is just a retarded election cycle from which no larger trend will emerge. And, anyway, what can the Republicans do to appeal to retarded, hallucinating voters?

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19 Responses to “We Lost the Crazy Stupid People”

  1. Herpules says:

    Nominate John McCain again?

  2. MarkoMancuso says:

    And, anyway, what can the Republicans do to appeal to retarded, hallucinating voters?

    I think the answer is rather obvious, isn’t it?

  3. ussjimmycarter says:

    They already tried acting like retarded homosexuals (democrats) so I say let’s try punching them from now on while we act like intelligent heterosexuals…

  4. Andrew says:

    Nominate RON PAUL?

    This is completely unrelated, but I would like to point out that Zo posted a new video yesterday.

  5. RockThrowingPeasant says:

    It reminds me of my Democrat friends who told me how great Ron Paul is and that they’d vote for him. One particular fella went from being a Ronulan to an Obama-mama without any sense of contradiction or shame. He was a doctor, as well.

    Funny how this guy’s mind works, though. The issues that most directly effect his life would be taxation, the role of government in daily life and our war against radical Islam. Yet, he pushes all that aside for issues that effect him only in third party ways (abortion, gay marriage, stem cells).

    “Hey, you want to stop Adam and Steve from getting married. I’ll vote for the guy who will allow it, even if it means higher taxes, weakened defense, and reduced national prosperity because issues that don’t effect me are important when I cast my vote.”

    Whuteva.

  6. Jimmy says:

    Yeah, but we’ve yet to appeal to the retarted metrosexual vote, ussjc. But that probably wouldn’t work since they’re too busy primping. Back to the question:

    “And, anyway, what can the Republicans do to appeal to retarded, hallucinating voters?”

    Lemme fix that for ya, Frank:

    “And, anyway, what can the retarded, hallucinating Republicans do to appeal to voters?”

  7. mike says:

    “what can the Republicans do to appeal to retarded, hallucinating voters?”

    become democrats?

  8. Joey says:

    The problem is that there are way too many people like him. They don’t really understand the issues. They just hear certain social catch phrases and are all, “Of course I want the wealth to be spread around. I’m not one of the rich,” without thinking what the consequences of those actions are.

  9. Joey says:

    Oh, so in response to your question, we should take all of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett’s money and spend it on free gay marriages for the poor. And beer. For me.

  10. The Animal says:

    “…what can the Republicans do to appeal to retarded, hallucinating voters?”

    Ah, you refer to the Billy Carter voting block.

  11. Corona says:

    Let’s fry them up and eat them. The hell with Republicans. I’m joining the Cannibal party.

  12. ILoveMyFreedoms says:

    Sell ‘em more cheap crack. Worked for Obamuhamad.

  13. mykidsmommy says:

    #6 “And, anyway, what can the retarded, hallucinating Republicans do to appeal to voters?”

    The answer is – stop being like Democrats.

    In California, the results of the election were as follows:

    Barack Obama (Dem) 7,440,637 votes 60.9%
    John McCain (Rep) 4,553,325 votes 37.3%

    Chuck Baldwin 2 votes (Mr. & Mrs. Mykidsmommy) 0%

    I want a full pendulum swing at the next election.

  14. GiantJellyFishKiller says:

    Social Issues. In my neck of the woods, the northeast, if you announce in public, say at a dinner party, that you are republican without first tilting your head down slightly, and in a very solemn manner uttering, “but, of course, I disagree with them on social issues” – you will not be invited to the next dinner party. That is unless it is one of those deals where a bunch of liberals invite a conservative to dinner and then kill and eat him (which is known to happen in parts of Mass and Rhode Island.

    Anyways, the money should be used to provide every home in America with its own gay person to dispense fashion and relationship advice, along with cutting and witty remarks and rejoinders. Thus turning everyones life into a hip and edgy NBC comedy or mid to late 90′s romcom.

  15. mockbadoc says:

    I nominate Paul Hseih for King of the Trolls.

    Who cares how the Republicrats can get back in there. I say we should infuse the Constitution Party with all our energies, money, sarcasm, and robots and make them a real contender in the next cycle.

  16. HCG says:

    Are you serious? Libtards always proclaim themselves to be life-long conservatives to prop up their pitiful arguments. And “just this once” they were forced to support the communist agenda as a protest.

    On the other hand, the Republicans have been quite a disappointment since Pres. GW Bush took the helm. Maybe he left them for spending like drunken sailors, failing to secure the border, and letting Ramos and Compean rot in prison, but he was to embarrassed to say so. Personally, I changed my registration from Republican to Libertarian at the end of Pres GHW Bush’s term because they lack moral courage.

    More Hellbender please.

  17. BryanW says:

    I hear that copper-jacketed lead and retarded hallucinations cannot coexist in the same brain. I think we should help expel those retarded hallucinations out of their brains at a couple thousand fps.

  18. Plentyobailouts says:

    “…what can the Republicans do to appeal to retarded, hallucinating voters?”

    Put jj mccain in blackface and have dance a jig?

  19. TomC says:

    YOu r all stinky poo faces. No one likes you losers. We want the moderate GOP party back that Reagan created.

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