Straight Line of the Day: Obama’s New Defense Secretary…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Obama’s new Defense Secretary…
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(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Send to Kindle (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
November 14th, 2012 at 12:04 pm
is the same as obamas old defense secretary
November 14th, 2012 at 12:07 pm
… will still be pretty offensive.
November 14th, 2012 at 12:09 pm
… will likely result in a new sex scandal.
November 14th, 2012 at 12:09 pm
Candy Crowley
November 14th, 2012 at 12:12 pm
… Will Be John Kerry. The Defense Chief in waiting has already issued a ban on cutting off ears and other “Genghis Khan-type” activities. He will put in place a prohibition on our troops terrorizing others, and instead of pinning medals on recipients’ chests, they will now instead be thrown over the White House fence.
Also, a Purple Heart medal will be issued with each bandaid.
November 14th, 2012 at 12:12 pm
…has been robbed 12 times.
November 14th, 2012 at 12:13 pm
Obama’s new Defense Secretary was going to be the chair that Clint Eastwood talked to at the Republican National Convention, but John Kerry insists on sitting in it.
-ls/cm
November 14th, 2012 at 12:14 pm
When asked if they would catch terrorists red handed responded with, “what color are their hands now?”
November 14th, 2012 at 12:16 pm
will be sorting out bayonets from binders for weeks to come.
November 14th, 2012 at 12:19 pm
Obama’s new Defense Secretary was waiting for his work visa to be approved, but Israel took him out in a drone strike today.
-ls/cm
November 14th, 2012 at 12:21 pm
will leave the state of M’achusetts short one.
November 14th, 2012 at 12:23 pm
…will wet himself with a water pistol.
November 14th, 2012 at 12:24 pm
@ls #10 Metsuyan
November 14th, 2012 at 12:26 pm
Big Bird.
November 14th, 2012 at 12:28 pm
is Hashim Nzinga, leader of the New Black Panther Party, following a recommendation from Eric Holder.
November 14th, 2012 at 12:35 pm
. . . has vowed to keep the world safe from rogue YouTube video producers, even if it means hiring thousands of new government workers to scour the Internet 24-7 for offensive content.
November 14th, 2012 at 12:50 pm
Will officially move to replace bayonets with baconettes as part of the military’s weaponry
November 14th, 2012 at 12:53 pm
…is indefensible.
November 14th, 2012 at 12:55 pm
@rodney dill
No chance. Bacon would be offensive to our enemies – can’t have that.
November 14th, 2012 at 1:03 pm
I agree with “tedwade73″
it has to be Candy Crowley.
she will make the world safe for FUGLY
November 14th, 2012 at 1:16 pm
…: sarah brady.
…will be black. because if he isn’t that’d be racist. it won’t be a woman, though… lets not get carried away.
November 14th, 2012 at 1:30 pm
… Cindy Sheehan
November 14th, 2012 at 1:33 pm
…will have a small, quaint Massachusetts town wondering where it’s idiot went.
November 14th, 2012 at 1:44 pm
…was the first person that could beat Obama at two out of three thumbwars.
November 14th, 2012 at 1:46 pm
…was obviously going to be Paula Broadwell as Obama wanted someone that could blow the hell out of Petraeus.
November 14th, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Obama’s new Defense Secretary’s.. mother was a homosexual’s hamster and his father smelled of elder-barry’s
November 14th, 2012 at 2:17 pm
… will be the last human actualy (pretending to be) engaged in defense of this nation as the military will have been eliminated by now.
… is just another Useless Intellectually Lazy Liberal raping the American taxpayer.
November 14th, 2012 at 2:18 pm
…has to be small enough to fit under the bus when the time comes.
November 14th, 2012 at 3:16 pm
…like all Obama secretaries, must take dictation, but in this case from foreign dictators.
…will have to know a drone attack from an Obama speech.
November 14th, 2012 at 3:41 pm
…is a complete insult to any American who has ever served, or is serving, or plans to serve in the armed forces of this country. However he is the perfect man to carry out the coming dismantling of the nations armed forces.
November 14th, 2012 at 4:47 pm
…will demand of troops not to open fire “until you see the whites of their skins”.
…must take up Obama’s line in the sand attitude towards Iran, but first must decide if army faces east or west of Phoenix Arizona.
…should know that as much as Obama likes dog for dinner, every now and then he orders up a sacrificial lamb.
November 14th, 2012 at 4:47 pm
can finally court-martial himself, as he deserves.
November 14th, 2012 at 6:46 pm
…will be the former Defensive coach for the Detroit Lions (unless he can talk a coach from a MORE losing team to take the job).
November 14th, 2012 at 7:56 pm
Wait! We have a Secretary of Defense? When did this happen?
November 14th, 2012 at 8:17 pm
…will propose settling international differences over pints of ice cream and reruns of the Gilmore Girls.
November 14th, 2012 at 10:10 pm
…was found strangled in an alley with a note pinned to his chest that said, “I, Donald Rumsfeld, strangled this man”.
DC police are baffled.
November 15th, 2012 at 7:48 am
…Don’t ask, don’t tell.
November 15th, 2012 at 7:49 am
…has not been announced, but I know who it is. Can you keep a secret?
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So can I.
November 15th, 2012 at 7:27 pm
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