Straight Line of the Day: Obama’s New Defense Secretary…

Posted on November 14, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Obama’s new Defense Secretary…

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39 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Obama’s New Defense Secretary…”

  1. RAML says:

    is the same as obamas old defense secretary

  2. rodney dill says:

    … will still be pretty offensive.

  3. rodney dill says:

    … will likely result in a new sex scandal.

  4. tedwade73 says:

    Candy Crowley

  5. Silverfiddle says:

    … Will Be John Kerry. The Defense Chief in waiting has already issued a ban on cutting off ears and other “Genghis Khan-type” activities. He will put in place a prohibition on our troops terrorizing others, and instead of pinning medals on recipients’ chests, they will now instead be thrown over the White House fence.

    Also, a Purple Heart medal will be issued with each bandaid.

  6. Genghis Khen says:

    …has been robbed 12 times.

  7. Laurence Simon says:

    Obama’s new Defense Secretary was going to be the chair that Clint Eastwood talked to at the Republican National Convention, but John Kerry insists on sitting in it.


  8. T-dog says:

    When asked if they would catch terrorists red handed responded with, “what color are their hands now?”

  9. rodney dill says:

    will be sorting out bayonets from binders for weeks to come.

  10. Laurence Simon says:

    Obama’s new Defense Secretary was waiting for his work visa to be approved, but Israel took him out in a drone strike today.


  11. rodney dill says:

    will leave the state of M’achusetts short one.

  12. rodney dill says:

    …will wet himself with a water pistol.

  13. rodney dill says:

    @ls #10 Metsuyan

  14. rodney dill says:

    Big Bird.

  15. Marc says:

    is Hashim Nzinga, leader of the New Black Panther Party, following a recommendation from Eric Holder.

  16. Crabby Old Bat says:

    . . . has vowed to keep the world safe from rogue YouTube video producers, even if it means hiring thousands of new government workers to scour the Internet 24-7 for offensive content.

  17. rodney dill says:

    Will officially move to replace bayonets with baconettes as part of the military’s weaponry

  18. DamnCat says:

    …is indefensible.

  19. DamnCat says:

    @rodney dill

    No chance. Bacon would be offensive to our enemies – can’t have that.

  20. notacommy says:

    I agree with “tedwade73”

    it has to be Candy Crowley.

    she will make the world safe for FUGLY

  21. archangel says:

    …: sarah brady.
    …will be black. because if he isn’t that’d be racist. it won’t be a woman, though… lets not get carried away.

  22. g says:

    … Cindy Sheehan

  23. HokieGomer says:

    …will have a small, quaint Massachusetts town wondering where it’s idiot went.

  24. rodney dill says:

    …was the first person that could beat Obama at two out of three thumbwars.

  25. rodney dill says:

    …was obviously going to be Paula Broadwell as Obama wanted someone that could blow the hell out of Petraeus.

  26. plentyobailouts says:

    Obama’s new Defense Secretary’s.. mother was a homosexual’s hamster and his father smelled of elder-barry’s

  27. TheHat says:

    … will be the last human actualy (pretending to be) engaged in defense of this nation as the military will have been eliminated by now.

    … is just another Useless Intellectually Lazy Liberal raping the American taxpayer.

  28. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …has to be small enough to fit under the bus when the time comes.

  29. Dohtimes says:

    …like all Obama secretaries, must take dictation, but in this case from foreign dictators.

    …will have to know a drone attack from an Obama speech.

  30. zzyzx says:

    …is a complete insult to any American who has ever served, or is serving, or plans to serve in the armed forces of this country. However he is the perfect man to carry out the coming dismantling of the nations armed forces.

  31. Dohtimes says:

    …will demand of troops not to open fire “until you see the whites of their skins”.

    …must take up Obama’s line in the sand attitude towards Iran, but first must decide if army faces east or west of Phoenix Arizona.

    …should know that as much as Obama likes dog for dinner, every now and then he orders up a sacrificial lamb.

  32. tanstaafl says:

    can finally court-martial himself, as he deserves.

  33. Steve H says:

    …will be the former Defensive coach for the Detroit Lions (unless he can talk a coach from a MORE losing team to take the job).

  34. Maxamillian says:

    Wait! We have a Secretary of Defense? When did this happen?

  35. Mike says:

    …will propose settling international differences over pints of ice cream and reruns of the Gilmore Girls.

  36. Harvey says:

    …was found strangled in an alley with a note pinned to his chest that said, “I, Donald Rumsfeld, strangled this man”.

    DC police are baffled.

  37. rodney dill says:

    …Don’t ask, don’t tell.

  38. rodney dill says:

    …has not been announced, but I know who it is. Can you keep a secret?
    So can I.

  39. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Obama’s new Defense Secretary…” […]

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