Top Ten Things Overheard from the Obamacare Website Design

Posted on October 21, 2013 11:00 am

10. “Are you sure we can’t just program it in Fortran?

9. “Don’t worry; I hired a professional Hollywood script supervisor to help fix the java script.”

8. “My computer crashed; buy me a new one.”

7. “We’re making great progress. …Oh, I thought you were talking about Candy Crush. No, there is no way this website will be ready on time.

6. “What browsers does it need to work in? Because so far it’s only working in Netscape.”

5. “What’s HTML? Is it anything like NSFW?”

4. “Aren’t eventually they’re going to catch on that we’re embezzling hundreds of millions to make a $2 million website? Oh yeah; government.”

3. “This website should be able to handle millions of people as long as they each wait their turn.”

2. “The first page loaded; I guess it’s ready.”

And the number one thing overheard from the Obamacare website design…

“The directive is we make this website as competent, functional, and popular as the Obama presidency.”

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31 Responses to “Top Ten Things Overheard from the Obamacare Website Design”

  1. Matt Musson says:

    “My nephew set me up on Facebook like a champ. Let’s get him to fix the ObamaCare website.”

  2. Matt Musson says:

    “I’ll need an unlimited supply of Xena tapes and Hotpockets.”

  3. Jimmy says:

    It was programmed by Canadians. Blame Canada!

    Wait! Thank you, Canada!

  4. HokieGomer says:

    “Mr. President…you DID build that…”

  5. rodney dill says:

    #10 – I could

  6. CCO says:

    @5 RD–watch your commas in your format statements!

  7. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    The site works as much as the average Obama voter, how ironic.

  8. Jimmy says:

    “This pig just threw another exception!”

    “You got those new unavailable screens ready?”

    “Oh, man, this thing is like Jurassic Park! You know, with that guy, Nedry!”

  9. walruskkkch says:

    #10 It’s why I gave up programming and became a History Major in college.

  10. rodney dill says:

    Holy sh…..

  11. CCO says:

    “Fifty contractors can’t go wrong–the more the merrier!”

  12. dontplayrockytop says:

    Aaaghhh! I just dropped the Hollerith card deck! It’ll take days to get them back in order!

  13. DamnCat says:

    “This is so not going on my resume.”

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  15. Basil says:

    “The directive is we make this website as competent, functional, and popular as the Obama presidency.”

    Mission Accomplished!

  16. Jimmy says:

    “They want us to make it look like the applicant’s fault so we can issue the fine right away.”

  17. Mr. Right says:

    “All fixed! Every link now goes right to the 404 page!”

  18. CCO says:

    @13 DC–one firm had erased the mention of working on healthcare.gov from their own website, but put it back soon afterward (at least according to buzzfeed).

  19. FormerHostage says:

    #10 I also…and in Pascal, and COBOL.

    I also heard that the motto of the company that created the site was:

    Never test for an error condition that you don’t know how to correct.

  20. FormerHostage says:

    11. Losing is fun!

  21. BackwardsBoy says:

    Your government atwerk.

  22. HCG says:

    #10 me too…. if you could transport me 30 years into the past. Now, I can map your printer, but that is about it. ;p

  23. Max says:

    If we add some blinking lights , preferably ones that blink in sequence, it should work. Or at least give the impression it’s a big powerful computer from the 60′s.

  24. Gunga says:

    The site would work fine if people would just remember to throw the magic orb…

  25. rodney dill says:

    @19, on testing for error conditions…

    The best photo on this I saw was the Dos Equis guy (world’s most interesting man) with the caption.

    “I don’t often test software, but when I do it’s in production”

  26. Basil says:

    rodney dill:
    Someone sent me that picture at work yesterday. Where do you work again?

  27. rodney dill says:

    @26 – I work in the Detroit area. That picture is all over the internet if you google the caption.

  28. Basil says:

    Yeah, I just kinda thought it funny that someone sent me that and then you mentioned it.

  29. Frank J. says:

    Basil, rodney dill,

    I have that poster hanging up at work too.

  30. rodney dill says:

    @28 – Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean everyone isn’t out to get you.

  31. GrandLarsenE says:

    Who’s preachin’? F— you! Send money!

    Sorry, the Reverend Richard Hell took over my laptop for a moment.

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