Top Ten Things Overheard from the Obamacare Website Design

10. “Are you sure we can’t just program it in Fortran?

9. “Don’t worry; I hired a professional Hollywood script supervisor to help fix the java script.”

8. “My computer crashed; buy me a new one.”

7. “We’re making great progress. …Oh, I thought you were talking about Candy Crush. No, there is no way this website will be ready on time.

6. “What browsers does it need to work in? Because so far it’s only working in Netscape.”

5. “What’s HTML? Is it anything like NSFW?”

4. “Aren’t eventually they’re going to catch on that we’re embezzling hundreds of millions to make a $2 million website? Oh yeah; government.”

3. “This website should be able to handle millions of people as long as they each wait their turn.”

2. “The first page loaded; I guess it’s ready.”

And the number one thing overheard from the Obamacare website design…

“The directive is we make this website as competent, functional, and popular as the Obama presidency.”

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31 Comments

  1. “This pig just threw another exception!”

    “You got those new unavailable screens ready?”

    “Oh, man, this thing is like Jurassic Park! You know, with that guy, Nedry!”

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  3. @13 DC–one firm had erased the mention of working on healthcare.gov from their own website, but put it back soon afterward (at least according to buzzfeed).

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  4. #10 I also…and in Pascal, and COBOL.

    I also heard that the motto of the company that created the site was:

    Never test for an error condition that you don’t know how to correct.

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  5. #10 me too…. if you could transport me 30 years into the past. Now, I can map your printer, but that is about it. ;p

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  6. If we add some blinking lights , preferably ones that blink in sequence, it should work. Or at least give the impression it’s a big powerful computer from the 60’s.

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  7. @19, on testing for error conditions…

    The best photo on this I saw was the Dos Equis guy (world’s most interesting man) with the caption.

    “I don’t often test software, but when I do it’s in production”

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  8. Who’s preachin’? F— you! Send money!

    Sorry, the Reverend Richard Hell took over my laptop for a moment.

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