Hola,
Yo Soy Dr. Duck. Your friendly therapist, answer person, and janitor.
What’s on your mind? Relationship issues? Politics? Dirty Pictures?
Don’t be afraid to share, except for the dirty pictures – this is a family site – meaning we only talk about bloody violence.
Dr. Duck is back and ready to answer the questions that keep you up late at night, or at least, get stuck in between the back molars – I HATE when that happens, don’t you?
So, go ahead and post those questions in comments. Remember, I’m not a real Doctor, but address me as Dr. Duck. As in all media, if you say something often enough, it must be true.
Disclaimer: Dr. Duck is only a silly IMAO bit. Anyone taking his advice seriously should either consider therapy, or voting Democrat. No animals were harmed in the making of this column. There is no proven scientific relationship between Ducky and the Avian flu which President Bush created to destroy duck kind. President Bush hates ducks. If you are any of your Instant Messaging force should be caught – we will disavow any knowledge of your actions – but will taunt you mercilessly forever, or until we get distracted by something else.
How will I be able to cope when Superego is finished? Will there be a sequel?
Dr. Duck,
My left thumb just got torn off in a paper shredder. Would you suggest I go see a doctor? Burning it with my lighter seems to have stopped the bleeding.
Whooooo are you?
Whoo-ooo, ooo-ooo?
I really wanna know…
Also, what kind of bloody violence is most appropriat to use on smelly hippies.
Fisticuffs is out, because one ends up with stinky fists.
I just posted and it didn’t take, so here goes again.
Welcome back Dr. Ducky!
If micheal Moore was popped what would come out?
Being a fine upstanding American, I have a “Support Our Troops” magnetic ribbon on the back of my Ford. Now, the rank-ing hippie at work has retaliated with a “Just Pretend It’s All OK” ribbon on his Volvo.
What should my next move be? I feel the need to escalate, but (for the children) I don’t want to do jail time.
Help me Dr. Duck – you’re my only hope.
Dear the Honorable Dr. Duck,
The Arizona Daily Wildcat’s letters section is so whiny, I can’t take it anymore. Is it morally correct to become a paid columnist for such a liberal claptrap, or should I resort to other options?
Garrett O’Hara
Why was Star Wars Ep III so bad?
Who’s wussier, Aquaman or Che Guevera?
Since we now know that Mark Cuban supports terrorism, will the left finally admit that the majority of rich, arrogant jerks aren’t conservative?
I hears “Hola” is a swear word in ancient Aramic. Is this true? If so, how true is it?
A UFO has
appeared
over me
and a voice
Sounding Like
Louis Farrakan
becones me
to
get in
should I?
will Dr. Duck check the bboard?
Yeah, what’s up with Aflac? Does that duck have a stunt double? Or should PETA be involved?
I seen feathers flyin’, and duck soup ain’t mama’s recipe.
The guy next to me just got a new huge plasma display computer screens. Me, I still have my smaller, but fully functional CRT. I think he’s trying to compensate for something. What do you think?
Dr. Duck – You can’t duc….avoid the question forever. Does Frank J. REALLY hate monkeys or is he just pandering to the anti-monkey wing of the VRWC? Us potential minions deserve an answer, are we following a true anti-monkeyist or when he takes over will he pull a Souter and let the monkeys takeover? Also am I right in thinking that “monkey”, in the context of IMAO is really a code word for Hippy?
Dr. Ducky.
I’m thinking of venturing out in pulic again. Should I wear a hat? or pants?
Mr. Duck:
I need to know where pulic is. I want to avoid that place so I’m not forced to witness a pantless spacemonkey.
I am having ladies’ night on my blog. Will there be high female traffic?
I am glad I dropped the ‘b’ not the ‘l’.
Dear Dr. Duck,
What are the odds that in the confirmation hearings of Harriet Miers, Ted Kennedy WON’T bring up Roe v. Wade?
I know, I know… Ducks prefer to paddle.
Dr. Duck,
Why does the poopy smell bad?
Dear Dr. Duck,
Did you post this blog just to see how many fanatical readers would ask questions? I smell something fishy… errr… ducky about this whole thing…
Will I win the Powerball Jackpot? Had to ask… maybe you are psychic… psycho?
Enough ramblings….