President Bush twisted the knob to the Senate chambers and walked right into the door.
“It’s locked!” Bush exclaimed, “What gives?”
“We’re sealing the Senate so we can have a discussion on the Iraq war,” answered Harry Reid from inside.
“What the hell have we been having for the past couple years?” Bush demanded.
“The American people must know the truth!” Reid responded.
“How are they going to know anything with the doors locked?!”
Reid was quiet for a moment. “Leaks!”
“That’s it!” Bush fumed, “You let me in so I can break your kneecaps with a pipe!”
“Never!”
“Stupid dumb Democrats,” Bush grumbled as he walked away. He then noticed a man standing nearby. “Who are you?”
“I’m the C-Span cameraman,” he answered, “I was voted to have the most boring job in the world.”
“Well I’m George W. Bush and I was voted President.” He then added angrily. “And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!”
“Now my job is even more boring since I got kicked out of the Senate chambers,” the cameraman sulked, “All I have to film are those closed Senate doors.”
“It’s not the time to film doors!” Bush declared, “It’s time for action!” He took a fire ax off the wall and charged the locked doors. The ax clanged against them without any effect. “Oh yeah,” Bush said, “The Senate doors have been enchanted with ancient colonial magic and are impervious to all attacks.” Bush thought for a moment. “But the walls are still vulnerable!” He began hacking away at a nearby wall.
“Doesn’t that go against the principles of a Senate lockdown?” the C-Span cameraman asked.
“The doors will still be locked; it’s within the rules.”
“What’s going on over here,” demanded Alito as he walked towards Bush followed by two toughs.
“I’m trying to get in to talk to the Senate about confirming you,” Bush answered, pausing from chopping away at the wall. “They locked the Senate chamber.” Bush looked at the two people behind Alito. “Who are your friends?”
“They’re Tony and Vito,” Alito answered.
“What do you guys do?” Bush asked.
“We work in… uh… sanitation,” Tony answered.
“Doing what?”
“Why’s this guy giving us the third degree?” Vito demanded of Alito.
“He’s cool; he just don’t know any better,” Alito answered. He turned to Bush. “See, my friends are here to testify on my behalf. It appears that some people are casting aspersions against me since I’m Italian and saying I have ties to the mob.”
“And there is no Mafia,” Tony asserted.
“So where did you meet your friends?” Bush asked.
“Uh… from a court case earlier in my career,” Alito answered, “Funny story. I was supposed to convict them for being part of organized crime but was unable on account of them being all innocent and what not.”
Tony and Vito laughed, and Bush joined in though he wasn’t sure what the joke was. “Well, we’re not going to be able to talk to the Senators unless we get through this wall. I’d ask for your help, but I only have one ax.”
“We brought our own,” Vito said as he and Tony each pulled out an ax.
“Knew about the lockdown, then?”
“Yeah; that’s what we brought them for,” Vito laughed.
They all then hacked away. “They’re coming through the walls!” came a scream from inside.
Bush turned to the C-Span cameraman. “Get ready to film democracy in action.”
“Quiet!” he answered back, staring intently through his camera, “I think I saw the doors move.”