“Yay! Pudding cup time!” President Bush exclaimed as he eagerly tore off the plastic cover and grabbed a spoon. “Nothing better than pudding cup time.”
“We need to talk to you!” Harry Reid and John Murtha barged into the Oval Office.
“Hey! No one is supposed to bother me during pudding cup time… unless it’s about pudding!”
“We have important things to discuss with you!” Reid said.
“No you don’t! You’re Democrats!” Bush pulled his pudding cup close to him so they wouldn’t steal it.
“You’re going to lose this war and we’ll make sure!” Murtha said. “We passed a non-binding resolution in the House against your surge!”
“You’re a surge!” Bush shouted.
“You’re wit is as sharp as always,” Reid said, “but that won’t save you when I finally get my cloture vote to pass a non-binding resolution against you in the Senate!”
“You’ll never get a cloture vote because you have no penis!”
“You have no proof of that!”
Bush waved his pudding spoon at them. “You Democrats are bad bad people! Did either of you think of how this sort of thing will affect the troops?”
“I heard the Democrats passed a non-binding resolution,” Gomez the Marine said as he patrolled a street in Iraq. “Any idea what that is?”
“No,” Buck the Marine answered, “but I’m guessing from context it’s some sort of homosexual sex act.”
“Enough talk!” Murtha shouted. He held up a piece of paper. “This is a non-binding arrest warrant for your illegal warring! Now I’m going put you in non-binding cuffs.” He placed handcuffs on Bush that promptly fell off. “Just wait until your non-binding trial when I read all these non-binding charges in this non-binding binder!” He held up a binder and all the papers fell out of it.
“Why are your pants around your ankles?” Bush asked. “Is your belt-buckle non-binding?”
“That plant is laughing at me!” Murtha shouted and pointed.
Bush looked where Murtha was pointing. “That’s a desk lamp.”
“What Murtha is trying to say,” Reid said, “is that you best declare your loss and end your war now! We Democrats will pester you until you have no hope but to–”
“Aieee!” Murtha screamed and jumped out the window.
“What was that about?” Bush asked.
Reid shrugged. “Who knows.”
“You ever thought about putting him in a home?”
“Well… we’re looking at a few different options… Anyway, your war is lost and there is nothing you can do to keep we Democrats from surrendering! Muh ha ha ha ha!” Reid then stood there for a moment. “Murtha had the car keys; can you call me a cab back to the Capitol?”
“No!” Bush threw a stapler at Reid who fled out the door. “Back to pudding cup time!” Bush was about to take a spoonful, but Condoleezza Rice rushed in and grabbed the pudding cup.
“Pudding cup time is over. You have to work on foreign affairs!”
“Nooooooooooo!” Bush yelled and pounded his desk. “Hey, Condi, which party controls Congress right now?”
“The Democrats.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Then why do they seem even more useless than before?”
