It’s sounding more and more likely that Fred Thompson will run for the Republican nomination for President. Can he win, though, when it’s well known that his penchant for bureaucracy nearly kept Bruce Willis and Clint Eastwood from getting the job done against terrorists and assassins?
I think he can.
Actually, the more I find out about Fred Thompson, the more I think he needs to be President. And I mean he should be President right now, like Dick Cheney should resign, President Bush should then appoint Fred Thompson to be Vice-President, and then President Bush should resign.
Do you think I’m going overboard when I’ve only just started to learn about Fred Thompson, but you won’t when you read this:
AWESOME FACTS ABOUT FRED THOMPSON
* Fred Thompson has on multiple occasions pronounced “nuclear” correctly.
* Fred Thompson has blasted more people in the face with a shotgun than even Dick Cheney.
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- The masked executioner of Saddam Hussein: Fred Thompson.
- Not only does Fred Thompson cut taxes, he cuts tax collectors.
- Fred Thompson is the only person to have ever bested Miyamato Mushashi in a duel. The reason Musashi is so vague about the book of the void is because the fifth ring of combat is really Fred Thompson.
- The reason Fred Thompson didn’t want to stay in the Senate for long is because all the extra scrutiny kept him from doing his favorite hobby: Prowling the streets at night killing drug dealers.
- Every night before going to sleep, Osama bin Laden checks under his bed for Fred Thompson.
- Fred Thompson took over what was Al Gore’s Senate seat, thereby dramatically reducing the Senate’s carbon footprint. Fred Thompson then created carbon offset offsets by wastefully burning hippies.
- The Fremen consider “Fred Thompson” a killing word.
- Fred Thompson reconsidered running for reelection after 9/11 but later decided to handle things on his own. He was soon seen entering the Middle East with a bottle of tequila in one hand an a handgun in the other. They’re still counting the dead.
- Though Fred Thompson left the Senate in 2003, Harry Reid still hasn’t stopped wetting his pants.
- Fred Thompson’s gaze can kill small animals.
- Fred Thompson once ended a filibuster by ripping out a Senator’s heart and showing it to him before he died.
- The actual cause of global warming: Fred Thompson’s burning rage.
- The budget to Law & Order was dramatically increased when Fred Thompson was added to the cast because he has to be digitally inserted into the scenes since anytime he’s near Hollywood liberals, he kills them.
- Only two things can kill Superman: Kryptonite and Fred Thompson.
- Fred Thompson once stood on our south border and glared at Mexico. There was no illegal immigration for a month.
- Scientists predict that when Fred Thompson dies he’ll explode taking out the five nearest planets before collapsing into a black hole.
- At a campaign stop, a Belgian Hound tried to hump Fred Thompson’s leg. That breed of dog no longer exists.
- Fred Thompson vows not only to win in Iraq but also to forcefully free Vietnam from Communism, thus giving America a perfect win/loss record for wars again.
- If you purchase a weather radio, it will wake you up with an alarm to warn you when Fred Thompson is pissed off.
- An abortion doctor tried to kill Fred Thompson when he was still in the womb, but he cut off the man’s hand with scalpel while shouting, “Do you know who I am? I’m Fred Thompson!”
- Webster’s Dictionary defines “conservatism” as “how closely one’s views resemble those of Fred Thompson.”
- Fred Thompson’s sense of strategy is so great that he can checkmate you using only a pawn and a knight.
- Fred Thompson can know both the exact position and momentum of a particle. Furthermore, he knows Schroedinger’s cat is dead because he personally strangled it.
- The most efficient airline security is to have Fred Thompson stare down everyone entering a plane.
- When terrorists get to the afterlife, they’ll find that none of their seventy-two women are still virgins. Why? Because of Fred Thompson.
- Fred Thompson can open clamshell packaging without the slightest trouble.
- In a butterfly ballot, no matter where you punch it the vote goes to Fred Thompson.
- Why does Iran want nuclear weapons? Out of fear of Fred Thompson.
- Some versions of the Bible have Mathew 5:5 read, “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth… unless Fred Thompson wants it.”
Thanks for those Frank facts. Now can we have some RWD facts?
A REAL Tennessee politician at last! I’m from the Volunteer State and still for the life of me can’t figure out where the hell Al-Gore came from. But Thompson can clean the slate for my home state before cleaning up our war record. Yay!!
That was freaking awesome.
Thompson 2008
If Bush boots out the clotty Cheney he will just appoint Jeb. It be better if the awful Bush resigned and Thompson took his place. Thompson sounds better than Rudy McRomney. Rudy McRomney is such a funny joke candidate that it makes me want to board the ROFLcopter or put on my Lollerskates.
I love Fred Thompson–it a totally gay way!
The enemy of my enemy is my friend. The way certain people talk about Mitt Romney and Rudi G. makes me think that they must be the best candidates for the job.
They can’t be much worse than John KerEdKusin and whoever else crawls out from the Liberal evolutionary swamp.
Fred Thompson and Chuck Norris: 2008!!
The enemy of my enemy is my friend. The way certain people talk about Mitt Romney and Rudi G. makes me think that they must be the best candidates for the job.
Go ahead and elect them Sean. It will be funny when Rudi puts liberals on the bench or when Romney passes laws in favor of gun control. Aren’t these candidates are what you doods call rinos? Just check their past histories. Either they have changed their positions very recently (flip flopped) or they are lying to you. Either way you have to admit it is very, very hilarious. It’s an ROFLattack.
//* The Fremen consider “Fred Thompson” a killing word.//
LOL!! That’s why they were afraid to pass the state income tax in Tennessee.
//* Some versions of the Bible have Mathew 5:5 read, “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth… unless Fred Thompson wants it.”//
I heard Fred Thompson was the Angel God assigned to guard the gates of Eden when Adam and Eve got booted. He was also the Angel that scared Balaam’s talking donkey and he liked doing that so much, he joined the Republican party.
What about Chuck Norris?
You need the Law and Order “DOINK DOINK” sound after each of the Fred Thompson facts.
I see SUPERDUD (aka Sarcasm Man) is brainstorming for the Dems again. He probably thinks Obama’s unbeatable, but just to be sure, we’ll trick the Rethuglicans into nominating a nobody…
He could have all of the DemoCRAPs investigated. He could name himself to the Supreme Court, and watch the Senate quiver as it fears not to confirm him!
I question him siding with Mcain/Feingold. I also question him voting NO to reduce the amount of gifts politicians can receive.
He’s still better than the abortionist Guiliani.
An absolutely great post. The comments would lead me to add:
* Fred Thompson causes self-deluded trolls into hysteric rambling rants immediately prior to soiling themselves.
Can someone send Mr. Thompson to New Mexico to stand on our border for a day or two?
Can someone send Mr. Thompson to New Mexico to stand on our border for a day or two?
What would be the point? Thompson’s a big border security sieve just like Bush is.
His record shows it. They are both sell-outs to the banking lobby which wants the illegal immigrants to pour in so they can sell them credit cards and charge them fees to send money out of the USA. Those of us who want tighter border control are never going to get it. Thompson and Bush are two politicians (among many) that are constantly screwing us over in favor of giant banks.
“* The Fremen consider “Fred Thompson” a killing word.”
Whatever you think of Fred Thompson; that should be a requirement of all future presidents.
In all seriousness, Fred Thompson would be a fantastic candidate!
Hey FrankJ I was look for a WWFTD bumper sticker (What Would Fred Thompson Do) in your IMAO store but can’t find it.
When will it be available?
😀
And he did the narration for a Tennessee football highlight DVD!
Fred Thompson and Chuck Norris: 2008!!
Posted by: Angie on March 12, 2007 01:24 PM
Seconded! 😀
S-M Please get your delusional talking points right. The default conspiracy theory for Bush is big oil. Dick Cheney’s is Haliburton. The banks belong to Greenspan. Fred Thompson has to get his own conspiracy theory. Bush, Cheney, and Greenspan don’t share very well.
Can someone please get the monkey a valium?
Fred Thompson POTUS and John Bolton Veep…I’m wet!!!
I had never heard of the man before today, but he’s already my big favorite.
Can anyone confirm the MSM is ridiculing his intelligence, so I can be sure he really is Reagan quality?
S-M Please get your delusional talking points right. The default conspiracy theory for Bush is big oil. Dick Cheney’s is Haliburton. The banks belong to Greenspan. Fred Thompson has to get his own conspiracy theory. Bush, Cheney, and Greenspan don’t share very well.
Fred Thompson is the same as the other GOP members that support illegal immigration. It is all about profits for the banks made by issuing credit cards for illegal aliens. It isn’t a conspiracy it is just facts. Why else would Thompson’s voting record be super soft on immigration? Either he is being paid off by the banks or he is a super liberal on immigration. Based on his voting record on other issues (very conservy) it seems more like he is taking bribes from the bank industry lobbyists just like the Bush administration. The only logical explanation for his super liberal immigration voting record (if you don’t think he is liberal) is that he is a crook. If you don’t believe he is a crook than you have to accept that fact the he is a liberal — he just loves illegal immigrants pouring into our country.
Sarcasm Man – You’re dead wrong on Thompson and illegal immigration. He is the ONLY major party candidate(if he runs) who the country can trust on the illigal immigrant issue.
You are calling him “super soft” on illegal immigration based on what, exactly?
You link to a post on his voting record on immigration, which only describes these three things:
1. Voted YES on allowing more foreign workers into the US for farm work. (Jul 1998)
2. Voted YES on visas for skilled workers. (May 1998)
3. Voted YES on limit welfare for immigrants. (Jun 1997)
Exactly NONE of these things has anything to do with illegal immigration. And only one of them could be construed as even being vaguely related – allowing more workers in to the US for farm work – because that’s the kind of work illegals tend to do.
But that is talking about allowing more LEGAL immigrants in for farm work. Not illegal. The farmers asked for more workers, and the goverment voted to open up more LEGAL slots for farm workers. That makes perfect sense to me.
Now the other two – letting more SKILLED workers into the country with LEGAL immigration. Even big anti-illegal people like myself and Michele Malkin are for this – the U.S. needs SKILLED LEGAL immigrants to keep us competiive, and everybody on our side of the issue thinks that increasing the ease to get SKILLED workers is a good thing. We want to be able to pick and choose the best and the brightest, and import SKILLED workers over unskilled as we want them – LEGALLY.
So that has nothing to do with illegal immigration, either.
And number three? He voted to NOT give welfare to illegal immigrants – that’s “super liberal?” Sounds right on to me.
So none of those votes you cited has anything to do with illegal immigration, and two of them are actually clearly on OUR side on that issue anyway.
Did you even really look at his record? Or are we so far gone on the immigration issue now that you don’t even condone LEGAL immigration anymore? That anybody in favor of LEGAL immigration to the U.S. is somehow “super soft on illegals?” and not worth voting for? I’m sorry, but that’s just lunacy.
Thompson is one of the only major Conservative candidates who has come out with the RIGHT position on illegal immigration – ENFORCEMENT FIRST. Seventy percent of Americans favor this common-sense approach. We already have plenty of laws not being enforced, so why do we think new laws are magically going to be enforced and solve this problem? Didn’t work in ’86, and we don’t want to be taken on the same ride again.
Enforce the border first. Stop the flow. Then deal with who is here. This is obviously the only serious and common sense way to deal with illegal immigration. And Thompson has had the courage of his convictions and the fealty to common sense and truth to come right out and say that that is what he favors.
As far as I’m concerned, he’s the ONLY major party (potential) candidate who can win who I trust on this issue.
Or perhaps Sarcasm Man is a lefty troll here to spread disinformation and discontent among the Conservative ranks about Thompson – and deflate the balloon before it gets too big.
Thompson scares the heck out of the left – Bob Beckel supposedly called him the Left’s “worst nightmare”.
Seeing as how Thompson’s record and what he says are the exact kind of thing Conservatives(and almost the entire rest of the country) actually WANT on the illegal immigrant issue, I can’t see how any other explanation than “lefty troll” for Sarcasm’s Man’s bizarre posts on Thompson’s immigration record make any sense.
You wanna bet that new Law and Order episodes will have Branch acting more and more Batty and Fascist so the unbathed masses who believe TV is real will stray from Thompson? I have a feeling We are going to hear interesting things from Branch after his announcement that he’s considering a run.
Just how Homowood works.
This is the silliest, most unrealistic thing I’ve ever read. NO ONE can open clamshell packaging without at least a little trouble. And bleeding.
http://FightingTheLeft.com
“The only logical explanation for his super liberal immigration voting record (if you don’t think he is liberal) is that he is a crook. If you don’t believe he is a crook than you have to accept that fact the he is a liberal — he just loves illegal immigrants pouring into our country.”
Sarcasm, I don’t posting personal attack; I don’t like posting ad hominem attacks — but this is just mind-numbingly retarded. It crosses the plain of retardedness into unexplored dimensions and demands a new word be created to fully capture its bizareness.
1. You say illegal immigration is ruining this country and is a part of some sort of banking conspiracy
2. Then, after attacking this for a few posts, you say the fact he supports this must mean he’s a liberal…
3. ???? Meaning liberals are part of some banking conspiracy to ruin this country with illegal immigration????
4. or he’s a crook? wtf?
The fact you’re this worked up about the guy and tossing around reasons this ridiculous to get us not to like him tells everybody reading this thread what you really think of the guy, and for us, it’s a pretty good sign.
I’m still wavering between you being real or just a schtick by Frank or one of the other guys–anybody have any ideas, how do we resolve this?
The Fremen consider “Fred Thompson” a killing word.
That may just be the first time I’ve ever seen a blogger produce a joke based on Dune.
I heard Fred Thompson was the man who taught Leonidas to beat up persian faggots.
Now that was very good. What a step, a giant step up that would be. Fred can read and speak all at the same time.
Hey how about Governor Schwarzenegger for Vice President! Best supporting actor in the role of a serious grown up, President Fred Thompson, and in his role as VP Arnold Schwarzenegger gets a best supporting actor nomination! What a ticket…too bad they don’t give out academy awards to actors who become politicians.
“I heard Fred Thompson was the man who taught Leonidas”
If Fred Thompson was at Thermopylae the movie would have been called 1.
None of the Republican candidates thrilled me until Fred started being talked about. All I can say is yeah. Hell, yeah. #@*& yeah!
Who was that young country singer chick he used to date? I remember thinking, at the time, that he was the studliest Senator ever. Charles Schumer’s scrotum must have shrivelled up anytime Fred appeared.
As someone who has (a) met Fred Thompson (and lived to tell about it), is (b) larger than the average American male and (c) no stranger to conflict or physical confrontation, let me say this: Fred Thompson is one intimidating giant of a man. He’d make Poofy Hair look like a hand puppet if they met to “discuss” N.Korea’s nuclear curiosity. Get him in the race already!
“If Fred Thompson was at Thermopylae the movie would have been called 1”
and we’d all be wondering if Persia really ever existed.
>
Right, he is either a crook (doing it to make money from a kickback) or he is just liberal on immigration (wants immigrants to pour into the U.S. because he loves them). What third reason could there be? Why, for example, does Bush back immigration laws that many on the right vehemently disagree with? Answer: Bush is a crook and gets money from the bank lobbyists.
If Bush really wanted to stop immigration he would be against these credit cards for people that don’t have social security cards but he isn’t. It is just a big scam to screw over U.S. citizens and allow U.S. dollars to be sent out of our country. Haven’t you seen the maps showing future plans for massive highways connecting Canada, the U.S. and Mexico? Don’t you realize what is going on or do you trust the government a little too much? Doesn’t that make YOU the big loser for trusting people like Bush, Cheney and whoever the next pro-immigration Republican is that comes along? Answer: Yes, it does. It does make you a stupid loser. You are a stupid big government supporting sap. Quit acting like you are some staunch conservative when what you really are is just a big leftist spineless big government supporting sap. You should be ashamed of yourself WAL.
And so should you David. The issues you are talking being OK about ARE NOT supported by people who are trying to protect our borders. Those are issues that leftists support and George W. Bush supports. Of course maybe you are a leftist and not a real conservative. You are one of those left-leaning fools who trusts the government blindly and wants it to become bigger and bigger and bigger like Bush has been making it since he took office.
Run Fred,Run. It would be great! There is not a
single Republican that I LIKE. Fred Thompson
would be the dream candidate. I am from Tennessee
and we loved him. Run,Fred, run…FAST.
Fred’s all right from what I see — not perfect, but none will be — seems to be good on immigration, taxation, regulation, and generally WoT….has issues with our strategies in Iraq but is prepared to do what it takes to fix it as quickly as possible…..best thing is that he’s that Stand Up But Stuffy Boss DA guy on Law and Order. The guy has built-in recognizability to regular people who watch network TV, and even when his character has to decide something against what the viewer wants, it usually plays out that his was the correct choice (or at least he feels bad when it goes wrong….). I think this is a very strong positive for a potential candidate in such an entertainment-oriented society; people tend to confuse the character and the actor. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that this relatively popular actor, with Senate experience and a law career of his own, could capitalize on the parallels to the newly-popular Reagan and set up Law and Order: POTUS in January 2009.
We need a website called “frankthompsonfacts.com”
The Senator neeeds a tutorial in logic. In his infomercial on Fox “News” Sunday this past weekend, when questioned about his stance on gay rights, he stated that he thought “we ought to be tolerant people. But we shouldn’t set up special categories for anybody. … I’m for the rights of everybody, including gays, but not any special rights.” However, he immediately reversed that stance when he was asked about marriage equality, which he opposes, because “marriage is between a man and a woman.” By definition, to reserve some rights for one group of citizens only, to deny those rights to all other citizens, is to create special rights for the privileged group. Period. Either you support equal rights for all, or you are a proponent of special rights for some. The Senator’s logic echoes Orwell’s Animal Farm (1945): “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”
He’s a lawyer, turned actor, turned senator, turned actor who portrays a lawyer on TV. He’s from the South. He’s as conservative as they come, and he’s highly intelligent. He’d be like Reagan, G Bush, Clinton, and G W Bush combined. Imagine a president with G W Bush’s goals combined with Reagan’s communication skills and Clinton’s Teflon superhero powers.
But the best reason of all he should at least run for president is this…
Can you see Thompson calling in a couple of foreign leaders and reading them their rights like he did to Tom Cruise and Michael Rooker in Days Of Thunder?
Thompson (as Big John): If you two wanna turn yourselves into a greasy spot out on a country road somewhere, go right ahead. I don’t give a bleep and I don’t think anybody else does, but you two monkeys are not going to do it on my racetrack.
That would be awesome.
He’d have major babes in his administration and he would eliminate terrorists with his bare hands!
Sarcasm, you’ve gone past the point where I’m even bothering to read your entire posts.
You carry retarded to a completely different level. That’s not an insult it’s just a plain statement of fact.
You accuse someone of being a crook for doing something, say it’s ruining this country, and then say doing this also makes him a liberal -not putting two and two together and realizing in the process you’re implying your entire party is part of some corrupt banking conspiracy and that liberal support a policy ruining the United States.
If I went on the Daily Kos and tried to convince them to dislike Obama because he was part of a Martian takeover of planet Earth it would make more sense than your incoherent ramblings here.
Would you like to accuse your party of being part of the mafia also?
I genuinely feel stupider for having bothered to read the first paragraph of your response, though I can happily state I was able to break away before it was too late. I will walk away with a nagging fear that anybody who actually made it to the end may have suffered the same fate as the kids who stared too long into the deadlights when trying to face down the It in the Stephen King novel.
The reason Fred Thompson didn’t want to stay in the Senate for long is because all the extra scrutiny kept him from doing his favorite hobby: Prowling the streets at night killing drug dealers.
Here’s a question: How come Frank J left out the fact that when he prowls the streets at night, Fred Thompson kills drug dealers with a sword?
Does Frank J have some kind of hidden agenda in trying to make Fred Thompson look like some ordinary vigilante? Why refuse to mention the sword carried by Fred Thompson’s ancestors during the Crusades and passed down from generation to generation?
DO THE FREDDY !!
David, you made the cardinal error, you clicked and read sarcasm man’s links. That’s not fair. You’re supposed to just believe the links mean what it says they mean.
When Chuck Norris goes to bed he wears Fred Thompson pajamas.
whew
Dodged that one.
I hope he wins, just to piss Sarcasm Man off if for no other reason.
Just so ya know, these facts are all true.
I once shook his hand and he cured my cancer.
You’re feeding the frenzy, Frank. Good work.
Of course, the MSM will not attack FT to make him look stupid, because even someone who watches Katie Couric every night can understand that Fred makes all reporters look stupid. So they will play the other card — Republicans who aren’t stupid are SCARY! Ever hear Leno try to make Cheney sound stupid? No? Well, how many times has Leno tried to make Cheney sound scary?
And Fred is Way Cooler Than Cheney.
BBB
Hugh Donagher said:
The Senator’s logic echoes Orwell’s Animal Farm (1945): “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”
Hmmmm. Not so much. I bet FT supports a gay person’s right to marry any person of the opposite sex they choose. And I bet he doesn’t support any straight person’s right to marry soneone of the same sex. Sounds pretty consistent to me.
No one has yet mentioned that Fred’s middle name is Dalton. He is simply carrying on the manly tradition of the Dalton gang. Whatta guy!
Damn you Frank J.!
You beat me to the funnay.
shakes fist I’ll get you for this.
I ran into Fred Thompson on the sidewalk in Washington, DC one evening. He was wearing a tuxedo. I couldn’t help myself, I touched his arm, and gushed, “OMG, I love you!” I am over sixty years old, but it was like high school. I’m still so humiliated. It’s true, he is the studliest man around.
Dang it, now I gotta add one:
Fred Thompson was originally going to be a character in Street Fighter 2, but every button made him give his infamous Death Glare of Doom. When asked if he wanted the programmers to fix that glitch, Thompson replied “What glitch?”
So, like… Fred Thompson?
Deal me in, Dude!
Last time we got excited about anyone was for Reagan in 1980. (Ashamed to say, we did not grant him credibility in 1976.) What we yearn for is not someone with whom we totally agree (dream on), but for a high-odds winning candidate who knows his own mind, has addressed complex issues clearly and consistently– above all, a realist and pre-emptor, none of this supine PCBS in face of savage enemies readying their next atrocity.
Thompson seems to grasp supply-side economics; might eventually concede that McCain/Feingold is a ghastly stain on constitutional democracy. Should he partner with Jeb Bush or Rick Perry or even Mitt Romney in 2008, against a MzBill/Obama-banana ticket, retrogressive D-rats could go the way of Schmondale with Ferarro/Zacaro in 1984. Remember Geraldine– like today’s Mrs. Frum/Pelosi, no-one knows her name.
Thank you so much for those facts !
I hope someone sends them to Fred….he’d sure get a kick out of them !
I Soo hope he is our next President !!
Signed,
A Fred supporter in TX
The Rebel Alliance had nothing to do with destroying the Death Star, It cast a shadow over Fred Thompson, and self-destructed!
Other little known facts.
One look from Fred Thompson can:
1. Strike Chuck Shumner speechless for a month
2. Shock Ted Kennedy into soberity
3. Make Henry Waxman’s balls turn blue and fall off.
And not necessarily in that order.
Whenever Fred Thompson chuckles, a terrorist dies horribly. When he snickers, a dictator melts. And when he laughs out loud, somewhere an entire galaxy implodes.
Love the one about Harry Reid pissing his pants!
Now that Fred’s gone from the Senate, Ms. Pelosi has taken his place- where Mr. Reid’s bashful bladder is concerned!!
And hilarity ensued….
I love the list. I wish I had that kind of wit!
Seriously I will back any true conservative over what is available. The key is that Thompson is the one conservative with the charisma to pull it off. Next he needs a Clearance Thomas or Alberto Gonzales type of “minority” conservative and he will be unbeatable. Ok one little joke, and it was bad.
re: Fred & illegal immigration, I think this might clarify his position: Paul Harvey Show.
“Every night before going to sleep, Osama bin Laden checks under his bed for Fred Thompson.” – if he jumps in this race for real (please, please) there will be a few democrats with nightmares, too.
John Blake, I’m a native Texan. Please don’t wish Rick Perry on the greatness of a Fred Thompson lead ticket. Kill me…
You oughta pass this on to Fred, let him see it. Send it on to DraftFred!
What would Fred Thompson do? Bumper sticker (gold)
What would Fred Thompson do? Black Bumper sticker and Mugs
What would Fred Thompson do Mugs and Bumper stickers
http://www.cafepress.com/wwftd
http://www.cafepress.com/colotto