I don’t get bears. They’re like these giant killing machines that can swipe your head off with a single blow, yet their diet consists mainly of berries and fish. That’s like driving a battlemech to the grocery store.
26 Comments
“That’s like driving a battlemech to the grocery store.”
If that is all you have, it’s better than walking.
That’s like driving a battlemech to the grocery store.
I know! You won’t believe all the whining about craters in the parking lot, knocked-down light posts, crushed cars, etc. when I take my Atlas to the Wal-Mart Supercenter!
“..giant killing machines that can swipe your head off with a single blow”
Cute fuzzy giant killing machines.
Bears were put here to protect us from monkeys. Think about it, how big is Canada’s monkey problem? It is almost nonexistent. Why? Bears! Canada has lots of them. Any country with bears has very little problem with monkeys.
Countries that have gotten rid of their bears are overrun with monkeys i.e. Russia (thats why they drink) Do you think Boris Yeltzen could have done a better job if he could have stayed sober? Blame the monkeys.
They’re like these giant killing machines that can swipe your head off with a single blow, yet their diet consists mainly of berries and fish.
Unless they can get near enough to you to swipe your head off with a single blow; then their diet consists mainly of you.
#3 – Posted by: Master Shake on July 10, 2008 11:04 AM
You sicken me. You should sell that monstrosity and get a Hybrid Firemoth, its better for the environment.
A forest ranger handout offered this advice on distinguishing between black and brown bears and how to deal with them.
Wear bells so the bears can hear you coming before they see you. Carry pepper spray in case of a confrontation.
Black bear poop may contain berry seeds and squirrel fur.
Brown bear poop may contain bells and smell of pepper.
For your information, my battlemech gets excellent gas mileage. And I can get a whole month’s worth of groceries in there. Try doing that with a Prius, nancyboy.
As I recall, battlemechs are powered by fusion reactors, so very, very environmentally friendly. When you don’t use the flamethrower or LRM20 on the local solar plant or comstar station, that is.
Lord, I haven’t used a lot of THOSE words in at least 15 years. Apart from the X-Box games (which were pretty good at the end – wonder why an XB360 game hasn’t come out that doesn’t suck yet?), I probably wouldn’t still have brain cells devoted to the difference between an Atlas and Jenner.
– MadCat. 🙂
“Anyway, you don’t need to get bears. If they want you to understand something, they’ll come over to your house and pound it into you”
Does this make bears a LOT like Fred Thompson?
A little bear story. it appears the Spanish when they first got here, found the bear a possible adversary for their beloved “el Toro” They managed to procure a live grizzly(don’t ask me how) and put it in the arena with a known killer bull. The bear rose up -the bull snorted and charged. When the bull reacher the grizzly, it merely swatted at it and broke its neck with one blow.
That’s why to this day you don’t see any matadors fighting grizzlies.
PS one tried it and the griz usedhis red cape for a after dinner knapkin.
PPS the first part of this is true.
If I’m not mistaken (it’s been a while),scientifically bears are in the same family as otters, muskrats and mink. That would make bears more like giant weasels or John Murtha.
“That’s like driving a battlemech to the grocery store.”
If that is all you have, it’s better than walking.
At least people won’t say anything to you when you park in the handicapped spots.
That’s like driving a battlemech to the grocery store.
I know! You won’t believe all the whining about craters in the parking lot, knocked-down light posts, crushed cars, etc. when I take my Atlas to the Wal-Mart Supercenter!
And they’re so darn cute! Like John Candy.
At least polar bears eat baby seals.
The fish have fewer escape options than my head. And the berries … don’t even get me started on their lack of evasive skills.
Just think how cool the right to arm bears would be.
“..giant killing machines that can swipe your head off with a single blow”
Cute fuzzy giant killing machines.
Bears were put here to protect us from monkeys. Think about it, how big is Canada’s monkey problem? It is almost nonexistent. Why? Bears! Canada has lots of them. Any country with bears has very little problem with monkeys.
Countries that have gotten rid of their bears are overrun with monkeys i.e. Russia (thats why they drink) Do you think Boris Yeltzen could have done a better job if he could have stayed sober? Blame the monkeys.
They’re like these giant killing machines that can swipe your head off with a single blow, yet their diet consists mainly of berries and fish.
Unless they can get near enough to you to swipe your head off with a single blow; then their diet consists mainly of you.
#7 – Posted by: on July 10, 2008 12:38 PM
Yeah, a bear with dual shoulder mounted mini-guns would be awesome.
Interrupting Random Thoughts with a Random Announcement, Mark Steyn is doing Rush’s radio show tomorrow. End of interruption.
#3 – Posted by: Master Shake on July 10, 2008 11:04 AM
You sicken me. You should sell that monstrosity and get a Hybrid Firemoth, its better for the environment.
I feed my bears arugula. I have to give them the good stuff, or they’ll rip my nuts off!
Occasionally I get to eat enviroweenies, after I wash them real good, soft meat – like veal.
They must be eatin’ some libs now and then, ’cause their scat sure stinks!
They’re lazy. Not a lot of nuts and berries in the artic (Polar Bears). I wonder if we move PETA to the artic how long they would stay vegans.
mmmmm, fish and berries, rawr…
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/06/060613-cat-bear.html
If bears are so bad then how come they are scared of cats.
If you had a battlemech, wouldn’t you drive it everywhere?!?
“I need to go to the store, should I take the battlemech or the Prius?”
A forest ranger handout offered this advice on distinguishing between black and brown bears and how to deal with them.
Wear bells so the bears can hear you coming before they see you. Carry pepper spray in case of a confrontation.
Black bear poop may contain berry seeds and squirrel fur.
Brown bear poop may contain bells and smell of pepper.
For your information, my battlemech gets excellent gas mileage. And I can get a whole month’s worth of groceries in there. Try doing that with a Prius, nancyboy.
#14
I think enviroweenies are so veal like because they don’t do any real work either.
As I recall, battlemechs are powered by fusion reactors, so very, very environmentally friendly. When you don’t use the flamethrower or LRM20 on the local solar plant or comstar station, that is.
Lord, I haven’t used a lot of THOSE words in at least 15 years. Apart from the X-Box games (which were pretty good at the end – wonder why an XB360 game hasn’t come out that doesn’t suck yet?), I probably wouldn’t still have brain cells devoted to the difference between an Atlas and Jenner.
– MadCat. 🙂
“Anyway, you don’t need to get bears. If they want you to understand something, they’ll come over to your house and pound it into you”
Does this make bears a LOT like Fred Thompson?
A little bear story. it appears the Spanish when they first got here, found the bear a possible adversary for their beloved “el Toro” They managed to procure a live grizzly(don’t ask me how) and put it in the arena with a known killer bull. The bear rose up -the bull snorted and charged. When the bull reacher the grizzly, it merely swatted at it and broke its neck with one blow.
That’s why to this day you don’t see any matadors fighting grizzlies.
PS one tried it and the griz usedhis red cape for a after dinner knapkin.
PPS the first part of this is true.
If I’m not mistaken (it’s been a while),scientifically bears are in the same family as otters, muskrats and mink. That would make bears more like giant weasels or John Murtha.