North Korea, following up on it’s nuke and missile tests, is talking war with South Korea.
Godspeed, President Obama.
It’s 3 A.M. and the Phone Is Ringing
North Korea, following up on it’s nuke and missile tests, is talking war with South Korea.
Godspeed, President Obama.
We need to tell Obama that Bush wouldn’t do anything, and that to differentiate himself from Bush he needs to go buck nutty bombing the Norks.
And, oh, BTW Li’l Kim, I want the USS Pueblo back, NOW!
It MUST be 3am and not 3pm because Obama sleepily put the phone up to his ear backwards…look at the cord! (phones w/ Cords?!)
Gird your loins!
And clearly this image is a plagiarized photoshop, because A) I have seen it other places on the web, with no attribution to this site, and 2) there is no power cord on the wall for the wall clock. By §3412(a) of the Illinois Code (1993, revised), all wall outlets must be at the same height or coded by color, shape, or size for amperage variance. There is a wall outlet below and to the left of the clock, uncoded by color, shape, or size for any nonstandard amperage. Since no one would operate a clock that size with just batteries, clearly it’s a cheap photoshop, even though the rest of the picture appears to be authentic and unretouched.
If the Norks embroil us in a thermonuclear war with the ChiComs, can I have posting privileges here? And your laptop?
The Obama administration has released a complete transcript of this phone conversation:
Sec. Def. Gates: “Mr. President, Kim Jung Il is threatening to attack South Korea. How do you wish to respond?”
Obama: “Present.”
Settle down folks! Barry has this! A cool new Ipod along with 6 CD’s, 6 DVD’s and his last two books have been shipped to N. Korea! Once received, The Dear Leader shall stand down. Over and Out…
Well, clearly a strongly-worded letter is in order. Since Mr. Obama is such a good delegator, perhaps he’ll have Mrs. Clinton write it and have Madeleine Albright deliver it with a bottle of wine. Some gifts would be nice, too, as Mr. UssJimmyCarter suggests, however, may I propose that, in response to their need for fuel and food, that we make a serious commitment to supply them with those commodities in return for their good word to not instigate any armed conflict? With their needs met, it’s clear their belligerent attitude will be replaced by feelings of good will and respect for all their worldly neighbors. Perhaps Bill Clinton would be willing to accompany Ms. Albright on this quest.
I’m sure Dear Leader will go meet Kim Jong Ding Dong bow before him, shake his hand, give him a hug, give him DVD’s, get a copy of Kim Jong’s book, and apoligize to him for America being the Devil. It’s all good…….uh we’re doomed we’re really F–ked.
Obama responds with three hour primetime speech where he says the word “I” 425 times!
Remember to say a prayer for the people we still have over there.
I think you are onto something Isaac. I wonder if FrankJ knows about this? You should totally email him about it.
“Hello UN? I’d like to lodge a vigorous protest against North Korea! …….Yes I can hold.”
The trick is to time the glassification of the Norks to coincide with the relative absence of key satellites in orbit above the EMP-affected area (also naval ships and aircraft in the vicinity).
Or, just send a strongly-worded letter and a box of Elvis CD’s with Madeleine.
I think the photo needs some updating, since Obam…uhhh… wet himself at the thought that he might have to actually do something.
But he quickly recovered his composure – it’s nothing that apologizing for America a few more times can’t take care of!
I agree that the photo needs to be updated. There should be a teleprompter screen on the right edge of the pic. And, it would probably be spot-on accurate if Chairman Zero had a mirror with two and a half lines of white powder still on it either in that open hand or on the chair replacing the papers.
Hey, messiah’s are religious people. They don’t need to know how to use a telephone.
” I know he’s the ‘original’ Dear Leader, but I’ll play him One-on-One in basketball, for rights to the title.
How come the phone gets its own chair and the dude on the left is sitting on the floor?
Sadly, this is only the beginning of the world testing him….
“Mr. Obama, North korea just nuked Hawaii with a long range missle!! What is your response?”
“I….I… I… wil apologize to them for their troubles. If Kim had asked me I would have used one of our own bombs to save him the trouble.”
I don’t remember the episode where Apophis used a telephone.
I would kill to have Apophis as leader now…
Instead, we have Apophis’ gay, coke-fiend half-brother….
His teleprompter was in the shop that day, so he’s reading the responses written in his palm.
The guy on the left, just out of view, is Joltin’ Joe Biden,chained to the desk for his last batch of Bidenmouth, while O-bah-muhh umms and uhhs without a teleprompter.
Be cool, y’all; Barry’s totally going to get a handle on this once he decides if Kimmie is more black or more white as compared with himself. Or if Kimmie’s as Asian a himself…Lolo Soetoro was Obie’s daddy for a while there and he was Indonesian, after all. That’s kinda like Korean, right?
Of course, the answer is “none of the above” to all three queries, but shhh… let Obie figure it out on his own; he’s gotta learn this whole presidizzle-thing somehow. Hopefully before the next 100 days or nuclear incident…whichever comes first.
Please, Lord, let them get to use the giant, 747 mounted chemical laser at least once* before o has it scrapped. A few unexplained detonations just above the launch pad would send the Nork scientists back to their rice-paper drawing boards and then o could be all like, “Oh, what a terrible tragedy! The US will be glad to rush all the humanitarian aid you need … as soon as the background radiation levels drop!” But then I suppose he’d spoil it by lending them some of our nukes to show them how much he trusts them.
*or twice
5 o’ 7-
He’ll probably lend them a chem laser to use as a guidance system. But only so long as they promise to not hit any part of America that isn’t flyover country.
Oh well, there’s always Plan B.
Ancient Marine Killin’ Song:
from The Chronicles of Dubya, (the bestest history of the Bush presidency ever writ) by some guy named Frank J. Fleming.
Oh, God made for’ners for a killin’,
Or so says my dear old pa.
So I shoot me some ugly for’ners
And then triumphantly shout, ‘Ooh-rah!’
Yes, for’ners are for a killin’
So it’s their blood I’m spillin’.
Once I kill me a million
I’ll shout my last, ‘Ooh-rah!’
If us Marines fire enough bullets,
The world will run out of lead.
Then we’ll have to draw our KA-BARs
And stab them for’ners dead.
Yes, for’ners are for a killin’
So it’s their blood I’m spillin’.
Once I kill me a million
I’ll shout my last, ‘Ooh-rah!’