At a recent speech, Obama handed out white lab coats to his audience to make them look smarter. That’s a good idea. Only smart people wear white lab coats as dumb people would just stain them with neon orange powdered cheese. Maybe Obama shouldn’t have stopped there, though. Maybe he should also have had them all wear mortar boards and have diplomas to hold in their hands so we would look at them and say, “Wow! These are smart people! If they agree with the president, then I should agree too so I will be smart!”
Actually, the president himself could use some smartening; maybe he should wear a mortar board and a lab coat at all times. Then if someone disagree with him, he could say, “Don’t you disagree with me! I’m very smart! Look at my hat! LOOK AT MY HAT! Now don’t bother me; I’m off to do Science!” He’d be impressive then; I bet everyone would stop making fun of him.
Give Obama a cigar, too, and he’d look like Graucho Marx!
(It wouldn’t make his policies any better, but then I would at least have some amusement when I have to look at him.)
Even if they did don mortar boards, the White House medical corps was still missing those headbands with the reflector-thingies. That’s what really smart doctors wear. Or wore, back in the day when doctors were doctors, and cowboys rode tall in the saddle like John Wayne, who is spinning in his grave about all the shenanigans going on in DC. Now, John Wayne always wore a MAN’S hat! Don’t you think Big O would look a little goofy in John Wayne’s hat? Or boots. Heh.
He needs a monacle and a pipe. Not a straight pipe, either. One of those curly ones, the kind smart people smoke.
I feel we’re making progress…. a year ago, white lab coats would have racist….
OOOH! and a jacket with patches on the elbows! He could wear it over his lab coat!
EDIT: I feel we’re making progress…. a year ago, white lab coats would have been racist…
Why’d he have to hand out white coats? Did George Clooney forget his “Dr. Doug Ross” costume?
Or did he misinterpret Dr. Dre’s credentials?
I think I actually saw this in a movie once…
…but mortarboards are a good idea- but with trowels and and aprons, too- then he would have the whole 1790’s Washington insider masonic thing going. How cool would that be?
What else could he do to look smarter? Hmmm, regarding facial hair, a soul patch could help, since bushy moustaches went out with Einstein. Maybe a vest with a nice gold watch chain and a bowler hat. No bow ties, though – that would be too Farrakhanesque.
Lab coats WITH leathers patches on the elbows!
One word…….spats.
BTW, I love the google ads for HealthCareForAmericaNow and the t-shirts with CCCP. It warms the cockles of my heart to know that IMAO is getting money from these groups, with little to no chance of their ads having their desired effect.
Is it just me, or were all 3 white people relegated to the background?
I wonder how much we spent on all those lab coats.
I bet they all had present hussein in 08 stickers on them.
Pocket protectors. Don’t forget pocket protectors with a couple of pens – or maybe test tubes – in the breast pocket of the (still white) lab coat.
Did the Scorpio Killer ever wear a hat? I can’t recall.
Mortar Board = Preemptive Bucket Defense System
innominatus – LOL : )
O-bah-muhh wud luhk much smirter if he wor I glassez lik Poyndeckstur & Peeboddy
#13’s right!
Pocket protectors are a must, preferably with a slide rule. Slide rules make you look really, really, really smart. Extra IQ points if you actually know how to use one!
(Warning! Slide rules should not be displayed around women because of their potential for unintended birth control.)
We already know He’s smart!! (<<<we must capitalize H when referring to Him) He went to Harvard and got really good gra….oh…wait
sorry, never mind.
Well…we can read all those really smart articles He wrote when he was in charge of the Harvard Law Rev….. oh wait…
never mind. Well…there’s all those really smart laws he came up with when he was….ummm.. ok, skip that one too.
Well, he’s CLEAN! and ARTICULATE!! I think that means He’s smart, right?
No, innominatus, just no. If Obama whore a mortar board, he’d have to deal with the tassel being shoved up his nose when he gets a bucket stuck on his head. The board would collapse thereby shoving the tassel into his giant proboscis. Hmmm. I think I like it.
I write as a PhD in Chemistry.
Those white lab coats – the smart, competent people keep theirs clean. The stupid, inefficient, incompetent slobs in the labs and the hospitals and factories get theirs dirty.
That is why a clean white lab coat is an indicator of smarts.
A newly acquired lab coat, put on moments before a photo opportunity in public, indicates nothing about the wearer, except that they are vile enough to be used for base political posturing. When the wearers of the white lab coats drive home in them, and wear them at work, it will be easier to determine whether they are smart and still clean, or stupid and dirty after only a few days.
Plus with the mortarboard, it’s harder to get his head stuck in buckets.
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