So the White House is now claiming they’ve saved or created 3.5 million jobs in the last quarter. That’s a lot of jobs! I don’t know how the unemployment rate is near 10% with Obama just shooting jobs out his rear like this.
So what are these jobs? Here are some that Obama has saved or created:
* Park rangers for snipe preserve.
* Unicorn groomers.
* Warden for leprechaun prison camp.
* Grief counselors for bigfoots.
* Assistant to the Tooth Fairy.
* Gremlin exterminator.
* Border patrol for border with Honalee.
* Administrative assistants for honest lawyers.
And everything single one of Obama’s jobs he saved or created is completely invisible and only detectable by the magical pixies who do his number crunching. That means they’re secure!
Tooth fairy was going to hire those extra assistants anyway during the Obama years. What with all those hippies and their teeth getting knocked/falling out.
Just today, Obama announced that the stimulus has created millions of new manufacturing jobs in the muffler bearing sector.
Ehhhh…What’s an honest lawyer?
* Ghost writers for his next book: “My successfull Presidency”
* Executive assistants to keep track of his broken promises.
And the area where the biggest increase will be?
* New Republican Representatives, Senators, and Governors!
Team leader for action group responsible for removing POTUS head from buckets.
* 100 jobs created attaching pontoons to Guam so it doesn’t tip over
* 50 jobs created at the Museum of Modern Islamic Scientific Acheivements
Thirty three staffers to pick Mbo’s wardrobe.
Twenty seven telepromptor polishers.
Eleventy thousand second chakra releasers.
#1 good one, shiggz That would be the Fred Thompson / Chuck Norris program.
I was gonna try to make some smart comment about Obama’s 3.5i x 10^6 jobs, but couldn’t come up with one. So I’ll just say kudos to Frank for the best use of an imaginary number I’ve seen outside of a textbook.
Are They Sure the Number of Jobs Saved or Created Isn’t 3,500,000i?
Good one. It’s so rare to find funny math humor that doesn’t involve holding a calculator upside down.
According to Red Nanny, unemployment checks, and I would assume welfare checks, are good for the economy. Logically, Unemployed Homeless Derelict is a legitimate job description.
Frank, you can’t take the square root of The Negative One. His brain is imaginary!
(Toot toot!)
Honest Lawyers is an oxymoron.
Several people in Mumbai are now doing my old job (cheaper and probably better) so I have a new job as a Cat Herder. We have 5 head of CATtle right now, 2 boys and 3 girls. The boys don’t like the girls, and vive versa.
Blood has been shed when they’re allowed to mix, so they take turns being shut up in a spare room. Meanwhile, (under a secret identity) I have a 2nd new job as a right-wing extremist web author, posting news, propaganda, diatribes and mockery of THE WON and his minions. So that’s 2 jobs he created, although he’s probably not very happy about the 2nd one.
Who knew sign companies needed 3,500,000 new workers.
* Shovel Ready Jobs: Shovel Cleaning Tech (Levels I and II, previous experience required)
* Shovel Ready Jobs: Shovel Cleaner Assistant (Entry Level, training supplied)
* Unbecoming presidential cartoon web reporter/analyst (urgently needed, all applications considered)
* Golf course scout (travel required, no Republicans)
$10,000. That’s how much money the Washington Airports Authority tells ABC News it spent to make and install the sign – a single sign –
“The money for the sign was taken out of the budget for the runway improvement project.
Try not to think of that the next time you fly O_O
2.Burmashave,
Not only the muffler bearing manufacturing sector,
but tire beads, johnson rods, blinker fluid jobs account for millions(i)
of jobs createdorsaved! God Bless America!!
3,500,000i? Come on now; be rational.
Great title with the imaginary number. Now that’s Science!
It makes sense if you realize he means jobs in China.
Jobs saved = people who didn’t get laid off.
Is it telling that we now measure success by counting the things Obama didn’t screw up?
Hey look everyone, the emperor has no jobs!