Archive of entries posted on 5th November 2010

IMAO Podcast Reruns (03-09-06)

Posted by on

Episode 22, from 03-09-06 is now available.

NOTE: Each podcast is self-contained, so you won’t be lost if you haven’t listened to them all, or in order. Jump in anytime.

* Introduction
* Spacemonkey in New York
* Harvey: Fun Facts About Massachusetts Part 1
* Laurence Simon’s Crappy Bedtime Story: PeTA
* Harvey: Fun Facts About Massachusetts Part 2
* World of Knowledge with Frank J: Ports
* American Monkey with Spacemonkey: New Olympic Sports
* Laurence Simon: Art
* IMAO goes quail hunting
* Harvey: Cheney’s press conference
* Sarah K on American Idol: The Kelly Pickler Interview
* FrankJ: Focus on Family
* Conclusion

DISCLAIMER: I offer no guarantees as to the quality of the audio or of the material. Listen at your own risk.

Enjoy the show.

Valour-IT Update

Posted by on

The Valour-IT fundraiser is still going on. Team Marines (which I’m on) is slightly ahead of Team Army, and they need to keep it that way or everyone will think that the Army is better than the Marines.

So please give generously. Unless you hate the troops… especially injured ones.

Modernity or Monkeys

Posted by on

Red-bottomed monkeys are plotting to attack President Obama! It is unknown how their bottoms got so red, but what is known is they are terrorists.

India is on the case, though. The country is trying to modernize and wants respect, so the last thing they want is the leader of the free world to come for a visit and then get bit by a monkey. No one would take them seriously ever again.

Which raises the question of why they have monkeys in the first place? If you recall, the first thing the European settlers did in North America (after giving all the natives hugs and candy) was kill all the moneys. And that’s why there are no monkeys in North America, and also why the U.S. is the greatest nation on earth — there are no monkeys to hold it back. At some point, India has to make this decision themselves. Do they want to be a modern country, or do they want the monkey god Hanuman? What exactly does a monkey god give you anyway? I assume it’s more monkeys. You don’t want those.

AARP, Obamacare, and karma

Posted by on

Remember when Obamacare was being considered by the Congress? And AARP was supporting it? And all the supporters said how much it would make everything better and how it would get prices under control and it would be just so awesome?

Well, now AARP has sent information to its employees saying that their insurance was going up … because of Obamacare:

In an e-mail to employees, AARP says health care premiums will increase by 8 percent to 13 percent next year because of rapidly rising medical costs.

And AARP adds that it’s changing copayments and deductibles to avoid a 40 percent tax on high-cost health plans that takes effect in 2018 under the law. … Shifting costs to employees lowers the value of a health care plan and acts like an escape hatch from the tax.

To be honest, I don’t mind those that supported Obamacare getting bit in the ass by Obamacare — they are such big asses, after all.

I like laughing at stupid people. It’s fun.

Oh, and AARP? Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

My Letter to Obama

Posted by on

Call me old fashioned, but I wrote a letter to President Obama the other day and sent it through regular old snail mail. Here’s what I sent him.

Dear Mr. President,

You seem to be having a lot of trouble in the presidency, and I want to help you out. Included with this letter is the classifieds from a newspaper and I circled all the jobs I think you might be better at than president. Also, I mailed with this a brochure for this nice home that I think Joe Biden would like. It has a bridge club.

Hope everything works out well!

Cordially,
Frank J.

And here’s the reply I got:

Now I know where you live.

I guess it’s a form letter.

Did Liberals Take My Advice From Two Years Ago?

Posted by on

I had forgotten all about it, but right after Democrats took power in January 2009, I wrote a post on advice for them now that liberals were in power. I originally wrote it for Jonah Goldberg who was going on NPR to talk about the subject, but he didn’t end up using any of it because he’s stupid. Anyway, I think it’s worth revisiting as a postmortem. Basically, liberals didn’t follow any of it, but here’s the one they seemed to have the most trouble with:

If the American people turn against your policies, don’t just shout, “I know better than you, you inbred, sky fairy-worshiping hillbillies!” That hardly ever helps.

That’s probably the crux of their problem right there. I probably should have all mentioned not dismissing concerns using analogies about ditches and Slurpees, but they probably wouldn’t have listened to that either. Anyway, I guess I’ll try again with some more advice when they wind up in the situation again decades from now.

Random Thoughts

Posted by on

Now that I have a daughter, does that mean I finally have to figure out what exactly “Dora the Explorer” is?

I’m a little surprised by all the Dora hate. Getting a kid to me just means an excuse to finally watch SpongeBob.

Maybe we can make a compromise with liberals and get them to treat a black conservative as 3/5ths a true minority.

If Obama was ever turned into a zombie, I’d say, “Your head is shovel ready!” and hit him in the head with a shovel.

For the record, I sincerely hope Obama is never turned into a zombie.

I wish Alan Grayson would demand a recount. That would be fun to revisit.

Bob Etheridge was tricked into attacking kids! One of them had a “Strangle Me” sign on his back!

In the Middle East, does Tony the Tiger need to keep clarifying that he’s not saying that Frosted Flakes are better than Allah? “Frosted Flakes Akbar!”

According to Twitter, I am similar to Jim Treacher and Andy Levy. They wish!

Half of the stimulus money will go towards funding Obama’s trip to India.

Obama’s trip to India is so expensive he’ll have to sell one of the auto companies just to pay for snacks.

Obama will be accompanied by a thousand warships when he goes to India to make sure no one bothers him when he eats waffles.

This election sent a clear message to both parties that one party is better than the other.

It always creeps me out the way Obama winks at the camera whenever he promises not to murder us.

So Darwin figured out natural selection by observing birds but never once looked in a mirror and rethought the massive beard?

Saw Waiting for Superman. Thought the way they fixed the schools in the end by flying around the earth really fast was a bit of a copout.