[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.
NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.
This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:
Or, if your caption would work better without that one guy looking down:
I say Kris for knowing the term for an adult insect.
What say you?
PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.
#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.
MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.
STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.
Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.
So what exactly is the argument that Obama isn’t a hugely incompetent failure? So far it’s “Look! Over there! A war on women!”
* In a recent poll, two-thirds want the individual mandate in Obamacare to be scrapped. Freedom is pretty popular in this country; who knew? It’s certainly must have taken Obama by surprise. “People don’t want the government to force people to do stuff? Then why’d they even elect me?”
* Biden said something, which is always entertaining. Speaking of Obama deciding to go after Osama bin Laden, Biden said, “You can go back 500 years. You cannot find a more audacious plan.” Yeah, they thought bin Laden was there, so they went in and got him. Pretty audacious. Perhaps most audacious thing ever. And all because of Obama. When he was told they thought they knew where Osama was, they asked Obama, “So should we go get him?” Obama could have answered “No” or “Maybe”, but instead, he went with, “Yes.”
Audacious.
Of course, this is common boasting. At the same fundraiser, Biden said, “During my vice presidency, I swear I’ve eaten more Cheetos than ANYONE EVER HAS IN 500 YEARS!”
* Video has surfaced of Eric Holder saying that they need to “brainwash” people to be anti-gun. Have liberals ever succeeded in brainwashing anyone other than themselves, though? They repeat something enough times, they convince themselves it’s a great idea and everyone supports it, but they seem to have a lot of trouble with the rest of the country such as with Obamacare.
And with Occupy Wall Street, regular washing would be much more effective.
* As gas prices continue to rise, I think I’ve figured out Obama’s energy plan:
PHASE 1: Keep Americans from drilling for more oil.
PHASE 2: Wish really hard.
PHASE 3: Green energy!
BTW, the wishing really hard costs billions of dollars and sometimes sets houses on fire.
* While at the University of Chicago, Romney said, “I don’t see how a young American can vote for a Democrat.” His point was how the Democrats just keep leaving young people more and more debt to pay. It’s a pretty good point; if Obama gets a second term, how many more trillions will be left for the nation’s youth to deal with? Of course, young people vote overwhelming for the Democrats. Why? Because they’re stupid. Ah, stupid people, the backbone of the Democratic Party. The only advantage Republicans have is that stupid people are also often lazy and thus don’t get out to vote.
* Here’s Crowder with a great video on Mixed Martial Arts, unions, New York State, and freedom:
Maybe to solve this, we just need to punch more hippies. Now, does the MMA know anyone good at punching…
Carney to reporters: hope you watch new movie about Obama 1st term “many times.” They might. Look at “Titanic” box office numbers.
* The average teen is said to send and receive sixty text messages a day. When did communication devolve into this? We used to be able to talk with actual voice to people at a distance, but now all teens want to do is send short messages. I’m going to try and bring back the telegraph and market it to teens; it seems like the next logical step.
I don’t get the Prius Game of Life ad that appears to be making fun of the sort of people who would buy a Prius.
Prediction: The Denver Broncos will have a bad season and be hit by seven plagues.
In the Hunger Games, Katniss is a very strong female protagonist forced to overcome having to pay for her own contraception.
What was the logic behind the Biden VP pick? “He’s been in the Senate forever; he must know something.”
There exists no one so dumb they couldn’t be a mediocre Senator.
The crux of a Senator is voting yes or no. If you’re not sure, your party will tell you what to do. You could LITERALLY have a dog do it.
You tell me someone has been a Senator for 30 years, I wouldn’t take it as proof that person is competent enough to tie his own shoes.
The reason so many of the liberals’ arguments are so awful is that they operate under the false assumption that other people are dumber than them. “This wouldn’t quite fool me, but if I were someone who found NASCAR entertaining, I bet it would be pretty compelling.”
Obama voted “present” so many times because he thought that meant someone would give him a present. It never happened. It made him cynical.
They should have Biden stop speaking at political events so he can better spend his time coming up with a cure for cancer.
I’d really like to encourage this sort of loose-cannon, rogue-cop-who-plays-by-his-own-rules behavior, and High Praise! somehow doesn’t seem to cover it.
I’m personally hoping the answer is “yes,” because – like any group targeted by hate speech – we must “take back” the words that our victimizers use against us.
Liberals should be all about supporting the troops now, and I expect them to act really offended if a Muslim uses the “I-word,” but just shrug it off if an actual I-word uses the I-word.
Weird things about this article:
1) There’s only one tiny, blurry, possibly-photoshopped, picture of a uniformed soldier wearing a “Pork Eating Crusader” patch, and he’s German.
2) They waste no time bringing up “the Koran burnings, the urination video, and the killing of 16 civilians”. Yes, those things are precisely equivalent to a swatch of self-deprecating embroidery.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
UPDATE 8PM: In case you feel the need for I-word gear [High Praise! to NO_MO_BAMA]:
NEW YORK (AP) – After documents taken from bin Laden’s compound by U.S. forces on May 2, the night he was killed, showed that his US-born media adviser, Adam Gadahn, considered Fox News inferior to other TV news organizations, Fox News Channel CEO Roger Ailes issued a press release apologizing for the cable news giant’s unsatisfactory performance.
Roger Ailes – ‘We must find more ways to appeal to this rapidly-exploding demographic.’
Discussing what would be the best television outlets for a bin Laden anniversary video, Gadahn said, “It should be sent for example to ABC, CBS, NBC, and CNN and maybe PBS and VOA. As for Fox News let her die in her anger.” At another point, he said of the networks: “From a professional point of view, they are all on one level – except (Fox News) channel, which falls into the abyss as you know, and lacks objectivity, too.”
In response, Fox News Channel CEO Roger Ailes issued the following statement of apology:
“We at Fox News Channel are deeply concerned by reports that certain associates of the late Osama bin Laden have been disappointed by their experiences with the Fox News team, and wish to offer our sincerest apologies.”
“With sadness, we must admit that you are correct: we are not on the same level as ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN and maybe PBS and VOA. Like James Cameron’s planned expedition to the Marianas Trench, there are obviously levels to which we have not yet sunk.”
“There also remain legitimate questions about our objectivity. By way of contrition, we shall endeavor in the future to attack all targets equally without regard to innocence, guilt, or political affiliation. Like a ball-bearing-filled suicide-vest.”
“And finally, we wish to express our heartfelt regret over what America has done to you over the last decade. Specifically, letting you live long enough to see yourself so cruelly misrepresented in the American press. We will put every resource at our command into supporting the immediate correction of this egregious oversight.”
Signed by Roger Ailes, the press release also contained a short postscript
“P.S. If it makes you feel any better, we don’t consider MSNBC to be a news organization, either.”
* Puerto Rico had its primary over the weekend, and Mitt Romney won it with 83.4% of the vote. Rick Santorum, who also campaigned in Puerto Rico, came in second with 7.7%. Maybe he would have done better if he hadn’t traveled over there to tell them to speak English.
Anyway, still no end to this primary. Our nominee is going to be Mitt Romney, but we still have to do this dance a while longer. I now hate primaries.
* The Supreme Court will soon hear arguments on Obamacare. This will be a case about whether the government can just arbitrarily force you to buy stuff, i.e., it will be a case on whether the Constitution’s limitation of the federal government means anything at all.
If Obamacare is upheld by the Supreme Court, look on the bright side: We can start thinking up all the things we want to force liberals to buy next time conservatives are in power. You don’t have to bitterly cling to guns and the Bible, but you do have to own them.
* The RNC has released a video on Obama’s War on Women:
Liberals have this idea that if they repeat something enough and hear other liberals in their insular groups repeat the same thing, then they’ve convinced the whole country of something. That’s pretty much what’s gone on with their silly “War on Women” charges; with how they’re trying to equate not being able to force people to buy contraceptives with a ban on contraceptives, I find it better characterized as a “War on Good Faith Arguments.” And I just find it very dishonest with liberals pretend to care about something other than their inane politics.
I grew to hate “Killing” so much I am going to stand by my TV during the 2nd season, turn off the set, and actively NOT WATCH IT.
* So, what’s everyone sense of things for the 2012 presidential election? Do you think Obama will be reelected, or do you think the fact that everyone knows he’s not very good at being president — or any sort of leader — will be too much of a hindrance for him?
My first thought was “there’s gotta be a ‘dinosaurs with rocket launchers’ joke in here somewhere.”
Or ANY kind of joke, for that matter (the original Demovtivational caption was pretty weak).
I’m not having much luck. Thought I’d give you guys at crack at this thing.
UPDATE: Per Svenn Diagram’s comment, this is from a relatively new Australian show called “Danger 5“. Here’s part 1 of the first episode (no dinosaurs, they come in during episode 3):
Some days I really miss the crazy antics of Iraq’s Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, a.k.a Baghdad Bob.
Why?
To quote Wikipedia:
He is best known for his grandiose and grossly unrealistic propaganda broadcasts prior to and during the war, extolling the invincibility of the Iraqi Army and the permanence of Saddam’s rule. His announcements were intended for an Iraqi domestic audience subject to Saddam’s cult of personality and total state censorship, and were met with widespread derision and amusement by Western nationals and others with access to up-to-date information from international media organizations.
In short, he was a hoot & a half.
For those similarly afflicted with nostalgia, The People’s Cube and the Obama administration have got you covered:
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Celebrating once again – on its special day – the country that Americans only care about once a year because it’s a great excuse to get drunk.
______________
FUN FACTS ABOUT IRELAND
* Ireland is slightly larger than the state of West Virginia. However, in Ireland, impoverished mountain folk are known as “hillrileys”
* All Irish citizens are required by law to make a bizarre pilgrimmage to Dublin once a year, crawling on their bellies while balancing a full glass of Guinness on their head.
* The average life expectancy for men in Ireland is 75 years. At 76, the crystal in their hand starts flashing red. Carousel!
* 88% of the Irish are members of the Roman Catholic Church, making the Catholic population nearly as large as the Kennedys.
* Ireland’s #1 agricultural product is turnips, which the nation switched to after the country’s potato crop was devastated by a visiting Michael Moore on a french-fry binge.
* There are 36 airports in Ireland, all suitable for night-flight landings thanks to the plethora of neon “Jameson” bar signs lighting the runways.
* Catherine Kelly was the smallest Irish woman ever, only 34 inches tall. She died in 1785 in the electric chair after mudering 137 people while screaming “leprechaun jokes aren’t funny!”
* And before you ask, no, they never found her pot of gold, smartass.
* According to one rather obscure Irish legend, a ringing in your ears means a deceased friend stuck in Purgatory is ringing a bell to ask for you to pray for him. Or you’re an idiot who forgot to remove your bluetooth earpiece.
* Montgomery Street in Dublin was once the largest red light district in all of Europe, with over 1600 prostitutes plying their trade. Most of them insisted you should pronounce their name to rhyme with “book”.
* In the olden days, a pig was often allowed to live in the house with the family on an Irish farm. He was commonly referred to as “the gentleman who pays the rent.” Modern Irish immigrant families usually just called him “Teddy”.
* A single day of good weather that pops up in a long stretch of bad days is known in Ireland as a “pet day”, and is celebrated with binge-drinking, dancing, and raucous music. As are all other days containing weather.
* “Keening” is the Irish version of loud crying at wakes. It involves wailing and expressing endearments in Gaelic to the deceased. Although similar, it should not be confused with its more annoying cousin, “bagpiping.”
* Dublin was originally called “Dubh Linn,” which means “Black Pool”, although they had considered naming it “Marbh Linn” after the 5th and best Dirty Harry movie.
