Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Michelle Obama will be at the Olympics…
Archive of entries posted on July 2012
Why Are Anti-Gun People So Illogical?
Mayor Bloomberg suggested that cops should maybe go on strike so people will want more gun control — since, you know, not having cops around will make people want to defend themselves less.
The anti-gun crowd has numerous extremely illogical arguments (“Making a school a gun free zone will prevent people from shooting up schools!” and “People who disregard laws on murder will listen to laws banning guns!”), but why is that? Well, why do they have an obsession with guns instead of other things that kill people? Cars kill way more people than guns (and they’re not even designed for killing!), and after each tragic automobile death, it would be just as easy to propose some law to perhaps make accidents less likely or perhaps require more training for cars and make them harder to obtain. But the anti-gun crowd never react to automobile deaths that way because they don’t actually care about people dying; they’re irrationally fearful and obsessed with guns. And since the anti-gun impulse isn’t based on logic but just an incoherent fear, the arguments about it of course aren’t very logical.
Many people are wondering why we aren’t having a gun control debate. That’s because we already had it and the freedom side won. The only thing left is to get the anti-gun people the psychological help they need.
Random Thoughts: Guns and Soda
Note for media unfamiliar with firearms: A semi-automatic gun fires one bullet for each trigger pull. Same as a revolver.
Re: Bloomberg, can’t someone just put up a sign in city hall that says, “You must be this tall to be a fascist.”
It’s yet more evidence that our country has lost its way that Mike Bloomberg isn’t being slapped constantly.
I’m going to drink a 17oz soda while shooting stuff. Like an American.
Yep; it’s true. Once you pass 10,000 Twitter followers, your life begins to have some semblance of meaning to it.
The difference between risking your money and a politician risking other people’s money is the difference between an actual war and Call of Duty.
Stop interpreting Obama’s statement as an extreme anti-business remark when it was merely a mild anti-business remark!
It’s getting easier to see Obama as a supervillain. “You didn’t build this… but I’ll destroy it!”
Obama: “I didn’t say that. Somebody else made that be said.”
Cars kill way more people than guns, yet no effort to make cars harder to get. So why the focus on guns? Because of pants-wetting sissies.
If you’re actually concerned about people being tragically killed, guns shouldn’t be on the top of your list. If.
Anti-gun people need to ask why the obsession with guns and none of the other potentially preventable causes of tragic death. Only then can they get to the root of the irrational fear and perhaps approach the issue more logically.
It’s a Bicycle – Made Completely Out of Wood
“No bolts or screws, just wood and glues!”
Thing is, the guy didn’t build it to save the planet from global warming. He built it because his friend bet him he couldn’t.
Which is, in my experience, the best reason for a man to do anything.
Oodles more background & whatnot at SplinterBike.co.uk, including a video that includes about 10 seconds of footage at the end of this freakshow vehicle actually being ridden.
The Ultimate Rebuttal to Obama’s “You Didn’t Build That”
[High Praise! to Third World County]
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #424,844)
Oh my, what I wouldn’t give to hear Romney say something like this.
I Think It’s Obama’s Facial Expression That Makes This One Work so Well
Could a Flashlight Have Stopped the Batman Shooter?
Probably not.
But could it have disabled his vision long enough for the person using it to make an escape?
Possibly.
I’ll let the video tell the story [NOTE: I’ve cropped out the pointless intro and pointless epilogue where he starts swearing for no reason.]
Personally, I’ll add that if you’re using a flashlight to blind an assailant, you’ll probably want to hold it at arms length, off to the side, using your non-dominant hand, on the off chance that it’s not bright enough to disorient your assailant and he shoots at it.
You’ve Been Judged!
Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “President Obama went shopping…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
Link of the Day: The Poem That Encapsulates Obama’s Campaign
[High Praise! to The Astute Bloggers]
I can’t really excerpt this. Suffice it to say it’s only about a 60-second read, and it fits Obama perfectly.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Yeah, But Good Luck Getting High Praise! From Fox News
According to Doug Ross [High Praise!], IMAO is the 135th most awesome right-wing site on the internet.
However, IMAO is still the #1 right-wing site that has official gang colors.
Come on Fox, let’s rumble.
_______________
UPDATE: Ha! Fox will never win THIS award!:
lolbama! Part 94
Submit entries to lolterizt@gmail.com
Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.
NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.
From Kris:
From :
[reference link]
My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:
From Arik:
From Arik:
From Arik:
From jb:
[reference link]
From jb:
From jb:
From jb:
From Kris:
From Travelwise42:
This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with [High Praise! to Mrs C]:
First, I have to say I’m surprised that no one pointed out Obama’s complete lack of a reflection.
Anyway, for the Obscury, either jb for having sat through “The Dark Crystal” or Kris for his encyclopedic knowledge of ancient Simpsons Halloween episodes.
What say you?
PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.
#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.
MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.
STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.
Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.
Wisdom of the Day: Homeless Murdered Ironically
From Basil:
Just saw a homeless person pushing a shopping cart and wearing a Barack Obama shirt. It just seemed appropriate.
From Emily Miller:
Twice as many people murdered in 2010 from getting beat up as from “assault rifles”, according to FBI. Outlaw fists?
From Political Math:
Ironically, I’m far more likely to keep my religion to myself when atheists don’t tell me to do so.
Thank Obama He Didn’t Have to Do This on His Own
Metaphor of the Day: How a Government Stimulus Program Works
Lots & lots of exciting activity, but in the end, not a damn thing accomplished.
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #1,047,367)
Alternate titles for this post:
“I don’t care how nerdy it makes me, I think these are awesome!”
and
“Go amuse yourself, cat.”