Archive of entries posted on July 2012

What Is It with Americans and Guns?

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They’re is a lot of navel gazing about guns right now, but I liked the question asked at the beginning of this CNN article: “What is it about American and guns?”

I figured we might as well try and answer it.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT AMERICANS AND GUN?

* We’re awesome.

* We’re not a bunch of cravens.

* There are a lot of things we need to put holes in and sometimes they’re at a distance.

* We don’t immediately surrender all our liberty every time there is a loud noise.

* They’re shiny (we like shiny things).

* It is the weapon of civilized man.

* Just kind of like the way the weight feels in your hand.

* They’re a hedge investment again zombie apocalypse.

* They make fun loud noises.

* Diving for cover while waving two daggers just looks stupid.

* We feel safer having freedom than politicians’ empty promises.

What is it with you and guns?

Random Thoughts: “Tell Me Again About the Government Spending, George”

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A no gun policy for a building is counter-productive if there isn’t a metal detector to find guns on those who don’t follow rules. Really. Disarming people based on the honor system — who is going to follow that?

The new book title needs updating on my Wikipedia page. I don’t know whose job it is to fix that, but get on it.

The left has successfully convinced me it would be very dangerous to give them firearms.

Obama loves jobs like Lenny loved puppies.

Every time you eat one of their sandwiches, Chik-fil-A murders a gay person… but not anyone you know and they’re very good sandwiches.

Good question: If Obama is Lenny, then who is Biden? Most politicians are Lennys.

Obama to veterans: “You didn’t destroy that! Government made those roads and bridges you blew up.”

Has Penn State football won any games since 1997? I can’t remember.

I can’t eat at Chik-fil-A because I’m gluten-free along with my wife, so y’all stop talking about it.

Kind of like Godwin’s law, the more sequels a movie franchise has, the probability one will take place in space approaches 1.

Arya Stark from the Game of Thrones books is like the 9-year-old girl version of Sam Fisher.

So David Frum is anti-gun? I guess Meghan McCain is more of a real conservative than he is.

Finally! A Good Use for Twitter

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I’m a Man, I’m 41 [High Praise!] has started a new Twitter hashtag:

The hash tag is not for the bible verse of the day, funny pics, cute chicks etc. It is to aid in getting out info faster than than our enemies, so it should be used as an alert.
[…]
PLEASE BE SCANNING TWITTER FOR THIS TAG UNTIL AFTER THE ELECTION!

If you come across election changing information in any of the 2012 races, #BURN2012 it with the tag on Twitter.
[…]
Blogging Unreported Right News 2012 — #BURN2012

Not to be confused with the official campaign hashtag of that 104-year-old nuclear power plant owner, #BURNS2012

Is This One of Obama’s Doodles?

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During an interview with WJLA-TV, President Obama said “I’m also a pretty good doodler, folks don’t know that about me,” when asked what people don’t know about him. “I do all kinds of things. Faces, people,” Obama added.

I’m pretty sure I’ve found one of Obama’s doodles. I’ve been unable to verify it’s authenticity, but I saw some guy named Barak Odama on Facebook once, and if “close enough” is good enough for ABC, then it’s good enough for me:

Link of the Day: Obama’s New Campaign Strategy Can’t Possibly Fail

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[High Praise! to Innominatus]

Behind the scenes at the White House:

Barry batty campaign strategy

Excerpt:

Scene: Obama in meeting with his campaign staff. Cabinet members, Czars, and anybody with a role in actual governance notably absent, though they can be seen through the windows playing beer-croquet on the lawn.

[Obama] “I don’t see what’s so bad about what I said the other day. It’s the truth.”

[Axelrod, vexed] “Dammit! That’s exactly what’s so bad! Truth undermines everything we’re trying to do. Truth is toxic. This is another Joe the Plumber moment and it could cripple us. Remember: Never Tell the Truth. K?”

[Obama] “But they really didn’t build those things! They didn’t build the roads. They didn’t build the schools. They didn’t build the teachers. They didn’t build the fiber-optic networks that carry the cold air to their air conditioning. They didn’t do anything except win life’s lottery.”

[Plouffe] “We know all that. But you can’t say all that. We, unlike most, are smart enough to know it takes a village to run a taco wagon, but we have to let the people think they’re important and that they’re accomplishing something.”

[Obama] “But I’m just reiterating what Elizabeth Warren has been saying.”

[Axelrod] “She can say stuff like that. She’s running for state-wide office in a very blue state. She doesn’t have to worry about cheesing off the independents. You do. You just don’t have enough Cherokee blood in you to make a line like that work.”

[Obama] “Neither does Elizabeth Warren!”

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

When You Say “Tea Party”, This Is What Liberals Picture

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[via Engrish Funny]

Original caption:

‘Murika was founded in 1636 by Jesus Christ, along with a colony of approximately 200 angels. But they weren’t them sissy angels with the little feathery wings. These were like badass Harley ridin’ angels that could spit fire and turn water into Coors Light.

According to the poster, “this is a teacher at my school, he is just joking around with his students.”

No indication who the butt of this particular joke is supposed to be. If it’s newly citizenized immigrants with more enthusiasm than spelling skills, I’m amused. If it’s supposed to represent a Tea Partier, I am less so.

Unless he’s doing it ironically, in which case, I thought Frank J’s hair was darker.

Why Is #OccuChat Trending on Twitter?

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I assume it’s because #OverPrivilegedFlunkingWhiteTrustFundCollegeStudents is too long.

Still, I can’t help noticing that, like everything else the left does on Twitter, #OccuChat is getting pwned by Conservatives.

For Example:

TheLeftFails @theleftfails

Who else has a degree in Renaissance Armpit Hair Braiding that’s having a hard time finding a job? #OccuChat

Might as well pile on:
______________

Just found out what Democracy smells like #B.O.2012 #OccuChat

* Bought a new bongo on Craigslist & bongoed right through it on day 1. Capitalism has failed! #OccuChat

* Dudes – gonna be late for the rally. Volt’s on fire again #OccuChat

* I’m gonna be late, too. Hit another blind guy in the parking lot with my Prius. Why don’t they look where I’m going? #OccuChat

* @JesusRodriguez I was at an Obama rally, trying to eat the rich, but they took away my fork #OccuChat

* I was going to burn an American flag, but when I touched it, I burst into flames. I hadn’t lit it yet. #OccuChat

* Bloomberg has the right response to James Holmes, who had a 32oz soda beforehand. #16ounceTruth #OccuChat

* @SustainableRainbow – no, it’s cool. iPhones are made by INDIGENOUS Chinese slave labor. #OccuChat

* Dudes – gonna be late. Genital piercing caught in my bike chain #DontAsk #OccuChat

* My kid lost a molar. Should I have the tooth fairy give him money for it, or is that homophobic? #OccuChat

* I love Occupy rallies, but I think I may need help with my pepper spray addiction now. #12steps #OccuChat
______________

Exit question: is it still an Occupy movement if 99% of the people using #OccuChat are convulsively-giggling Tea Partiers?

Reelecting Obama Would Be a Mockery of Democracy

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So US poverty is on track to be at its highest level since the 1960s. With that little tidbit and all the other things — the credit downgrade, the continued high unemployment, the skyrocketing debt — makes we really wonder why in the world are we even considering reelecting Obama at all? I mean, he’s as big an objective failure as president as possible, so why is he even a contender? The whole point of a democracy is being able to remove bad leaders, so why should Obama have a chance when he’s the sort of horrible leader usually only dictatorships are subjected to (and even there, he probably wouldn’t last long)? When the story of the 2012 election is written in the history books, it should be just one sentence:

Obama wasn’t reelected as he wasn’t a very good president.

Why shouldn’t it be that simple? Otherwise, what’s the point of electing leaders?

I Think It Looks like Chris Matthews

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[High Praise! to Magniflorious Phule]

If you go to this site, a little face watches your mouse cursor move around. This would be Chris Matthews watching Fox News:

Now left click your mouse, and the face changes to Chris Matthews tuning in to an Obama speech.

Next, turn up your speakers a little, left click and hold. Keep holding. Just keep holding…

There you have Chris Matthews, in real time, as his leg just keeps getting more and more thrilled.

Alternatively, it could be Brian Ross after he found the name “Jim Holmes” on a Colorado Tea Party web site.