The new job numbers have come out. They are not good. Only 80,000 jobs were added, and unemployment remains unchanged at 8.2% – 10.9% if the labor force were the same size as when Obama took office.
Three and half years later, this apparently is still all Bush’s fault as Obama is completely impotent as president. I mean, he’s just a useless slug. We should have just elected a sack of potatoes for all the good that Obama could do for the economy. At least that’s Obama’s argument as he still doesn’t think it’s right to judge him on the economy. If I really sucked at something, I wouldn’t want to be judged on it either. Anyway, it’s time for some new slogans for the Obama campaign knowing that we’re going to continue to have a bad economy:
“You want jobs. I taxed people who don’t have insurance. That’s similar.”
“Maybe jobs are doing bad, but hobbies are doing okay.”
“You don’t deserve a good economy.”
“For those of you who hate having an overbearing boss, you’re welcome.”
“Why are you all so obsessed with money?”
“Gas is too high for you to afford to drive to work anyway.”
“Did you like Avengers? I liked the movie Avengers just like you did.”
“Well, I’m doing pretty well financially, so I don’t know what you’re all doing wrong.”
Hey buddy, I like potatoes. How dare you compare potatoes to something as revolting as Obama!
Frank, there is a new book out that mentions IMAO and your Nuke the Moon post.
Its called Electrified Sheep and is about different wierd science experiments. It has a chapter on all the previous scientists and generals who wanted to nuke the moon and talks about your post in that section.
“Well, yeah…but my golf game has improved tremendously!”
I mean, he’s just a useless slug.
He’s far worse than a useless slug. A useless slug would not have banned offshore drilling, would not have obstructed the construction of a pipeline
from Canada across the United States, and would not have proposed the “Affordable” (ha!) Care Act. If a slug ran against Obama for any elective
office whatsoever, I would vote for the slug. Since I was born in Cook County, I would probably vote for the slug multiple times.
New Obama slogan: SQUIRREL!
New Obama campaign slogan: “America’s much safer because we bundled 10,000 jobs with each assault weapon exported to Mexico.”
“All your jobs are belong to us”
Slogan for his base: “Almost there”
Slogan for the independents: “Baby, come back”
Slogan for Hollywood types: “The Choice of Super Smart People”
New Obama Slogan
Re-election slogan: “Much like all those dead Mexicans from Fast And Furious, you are all just collateral damage.”
“Being president is hard. I mean, come on.”
“So they’re all: ‘it’s a tax’, and I’m like: ‘nuh-uh”
“Consti-what?”
“Everybody! Line up! Hire the guy to your right.”
“We’re working up a number 6 on Romney.”
“Jobs suck anyway. Try putting up with Biden all day.”
“Michelle can totally beat down Ann Romey”
“Tea Partiers are bogarting all the jobs. You just gonna let em do that?”
“I fart in your general direction”
“Bitter white people cling to their jobs like their guns and bible.”
“You’re entitled to a life without a job.”
“You have a job: re-electing me!”
“New Jobs? Th…th…th…th…th…thats All Folks!”
I promised you Job, the Book of Job from the Bible ya ninnies, but with all this separation of church and state even that is above my pay grade. So how is that Ho P.E. working out, ya mammas getting in shape yet?
it’s not high unemployment and shrinking labor force, it’s increased leisure time to spend with your family, so re-elect me and choom out.
– obama
“You don’t need a job as long as someone else has money that can be redistributed more fairly.”
Slogan for a Bad Economy President: “Yeah, yeah… I’m kicking myself for wasting my vote, too.”
This is for springeraz……..
Biden: I got it! I got it!
Obama: You do?
Biden: We’ll work up a Number 6 on Romney.
Obama: [frowns] “Number 6”? I’m afraid I’m not familiar with that one.
Biden: Well, that’s where we go a-ridin’ into the Romney Camp, a-whompin’ an a-whumpin’ an a taxin’ every livin’ thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.
Obama: You spare the women?
Biden: Naw, we tax the sh*t out of them at the Number Six Dance later on.
Obama: Marvelous
At least a sack of potatoes can be used to make awesome potato salad. Obama ain’t good for nothing.
But he’s got his coalition: “rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, b*ggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull d**es, train robbers, bank robbers, a**-kickers, s**t-kickers and Methodists.”
(His coalition might get moderated…)
Asterisks to the rescue!
Speaking of awesome potato salad… I’m the King Of Spuds! (and ussjimmycarter is a Methodist, Mxymaster, so expect a snappy comeback from his huge r’epertoire sometime between now and 2013).