Straight Line of the Day: Bill Clinton Offered Obama Some Advice…
“from America’s first black President to America’s first gay President – just ask them to define the word ‘is’ and while they’re distracted sell missile technology to the Chinese for reelection campaign money!”
…a sex scandal with a chubby intern can distract them from your real crimes.
…only feed Hillary once a day, and just let her drink out of the toilet.
…and it made Obama miss his putt.
…and Obama took it and lost.
Use a condom – even if it’s not sex.
…let the Republicans fix the economy *before* taking credit for it.
Always pay for the dry cleaning
and then added – even if it doesn’t lead to a divorce its still worth trying
…”Candy is dandy, but liquor is quick’r!”
…and a blue dress.
Deny. Deny. Deny!
No, she shouldn’t actually blow, that’s just a figure of speech.
(HT to Saturday Night Live and Chevy Chase)
‘Wag the dog’ has nothing to do with your afternoon snack.
Clinton: I just want to say one word to you. Just one word.
Obama: Yes, sir.
Clinton: Are you listening?
Obama: Yes, I am.
Clintont: Plastics!
…stay married to the mean, ugly one, and get some on the side.
“Let me tell you a story about a guy named Vince Foster.”
Hey buddy, I hear you’ve been having some fundraising problems? I want to introduce you to my good friend Yah Lin Trie. You can call him “Charlie.”
… Well, it depending on what your definition of “advice” is.
… “NO you idiot! I didn’t say BE a pain; I said say you FEEL their pain. OY!”
… and told him to start drinking at 7 am because he’ll be darned if it makes a bit of difference.
…and don’t move back to Chicago, these days…it’s worse than Mogadishu.
…when you throw the stick, and she doesn’t bring it back, you can get away with a Big Mac attack!
…get an intern that has prospects.
… pretend that club is john boehner. See on the green everytime!
… let’s switch to winter rules; you need to improve your lie.
you should have stuck to serving us coffee (http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0110/Teddys_anger.html)
…since everybody knows I was the first black president, you can’t be 1st but you can be next!
you gotta find something bigger … a cigar with Michelle is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. I mean, look at those hips!
. . . you can fool some of the people some of the time, and that was good enough for me.
…never drink too much at Barney Frank’s soirees.
…always count the silverware after Nancy visits. She likes to spread the wealth around.
…”If things get rough, Fort Marcy Park is just around the corner.”
if it looks like you’re going to lose, you can always retreat to your native Kenya.
Straight Line of the Day: Bill Clinton Offered Obama Some Advice…
“from America’s first black President to America’s first gay President – just ask them to define the word ‘is’ and while they’re distracted sell missile technology to the Chinese for reelection campaign money!”
…which is kinda funny as they both blame a bush for all their problems
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