So what’s the big problem with the Obama presidency? Well, Obama has put his finger on it: bad storytelling. Obama has realized the reason his first term hasn’t gone so well is that he didn’t “tell a story” of why he’s awesome despite the sucky economy. I don’t know how those stories would go.
“Once upon a time there were three little pigs. One built his house out of straw. Another built one out of twigs. And the other built a house out of bricks. And then the big bad wolf came and taxed them all for not having health insurance.”
“Snow White was known as the fairest woman throughout the realm, so she was immediately made president despite having no experience, and everyone lived happily ever after.”
“While Sleeping Beauty lay on the couch, the valiant Prince Obama delivered foodstamps to her.”
“Hansel and Gretel then found a house made of candy. Inside was Michelle Obama, who beat them up for wanting candy.”
“Little Red Riding Hood skipped through the forest toward Grandma’s house, but when she arrived, she found her Grandma gone, because the death panels had determined she was too costly.”
“And Rumpelstiltskin made a deal with her: She could keep her child if she could guess Obama’s middle name. And when she did, she was hauled off for being racist.”
“And Cinderella had to flee the ball before her golden carriage turned back into massive amounts of debt.”
“And the industrious ants got nothing, while the GM and union grasshoppers got $40 billion in cash from Uncle Obama’s stash.”
“It was a brand new day, and the Little Engine That Could tried to fire up his engine for another run at the mountain. But he had no coal since Obama killed the coal industry.”
“The Giant Middle Class chased after Jack Obama when he stole their Golden Egg Laying Prosperity. But Jack Obama chopped down the Beanstalk of Personal Freedom and Responsibility with his Obamacare Axe and the Giant Middle Class fell down so hard that it died.”
“Dorothy landed in Munchkin Land only to discover that the Great Wizard was Barack Obama who demanded she have an immediate abortion.”
So the ant worked hard all year gathering food while the grasshopper played. Then when winter came, the ant was snug in his home when suddenly the door burst open and in came an Occupy Anthill mob lead by Obama.
“You need to pay your fair share.” shouted Obama.
He then had his armed IRS agents take all the ant’s food and give it to the grasshopper. MSNBC and CNN kept running stories about how the ant was anti-insect until he had to leave town and go into hiding.
@silverfiddle…
sorry man. Didn’t mean to steal your story but was in the middle of mine when I had a phone call. Sheeesh! Work can be such a drag!
“The Itsy Bitsy Spider went up the water spout. Down came the rain and Obama’s EPA bureaucrats demanding that Spider show a permit for water spout use.”
(Frank, I’m not going to get any work done if you keep doing this!)
“Jack and Jill went up the Hill only to meet President Obama at the top riding a Unicorn that was sh!tting Skittles. They screamed and ran.”
Coffee shot out of my nose! Funniest thing I’ve read in a long time!
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Drinking her 32oz. soda and eating her curds and whey,
Along came Nanny Bloomberg and Michelle(who was wearing $500 sneakers)
And scolded Little Miss Muffet on her poor personal choices.
“Little Bo Peep Lost Her Sheep but found them in Michelle’s garden eating her Arugula. Mutton was served in the White House for weeks.”
He not only told fake stories about his life, he did it twice: “Dreams From My Father” and “The Audacity of Hope.”
I’m really enjoying this weeks Obama campaign attack blow up in their faces: The most secretive president in history is attacking Romney for running “the most secretive campaign in history”? Umm…this one’s going to get fun.
“Mares eat oats and does eat oats,
and little lambs eat ivy.
Obama eats dog.”
So he gets a soft ball question that all presidents get, and what does he answer with, jello. He can’t even give a good answer to this question all presidents have received.
“The crowd looked on pretending admiration. But a little boy pointed and shouted ‘King Obama has no clothes!’ Whereupon a Hellfire missile launched from a circling Predator drone incinerated the little boy and 14 other citizens.”
The President to Dorthy: Just try and stay out of my way. Just try! I’ll tax you, my pretty, and eat your little dog, too!
“Ignore that liar behind the
curtainteleprompter!!!”“See Spot.
See Spot run.
Run, Spot, run – the President is hungry!
“Eric Holder sat on a wall.
Eric Holder had a great fall.
All of Obama’s horses,
And all of Obama’s men,
Couldn’t but Holder together again.”
Rub a dub dub,
Three men in a tub,
And who do you think they be?
The Holder, the Biden,
The Obama bin Laden.
Soon to be chucked in the sea.