Russian TV only has one channel and it’s just a bear throwing grenades into a well.
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) February 27, 2013
My favorite question to ask at The Apple Store “Is anything here for sale?”
— jonathan katz (@jonathan_katz) February 27, 2013
Our nation’s been through tough times but historians agree things would be much worse had the Vespucci’s named their son Gaylord.
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) February 27, 2013
Search of the day:”registered sex offender warlock.”Worst dual-class ever.
— Popehat (@Popehat) February 27, 2013
“It’s not my cup of tea.” -guy who drank from the wrong tea
— Jon Friedman (@friedmanjon) February 28, 2013
I vote for a worst-expression-and-response-ever thread. I’ll start.
Expression: “Get your cotton-pickin’ hands off that!!”
Response: (*Removes finger from nose.*) “I haven’t been picking cotton.”
“What in Sam Hill are you doing?”
Thoracic surgeon: “None of your business.”
“What in Sam Hill are you doing?”
Teddy Roosevelt: “My bad, I thought it was San Juan Hill”
Expression: “Remember The Maine!”
Response: “A-Yah”
Expression: “Like shooting fish in a barrel”
Obama: “I do that all the time, too”
“Who the hell do you think you are?”
“What the Devil are you doing?”
Expression: “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”
Response: “OK, let’s pair the gander up with a nice, studly gander and see how long he takes to lay some eggs.”
Who’s your Papi?
Right now? No one, if you’re Catholic.
Well I know what I’m going to do today.
Spend the whole day getting DirecTv to include that Russian channel in their basic package.
I could watch that all day long.