Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The White House announced its new drones will be able to…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The White House announced its new drones will be able to…
…park one right up Kim Jong Un’s…… where the sun don’t ever shine.
…detect and take out people with drinks larger than 16 ounces.
…be more relevant than Aquaman
…tell if you voted Republican in any of the previous three elections.
…bow before they wipe someone off the map
…shoot hellfire missiles that are made out of pop tarts by second graders.
…determine if either Joe Biden or his shotgun is loaded.
…cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring!
Use Vulcan Mind Tricks
… link to the IRS database to help enforce the new tax codes.
… running the latest Helio Android Linux operating system.
… finally bring a final solution to the war on obesity.
distinguish between Conserviative GOP Senators and RINOs – by calculating the length
of their Fillibuster!
…to bring Obama a shrubbery…
…do the Kessel Run… in 12 parsecs… at warp factor 6.
…receive the Nobel Peace Prize
Approach any violent anti-American foreign leader and perform the famous Chief Executive Stop-Bow-and-Apologize maneuver. (Can also pause long enough for photo ops, boot kissing, and stupefyingly obsequious speeches)
…filibuser the senate.
(doh… thats)
filibuster the senate.
…drop the new sequester buster bomb
…wipe out the economy even faster now!
…open the pod bay doors for Dave. Maybe.
…keep up with Obama’s golf ball when he gets in the rough…
…to target animals by species. For example, deputy director W. E. Coyote has programmed one for road runners.
patrol without badges, they don’t need no stinkin’ badges.
…do the Harlem Shake.
…link to Obama’s Twitter page.
…show up on Google Maps with live video! Oooo! Oooo!
…respond to a White House petition.
…drop in on Saturday Night Live!
….give tours of the White House when not busy blowing up cars/buses/buildings full of US citizens.
… Vote democrat without a photo id.
…be a momentarily gracious dinner guest.
…knock before it enters.
…hover? I don’t even know her.
…give Slim Pickens a ride.
…detect
Tea Party RalliesRebel bases and contact theWhite HouseDeath Star so they can be destroyed with Photon Torpedos.…see through walls and find you.
…hold off while you finish your waffle.
…discriminate between whites and blacks, but not coloreds. (cheap B&W CCD chip.)
…make you feel safe and secure because shut up!
…man the phones at OFA. What? You thought we meant the weapons?
…make the seas stop rising.
…bullseye womp rats, they’re not much bigger than two meters
…clean-up after themselves. But they don’t do Windows.
…take out the garbage. Coming soon: recycling! Obama cares!
…. reduce the costs associated with long-term healthcare.
and drones, type 2:
…. build a pyramid suitable for their master
.. focus like a laser on jobs, the economy, and Rush Limbaugh.
… give Middle America those shovel-ready projects they’ve been teasing Obama about.
…let you start a load of laundry first.
…let the Cat out of the Barn.
…let bygones be bygones. And by golly, you’re gone!
…assume its proper place at the head of your table.
…interface with the TOTUS, making it totally free from possible human error mistakes.
…accomplish it’s missions on a wing and a prayer if need be, just without the prayer, which is enough to get the drone to pick out a target in the first place.
…distinguish between a finger-gun and a real gun in a classroom most of the time, but only enough to make it a reliable deterrent.
…cost billions of dollars without any clear benefit
…shoot now and not be able to answer questions later.
…destroy any incriminating evidence that surely would have been found, darn it.
…dial 911 if it is flying past Biden’s house and gets peppered with buckshot, possibly saving Joe from buying a new door and getting the carpets cleaned.
…fulfill all EEOC requirements because it is the Tydrone model.
…let Obama grow a mustache and enjoy his Luftwaffles.
…enforce Obamacare’s Death Panel decisions.
provide the means by which soylent green becomes fast food.
@44 Dohtimes: “Luftwaffles” — now *that*’s good!
… ask “Heads or tails, Friend-o?”
– perform a trial and find you guilty before blowing you to bits.
– take all the red tape out of public executions.
– allow the POTUS to rack up double frequent flyer miles when he controls from air force one.
Frappe’
…..find people sitting at their computers writing bad things about obama and kill them, their families, their dog and their fish named Spot.
…pat you down even more inappropriately than a TSA agent.
The White House announced its new drones will be able to read, which is more than you can say for most Obama voters.
…detect and stop water boarding in its tracks.
…seek out new life and new civilizations. And then to boldly go all splodey on ’em and stuff.
…make a good first impression.
… blow holes in the budget, the Constitution, and grandma’s bedroom window all at the same time.
…take direct temperature measurement of Uranus with an infrared sensor.
…encounter no Opposition!
…be governed by the “Prime Directive” : Murder, Death, Kill.
… detect and eliminate cigarrette smoke from three hundred miles away.
… evade incoming missile fire from 2nd Amendment followers.
… eliminate any news source not following the Party Line.
… play “Taps” over a missile strike.
… institute attacks on non-activity. Attacks, not a penalty.
…with a pre-attack tax on your sorry ass.
…file your taxes, sweep your house, or any other household chores you want done before being blown into the stratosphere.
…be susceptible to Jedi mind control. “These are not the accused terrorists you’re looking for. Move along.”
…hand out welfare checks and food stamps in their off time.
…perform MIB style mind-wipes. Say cheese.
Inhibit many constitutionalists at one strike.
…make wookie noises just before commencing its final approach.
… find that rebel scum on Hoth
… direct HBO at one site while aiming weapons at another – and you thought walking and chewing gum at one time was impressive
… come up with a budget faster than Obama
perform nearly as well as ED-209:
Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!