Trust me, you’d never eat mobsters again if you saw them being made.
— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) February 28, 2013
Be sure to check out my new HBO series “Bois,” the story of three twentysomething guys in Brooklyn and their roommate W.E.B. DuBois
— Will Rahn (@willrahn) February 28, 2013
Obama has two speeds: Golf and Attack.
— Jim Treacher (@jtLOL) February 28, 2013
Maybe if we re-name it Bottom-Lip Hitler Mustache we can finally make positive steps toward eradicating the soul patch.
— Michael J Nelson (@michaeljnelson) February 28, 2013
I’m dying for a breakfast cereal but I’d also like to eat some superstitious symbols of good fortune. Not sure what my options are here.
— Jason Miller (@longwall26) February 28, 2013
Drunk girls click “reply all” when they talk.
— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) February 28, 2013
“Eighty percent of success is looking like chocolate chips. Ha ha, fooled you.” — Raisins
— Robot Chicken (@cyborgturkey) February 28, 2013
Good burn: “I agree with your commenters.”
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) February 28, 2013
Joe Biden has two brainwaves. According to modern neuroscience, these can best be described as:
(1) Dumb and Dumber
(2) Dumbo and The Elephant
(3) Beavis and Butthead
(4) Blazing and Saddles
(5) Demented and Clinically Braindead Epileptic
(6) Foot-in-Mouth and Buy-a-Shotgun!
God bless you, Michael J. Nelson.
(7) Catatonic and Firing Shotgun Into Air