Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
… added 4 hours of mandatory TV to “common core”.
… took the remote away from Biden.
…proposed a new government program of free TVs for anyone up to age 26.
…proposed that all public school teachers be evaluated by the new “TV Standard”.
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
unleashed the grammar police, “stupider”?
said, “I resemble that remark.”
…was surprised. He thought they only had radio when Joe Biden was a kid.
said, “Why don’t they just turn it on then?”
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
demanded the industry return to the standards of the past. Sherwood Schwartz was brought out of retirement.
declared himself, Prince of the Power of the Error.
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
said, “I love it when a plan comes together.”
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
stopped listening to studies.
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
did nothing which kept a bad situation from getting worse.
signed an executive order to mandate a minimum IQ level of 100 regardless of test scores, so it wouldn’t fall any further. (Well it worked for minimum wage)
…mandated free choom so the young would lose the initiative to watch TV.
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
got the waivermobile ready to roll.
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
went back to his vacation, like anything he would do could make a difference.
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
asked if that included watching stuff on the internet as well.
…initiated a study to determine the impact on political voting, to see if this really was a problem or not.
Made no correlation between the study and his 200 prime-time, televised speeches, his 65 appearances on The View, Leno, Stewart, et al…
Consulted Eva Longoria for advise on how to fix the problem (it worked for immigration).
Passed “Obamaview”, which mandated every citizen purchase TV viewership insurance…
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
demanded air-time.
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
blamed all his scandals on tv watching children.
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
granted a waiver for PBS.
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
decided it wouldn’t affect his golf game and went back to sleep.
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
said, “LOOK! SQUIRREL!”
…announced a new federal subsidy for The View.
…deleted “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” from the White House Netflix queue.
…picked a 7 iron.
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
pondered how that could be since the Liberals have striven incessantly and successfully to drive conservatives out of the medium for years.
…delayed another part of Obamacare.
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
shrugged his shoulders and said, “Not my problem man.”
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
said, “I got nuthin’.”
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
said, “as long as the checks clear and the reporters stay compliant I’m supposed to give a rat’s ass?”
…began training so he wouldn’t lose his title.
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
…ordered transistor radios for Malia and Sasha.
…forced his daughters to play video games.
…told Michelle, “I told you so.”
…shouted, “WOOHOO! voters!!!11111!!!”
Contracted a hit on Big Bird.
…accused FOX of messing up the curve.
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
declared, “I watched TV all my life and I ain’t dum.”
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
… told reporters “If I had a son that watched TV, he’d look a lot like Joe Biden.”
… upgraded to the premium package for cable TVs in Republican House and Senate offices.
… switched Pelosi’s and Reid’s TVs with goldfish bowls yet acknowledged to his close advisors that it may be too late.
… wept silently as he threw out his own 80″ flatscreen TV because Valerie Jarret told him it had to go.
… called on the remaining 53% of Americans to gouge out their eyes and follow him blindly.
began his next sentence with “We need to have a conversation.”
…said he didn’t know about it until he saw the story on the news.
Asked, “then how does that explain the fact that I grew up without TV?”
…said “Ahhhhhh… and… ahhhhh…”
said, “No wonder I’m superior to these idiots. We never had any TV at all in Kenya when I was growing up.”
After hearing of a new study showing that TV makes kids stupider, President Obama…
quipped, “I thought American kids were the dumbest on Earth already. How could they get dumberer?”
… demanded that every Democratic Speech be televised.
…went on TV and said “Let me be perfectly clear, you people are too stupid to understand how truly great I am”.
…scrapped all the free lunch programs and ordered a hundred billion TV dinners.
…made sure Putin has “HBO and that SkinaMax channel” whenever he stays in the US.
…ordered all military personnel to watch 8 hours of training videos about the dangers of TV viewing, every day.
…assured the kids in all 57 states that he watched plenty of TV when he was a growing up and he is the smartest Democrat in America.
…reminded us of how TV went off air at 1:00 AM when he was a kid and he usually passed the pattern test at least half the time.
…huffed and puffed a bit, then said “There IS a uhh… one of those things, a uhhh button of some kind where you don’t have to watch no more and if there ain’t I’m gonna make them make them from now on and has anybody seen the remote?”
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