… raised their taxes further. (no, of course it doesn’t make sense, but raising taxes is just so reflexive…)
… imposed an A href=”http://www.conservativecrusader.com/articles/exit-stage-left-california-s-proposed-departure-tax”>exit tax on any company that leaves.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
sang:
“California Uber Alles”
I am Governor Jerry Brown
My aura smiles
And never frowns
Soon you will be taxed to death…
Obama Power will soon go away
But I’m still am your Fuhrer today
My command to all of you
Pay your taxes you can’t run away!
Pay your taxes you can’t run away!
[Chorus:]
California Uber Alles
California Uber Alles
Uber Alles California
Uber Alles California
Zen fascists will control you
100% tax rate
You will film for the master race
And always wear the happy face
Don’t close your eyes, it’s happenin’ here
Big Gov’t must be fed my dear
You hippies can’t leave I say
My high taxes you will pay
My high taxes you will pay!
[Chorus]
Now it is 2000, 10 and 4
Knock-knock at your front door
It’s the tax collecting secret police
They have come, better pay your piece
Or go quietly to the camp
You’d look nice as a drawstring lamp
Don’t you worry, it’s only a shower
For your clothes here’s a pretty flower.
DIE on organic poison gas
We’ll get our money on your death tax
You will croak, you little clown
When you mess with Governor Brown
When you mess with Governor Brown
… reduced Film Makers’ taxes by twenty-five percent, and increased the Income Tax for everyone describing themselves as actors or registered as
Republicans by fifty percent
…declared making movies outside of California illegal and ordered Martin Scorsese, Steven Spielberg, and James Cameron immediately executed as examples.
…taxed leaving California
…promised them each a tree planting.
… raised their taxes further. (no, of course it doesn’t make sense, but raising taxes is just so reflexive…)
… imposed an A href=”http://www.conservativecrusader.com/articles/exit-stage-left-california-s-proposed-departure-tax”>exit tax on any company that leaves.
… referred them to Apple’s accountants.
…cried while announcijng that the “Hollywood” sign deserved a makeover.
…put them on double secret probation.
…promised them a 10% discount on their next picture. Vancouver, B.C. saw his 10 and raised by 10. Brown folded.
…put up signs facing in at the border that said… “you are new entering California”…. (solved the immigration problem for CA as well)
…said, “What Kim Jong-Un has done for entertainment, I’ll do for you.”
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
Wanted to make a PSA asking them to stay, but it was too expensive because of taxation.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
stapled their feet to the ground.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
asked all the other governors to raise their taxes as well.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
called them all damn conservatives and racists, at his last Hollywood fundraiser.
planted maple trees in Simi Valley in hopes producers would think they were in Canada already. (And if they went to public school in LA, they might.)
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
reintroduced involuntary servitude, for their own good.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
asked the good people of Texas to kick in a few bucks to help keep American made movies American made.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
is considering building a fence…
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
has found employment for all these ex-STASI guys.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
is offering them all the free cookies they want.
…is filming a movie about the problem.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
has promised to lower their taxes, cut red tape and over regulation. Basically he’s gone all Republican on ’em.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
has increased taxes on Moving Vans.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
has promised to bomb Syria as a diversion…. wait, that’s Obama.
…offered to grant filmmakers an exemption from minimum wage laws.
…outlawed homophobia.
…declared war on Canada.
…handcuffed them to the bed
…asked all the Mexican illegals to stop telling Hollywood how to quietly cross a border
…promised them a bailout, once they finish the high speed rail line to LA…
…laughed, and went about his business, because, seriously, who would ever leave California??????
…opened envelope 3 and found a note that started out with “first – get three envelopes…”
…Called Arnold Schwarzenegger for advice, and housekeeper dating tips
…felt a strong sense of irony and foreboding as they each looked at him and said “I’ll be back”
. . . is offering them romantic evenings with Miley Cyrus
promised to re-release Gigli.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
dropped them from his speed dial list, that will show ’em!
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
had his people call their people to do lunch.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
demanded Ben Affleck be the next Batman or else!
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
decided to raise the fleeing tax to fleecing levels.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
had few options, being a Liberal Statist, aside from asking the legislature to make leaving the state a felony and Apostasy as well for good measure.
…threatened to fund a movie critic jobs program.
Called Matt Mead and asked him to raise property prices in Jackson WY.
…built a border wall stretching from Oregon in the Northwest to Arizona in the Southeast. The border with Mexico remains porous.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
…signed into law that any money made from any movie made anywhere was subject to California’s taxes
…attempted to annex the other 56 states
…put signs on the roads headed out that read, “Welcome to Detroit. A nice place to live”
…built a giant dome over the state
…
…has ordered a few hundred explosive collars.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
sang:
“California Uber Alles”
I am Governor Jerry Brown
My aura smiles
And never frowns
Soon you will be taxed to death…
Obama Power will soon go away
But I’m still am your Fuhrer today
My command to all of you
Pay your taxes you can’t run away!
Pay your taxes you can’t run away!
[Chorus:]
California Uber Alles
California Uber Alles
Uber Alles California
Uber Alles California
Zen fascists will control you
100% tax rate
You will film for the master race
And always wear the happy face
Don’t close your eyes, it’s happenin’ here
Big Gov’t must be fed my dear
You hippies can’t leave I say
My high taxes you will pay
My high taxes you will pay!
[Chorus]
Now it is 2000, 10 and 4
Knock-knock at your front door
It’s the tax collecting secret police
They have come, better pay your piece
Or go quietly to the camp
You’d look nice as a drawstring lamp
Don’t you worry, it’s only a shower
For your clothes here’s a pretty flower.
DIE on organic poison gas
We’ll get our money on your death tax
You will croak, you little clown
When you mess with Governor Brown
When you mess with Governor Brown
… reduced Film Makers’ taxes by twenty-five percent, and increased the Income Tax for everyone describing themselves as actors or registered as
Republicans by fifty percent
…renamed California “Vancouver South”
…declared making movies outside of California illegal and ordered Martin Scorsese, Steven Spielberg, and James Cameron immediately executed as examples.
…begged them to take him with them.
…had a study undertaken to determine how many of them owned expensive racehorses.
…made it even easier to qualify for Oscar Stamps.
…convinced all the worlds dictators to move to Brentwood, eliminating 90% of travel needs for the industry.
…promised to personally spray air freshener for the remake of Basic Instinct starring Sandra Fluke.
…had the states official seal changed to Mel Gibson in a jar of urine.
…finally funded the pipeline to Colombia.
…raised the pay to $15 an hour for that woman who signs “Hollywood” at the base of the Hollywood sign.
…has decided to legalize cocaine an pedophilia.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
…worked out a deal with Obama to give them IRS tax-exempt status, ObamaCare exemptions, protection from NSA spying, SNAP cards, and free Obama phones.
…gave them amnesty on hiring illegal aliens.
…placed them all under mansion arrest.
… pointed a remote at them and pressed rewind furiously whenever he saw them trying to pass the border.
… Ordered the death star to blow up Vancouver.
… tried many things, all of which resulted in filmmakers fleeing faster. So, pretty much the track record of most liberal solutions.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
…threatened them with excommunication from the Democratic Party.
…threatened to give their Social Security Numbers to the IRS, the NSA, and Eric Holder.
…is mixing up a big batch of Jonestown Kool-Aid.
…offered to give tax exemptions to porn filmmakers.
…offered to discuss the issue over some Napa Valley wine.
…gave them lifetime passes to Disney Land.
…made California the Airtight Garage of Jerry Brown.
To keep overtaxed Hollywood filmmakers from fleeing California, Democrat Governor Jerry Brown…
promised them that if they left they would never work in this town again!
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