Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…
…meaning he only hires the most mediocre and dimmest the first time ’round.
…after he found out he couldn’t blame Bush.
…Eric Snowden and Julian Assange.
…Stanley Jobson.
…he also plans to hire 9 women to have a baby in one month.
Whites need not apply
…’cause to website is only a 5 lbs. bag, and there’s more’n 5 lbs. of crap to put in it.
(* Results may vary.)
…’cause the website is only a 5 lbs. bag, and there’s more’n 5 lbs. of crap to put in it. (corrected)
…provided that their company is a big donor.
…because Einstein’s quote on insanity just might be wrong.
Part of the critera is that they had to have won at least one of Anonymiss’ cookies.
…but due to government hiring policies it will be a couple of guys whose last programming jobs involved punch cards and a couple of Occupy Wall Streeters that once had a great idea for a killer app while smoking choom in the drum circle.
…but due to government hiring policies current employees have priority so they will be rehiring the developers that originally built it.
…but due to union rules front end developers are not allowed to talk with application layer developers who are not allowed to talk to the back end developers.
…just like he found the best and brightest for Vice President, and Secretary of State, and IRS Commissioner, and….
…which begs the question: If these people are willing to help fix this mess so that ObamaCare can move forward…are they truly the brightest?
…he doesn’t understand Dakota Indian Tribal Wisdom…
The tribal wisdoms of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that ‘when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount’. However, in many companies as well as in the government a range of far more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1.Changing riders (higher better expert riders)
2.Appointing a committee to study the horse
3.Arranging to visit other countries to see how others ride dead horses
4.Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included
5.Reclassifying the dead horse as ‘living impaired’.
6.Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse
7.Harnessing several dead horses together to increase the speed
8.Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse’s performance
9.Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance
10.Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead, and therefore contributes substantially more to the mission of the organisation than do some other horses
11.Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses…
12.Announcing there’s a phone number to help you learn how to ride the dead horse…
13.Proclaiming you don’t have any Horse Death Panels.
14.Blaming the previous horse rider (Bush)
President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…
unfortunately they were busy trying to kiss up for some Anonymiss cookies so he got the OK and the somewhat illuminated.
Should’ve been ‘hire’ not ‘higher’ on #1
…which pretty much rules out anyone already working for the government.
…and then had to pause for a minute and a half of giggling.
… because the the Good and the Beautiful were busy traveling to a planet of really small people.
(Harvey will get it.)
…but when asked about all the bad server performance, he got defensive and said, “Our servers do a fine job at every meal.”
President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…
he also vowed not to cheat on his golf score this round.
only to discover the best weren’t the same thing as the brightest and vice versa.
who turned out to be Beavis and Butthead.
but they wouldn’t start work until they had abortions included in their health benefits.
President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…
so he had to divert the resources he had designated to find him some good dog recipes.
President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…
but they were busy trying to fix the NY Giants.
President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…
and he swore that on a Holy Koran so you know he REALLY meant it!
President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…
but since that pretty much was limited to Liberal B&B don’t get your hopes up.
…after they were done working on the Mexican border fence.
…because when he wanted something done fast and furious there only one person to be left Holdering the bag.
…because, (Holy Crap) otherwise this buck was really gonna stop with him.
…because they had just finished building him a giant wooden badger.
… but what he got was depressed and detritus.
There doesn’t seem to be a Zombie Robert McNamara gif online…
…but settled for loyal sycophants.
…Because the surge worked so well in Fallujah, he decided to apply that tactic to ObamaCare.
decided to hire the best and the brightest,
only he had no idea where to look..
cause nobody is “madder” than him! Why he had a hard time playing golf and EVERYTHING!
which should only cost about a bazillion dollars on top of the 634 million already spent
…however the “best and the brightest” already have jobs
…however he quickly realized that the “best and the brightest” won’t have anything to do with a system designed to force them into government dependence and control.
…but only as part-time contractors exempt from any employer benefits
President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…
Obama welcomes his saviors http://youtu.be/UnkefjCES-4
President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…
so, he is offering an unlimited supply of Xena tapes and hotpockets!
President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…
and they will immediately begin working 29 hours a week on the problem!
President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…
who promptly decided it would be easier and cheaper to fix the world and everyone in it instead of the website.
… realizing that all he had now is incompetent stooges.
…, using the same criteria California is using to hire for the “high-speed” rail project, released prisoners and homeless people to the front of the line.
…and came close to admitting that him just using voice recognition software and saying “OK website, start healthcarin’ and stuff” might have needed some fine tuning.
…and this time the programmers won’t have to use O’s instead of zeros.
…because we are going to get Obamacare even if it doesn’t kill us.
…but still faces the problem of any sane person wanting to inflict the horrors of it on anyone, so only mad geniuses need apply.
…as he donned his ruby red slippers and pranced down the yellow brick road singing “You’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of open and say ahhhhhh”.
President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…
…because there’s never time to do it right, but there always seems to be enough time to do it over.
…just as long as they’re not incandescent.
…too bad it’s not like Geico, “So easy a caveman can do it”
…now the uninsured will receive errors, “429 Too Many Requests” followed by “598 Network read timeout error”
…but ended up getting this guy
… but Frank J. declined because he had better things to do, “Ahhh… Golden Girls marathon on the Hallmark Channel”
…but most of Kennedy’s people are long dead, so no dice.
They recommended replacing it with a crowd-sourced, fully dispersed, self balancing, multi-modal system. Then got fired when someone figured out they meant repeal the law and let the free market do its job.
…they recommended nuking it from orbit, just to be sure.
…and they discovered the problem: people preferred Anonymiss’ cookies to healthcare.gov’s tracking cookies.
President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…
…but the Stuxnet guys were unavailable — having headed off to Israel for the high holy days.
…in the end, it all depends on what your definition of “best and brightest” is.
…What difference at this point does it make?”
…but no one can convince them to work for him.
Which is a complete break from his usual hiring practices.
… but he was politely informed the incandescent bulbs were banned, so ‘brightest’ was out of the picture.
… And since he thinks he’s better at policy than his policy advisors and better at speeches than his speechwriters, he assumed that the best and brightest was himself and raised his own salary.
but he was informed that the guys from “big bang theory” were just actors.
…but Biden reminded him to beware of Geeks bearing gifts.
He didn’t hire me, so he’s not getting the best. He didn’t offer me the job, so he’s not the brightest. My name isn’t Bush, so he can’t blame me. I wouldn’t take the job if he did offer it, proving I am the brightest.
On a different point, I heard that Obama hired some SEIU stooges to ORGANIZE and MOTIVATE the current web implementers. Don’t be surprised if your healthcare comes with an automatic SEIU membership and a free purple-people-beaters tee shirt!
President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…
in accordance with Equal Employment Opportunity and minority employment promotional standards.
(They’re still looking for around 20 non-Caucasians to balance out the current team.)