In a purely symbolic act (he’ll keep his government insurance), President Obama signed up for an Obamacare “Bronze” plan.
In another symbolic act, I’ll be paying my Obamacare fine with an oversize Publisher’s Clearing House novelty check, hand-delivered by an Ed McMahon look-alike.
Just want to see how well this story works with minor adjustments:
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President Obama issued a stern warning to entrepreneurs pushing the boundaries of his economic reforms, telling Congress that “those pressuring us to move faster are moving us toward failure.”
Obama has subsidized small-scale, green businesses since 2010, but has issued tighter regulations on businesses seen as going too far or competing excessively with state enterprises.
Obama threw his full weight behind such measures in an address to the legislature, saying “every step we take must be accompanied by the establishment of a sense of order.”
“Inadequate controls by government institutions in the face of illegal activities by private businesspeople weren’t resolved in a timely fashion, creating an environment of impunity and stimulating the accelerated growth of activities that were never authorized for certain occupations,” Obama said.
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Hmmm… we’ll call that one “not entirely implausible”.
A new report shows that, of the 365,000 Obamacare enrollees, only about 10% have actually paid their first premium.
Guess the rest assume that being a deadbeat is covered as a pre-existing condition.
[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]
This is such a cliche, but I’ll say it anyway:
“Can you imagine what the media would’ve done with this if Obama were a Republican?”
[High Praise! to Michael Walsh]
“You Can’t Possibly Mean That”
Sort of a primer on how to humiliate liberals in public. Hopefully you’ll get the chance to use some of these phrases yourself.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
A study published in the British Medical Journal shows that one in two hundred women in the United States reported being pregnant and giving birth without ever having sexual intercourse.
All of whom have now been sued by George Lucas for plagiarizing “The Phantom Menace”.
When, you know, I’m busy and Nancy [Pelosi] is busy with our mop, cleaning up somebody else’s mess — we don’t want somebody sitting back saying, you’re not holding the mop the right way. (Applause.) Why don’t you grab a mop, why don’t you help clean up. (Applause.) You’re not mopping fast enough. (Laughter.) That’s a socialist mop. (Laughter and applause.) Grab a mop — let’s get to work.
BARACK OBAMA, speech at DNC fundraising reception, Oct. 15, 2009
“Don’t laugh. I wasn’t kidding about that socialist mop thing.”
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Google’s new robot topped all challengers in a Pentagon contest. Its most impressive feature…
Engineers at the Department of Energy’s Pacific Northwest National Laboratory announced that they have created a process that takes algae and turns it into crude oil in less than an hour.
Just waiting for the EPA to ban cleaning your pool in the name of protecting America’s precious natural resources.
(NOTE: One expletive from the movie makes it through uncensored. Sadly, not the superawesome one at the end)
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #460,351)
Answering the age-old question, “how many times should John McClane have died during the movie?”
Two Seattle veterinarians are pioneering the use of medical marijuana to treat pets.
Imagine a dog full of marijuana… it’s like an Obama Turducken.
[High Praise! to Monster Hunter Nation]
Christmas Noun 6: Yes, Wendell, There Really is a Christmas Noun
Really weird, but lots of fun. Just roll with it…
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
