Wisdom of the Day: Poverty Portrait Bond MSNBC

John Kerry’s 2014 New Year Resolutions

My man in State has come through again.  Now he got Kerry’s 2014 New Year Resolutions, and they are about what you would expect.

  • Develop an immunity to iocane powder in case I am challenged to a contest of wits by a Sicilian diplomat
  • Try not to start a land war in Asia
  • Beat Assad at the knockout game
  • Finally have a sex scandal.  Why does no one want to have a sex scandal with me?
  • Find that Rorschach guy and force him to stop making perverted ink drawings of my mother with George Bush and a donkey
  • Find a way to get that residual Hillary smell out of my office
  • Discretely find out which state I am supposed to be the secretary of
  • Figure out how to block Putin from my facebook page.  I think he is fb-stalking me
  • Figure out how to remove those facebook links I accidentally made to NORAD, NSA surveillance, the nuclear launch codes and healthcare.gov
  • Discretely find a tutor so I can get my IQ test scores above 80
  • More botox
  • Overcome my addiction to bath salts, and in the meantime, hire some younger, more tender interns
  • Armed with White-out, find a way past security and ‘amend’ the Constitution so I rather than Biden am next in line
  • Challenge Obama to a contest of wits

Random Thoughts: Marijuana, Theory of Law, and Intellectuals

Good thing Lieutenant Yar was on the Enterprise and not a pirate ship since it would have been confusing to tell if she was being called.

Oh, guess it wasn’t a good thing since she was killed after just 22 episodes.

So how long are we go to call the over a century-old failed ideas of tax & spend and expanding government “progressive”?

After a certain amount of time, you should at least change the name from “unemployment” to “welfare.”

My calculus on the marijuana legalization question is that it’s not something I’m willing to shoot people over.

Isn’t that the gold standard for laws? “Am I willing to shoot someone over this?” There is an implied violent threat with every law.

That’s why so much of the left today are psychopaths; they’ll point a gun at you over a plastic bag or a large soda.

I’m the country’s foremost public intellectual.

I was a private intellectual for awhile, but I got outed.

Prediction: George R.R. Martin eventually publishes the 6th book, but never the 7th. Still more satisfying than ending to Lost.

We’re just going to have to persevere until 2017 when Joe Biden become president and fixes everything.

The vast majority of people extremely certain about global warming don’t understand the science either.

PRO TIP: Instead of pleading “not guilty,” juries are much more impressed if you plead “double not guilty!”

If the government really has a way to shut down all the internet, we should have a holiday where they do that once a year.

The best evidence that Obama is racist is that he thought Joe Biden was smart for a white person.

First, they ban guns.
Second, they ban speech.
Third, they close down the skate park.
Fourth, ???
Fifth, profit.

WW1 didn’t seem like it was one of the fun wars.

Link of the Day: Artistic 2-fer

[High Praise! to 4of7 of Little Worlds]

2013 Fresh – April (plus a few extras)

2013 Fresh – May

Fair warning on the May link – although it DOES have penguins, it’s also got… well, I think he must’ve just dusted his blog, because some of it seemed to get in my eye toward the end of the post.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Laden Interview Deniers Santa MacGyver Politics

Obama Warned Us – Outreach

The promotion of human rights cannot be about exhortation alone. At times, it must be coupled with painstaking diplomacy. I know that engagement with repressive regimes lacks the satisfying purity of indignation. But I also know that sanctions without outreach — condemnation without discussion — can carry forward only a crippling status quo. No repressive regime can move down a new path unless it has the choice of an open door.

BARACK OBAMA, Nobel Lecture, Dec. 10, 2009

“Like, for example, a door that opens into a uranium enrichment facility.”