a blind person just picked fault with a tweet about guide dogs
i have so many questions about this i dont know where to begin
— k e e t (@KeetPotato) March 24, 2014
The Kochs need to start some liberal-sounding group and raise money by attacking themselves.
— L (@OrwellForks) March 24, 2014
"You have your father's eyebrows." – cleanest way to break off an engagement
— Uncle Dynamite (@UncleDynamite) March 24, 2014
everyone at @mmfa has free employer-provided birth control. Their personalities.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) March 24, 2014
No one was ever made happy by a sentence that starts, "Due to."
— DC Pierson (@DCpierson) March 24, 2014
I believe the collective noun for a group of 20-somethings sitting around staring at their phones is 'a disappointment'
— slow jam (@unodos_case) March 24, 2014
You always hear a stake through the heart is an effective way to kill a vampire, but actually, it's an effective way to kill lots of things
— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) March 24, 2014
Can you imagine how different the world would be today if Hitler had seen a COEXIST bumper sticker?
— Eli Braden (@EliBraden) March 25, 2014
Can you imagine how different the world would be today if Hitler had seen a COEXIST bumper sticker? Yeah, ’bout the same difference it’s made with Putin having seen them. None!
“Due to snow, school is cancelled today.”