Archive of entries posted on August 2014

Random Thoughts: Misogyny, Simpsons, and Partying

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Richard Dawkins doesn’t want children to grow up to lead sad, miserable lives, but how would you know if a child would grow up to be him?

There’s a lot of racism you can get away with if you make it clear you’re for higher taxes and more government.

To help end misogyny, have women tried being nicer?

See, the joke itself makes a misogynistic assumption. If I have to explain the joke, that means it’s very intellectual and thus good.

Can’t believe I had to mansplain my misogyny joke.

All of America’s enemies getting together for a golf tournament would be a great end to the President Obama movie.

The Obama presidency is stupid, but I like to think of it as a uniquely American kind of stupid I can still take pride in.

One of these days I need to sit you all down and have a long chat on how awesome I am because I still think you don’t quite understand.

We all hate millennials, but we still have to work on making them productive so they can eventually pay for our entitlements.

I should be subjecting my children to the Simpsons marathon, but I don’t have cable.

So it’s a 12-day Simpsons marathon — that’s how many good days?

Really, the first ten or so season of The Simpsons have to be the single biggest influence on my sense of humor.

I remember having long conversations with friends that was nothing but quoting lines from The Simpsons.

One of these days I should do my top 100 Simpsons lines/moments, though it would be hard to cut down to that few.

The Simpsons gave me ten good seasons, and I continued to watch them for about ten seasons more.

Last late episode I remember really liking was the book heist one that had Neil Gaiman as a guest voice. Great end joke.

I remember the last season I watched being pretty decent, but it was like “Classic Itchy & Scratchy! … What else is on?”

Understanding ISIS is best left to anthropologists who dig up their bones a thousand years from now.

I hope they finally have Mr. T do a cameo on Doctor Who. “I pity the Who!”

The new game from the Flappy Bird creator is about a hundred times harder.

Swing Copters would be insanely hard without the swinging hammers. With them, it’s just ridiculous.

You can basically name any episode from the first ten seasons of The Simpsons and I can come up with a few funny lines from it.

Did they change the actor for who plays the main character in Doctor Who? Do they think they can do that and we won’t notice?

I remember when we had presidents who respected us enough to pretend to care.

Okay, I’ll finally ask: How does one “party”? Do you dance to loud music? What are the mechanics of it?

I haven’t followed music in a while. Who is the popular new band now? Beck?

Autotune was made to help ease us into all music being computer generated.

If you actually remember when MTV mainly just played music videos, then you’re way too old to be watching MTV.

lolbama! Part 196

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Submit entries to lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

From Hatless in Hattiesburg:

[ref 1,ref 2] (Obscury!)

From Hatless in Hattiesburg:

[reference link]

From Proof of Proof Positive:

[reference link]

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

[reference link]

Bonus cartoon, submitted by Kris:

My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Travelwise42 of Wise Up:

[reference link]

From walruskkkch:

From walruskkkch:

From walruskkkch:

From walruskkkch:

From walruskkkch:

This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

Hatless in Hattiesburg for knowing who the heck Kerlikowske is and using his name in perfect context.

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

IMAGE SOURCES: Lots of great Obama pics to be found at the White House Flickr page.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Presidenting Is Hard

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In my new PJ Media column, I defend President Obama for all the vacations he takes.

In a way, his lack of concern about Ferguson should help with race relations, as we now know that a black president can care just as little about black people as a white president would. It’s probably a different kind of apathy, as Obama better understands what black people are going through, having experienced racism himself, but at least he is ignoring everyone equally.

Hard Truth

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[High Praise! to Gunslinger’s Journal]

A snarky comment found at a Bloomberg article on Africa

“Will Africa be the next China?”

Why sure! All they lack (besides sanitation) is writing, the wheel, 5,000 years of civilization, respect for their fellow citizens, respect for the law, an appreciation of education, a knack for bureaucracy, an inexhaustible capacity for work, respect for their elders, love of family and about 40 IQ points.

I may be wrong, but I think this answer may also apply in spirit to the degenerate rioting underclass in Ferguson.