Archive of entries posted on April 2025
Friday Night Open Thread: Illogicalities
Why was Charlie Tuna so eager to be hooked, shredded, and packed into a can of Starkist?
Why would they serve Brontoribs that can tip over a whole car full of people? Wasn’t the danger obvious?
Why not just send Top Cat and his gang to the Pound?
What did Tennessee Tuxedo attach his bow-tie to?
Where did the Fractured Fairy Tales guy get his book, and why did he not realize the danger?
Hating New Phrases, Vol. 50
Can Anyone Declare Martial Law, Or Does It Have To Be a Politician?
D Still Isn’t a Failing Grade
District Court Judge Decrees That IMAO Must Reinstate Yak
Does Al Gore Still Do the Macarena?
Straight Line of the Day: Canada Is Placing Tariffs on Weird Things. What Can We Place Tariffs On In Return?
Canada Slaps Tariffs on Flamethrowers, Manatee Meat, Fake Beards, and Live Monkeys in Response to Trump
Breitbart | 31 Mar 2025 | John HaywardCanada slapped 25 percent tariffs on about 1,800 American products in March, and will implement 4,400 more on April 2, the day President Donald Trump plans to announce higher tariffs against every country that taxes U.S. imports.
Many of Canada’s tariffs are bizarrely targeted at imports that are virtually nonexistent, leading critics to suspect the list has been padded with nonsense to make the Canadian response look much tougher than it really is.
CTV on Sunday listed some of the “odd and obscure” imports targeted by Canada, including “flamethrowers, false beards, church bell cases, and live monkeys,” plus “manatee meat and passenger drones.”
Canadians will soon find themselves paying more for imported American accordion parts, emus, bovine semen, and clothing made with asbestos fibers.
Bond Girlathon Friday : Results from 3/28/2025 : New Matches for 4/4/2025
I hope you stretched properly for this week’s matches.
| Kim Basinger | No Preference | Karen Dor |
|---|---|---|
| 154 | 0 | 64 |
| Jacqueline Bisset | No Preference | Jill St. John |
|---|---|---|
| 165 | 0 | 93 |
Week of 4/4/2025
Match 1
Ursula Andress (Honey Ryder) vs Eunice Gayson (Sylvia Trench)
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Ursula Andress | 1 – 0 – 0 | 194 – 0 – 110 |
Actress: Ursula Andress Nationality: Swiss Bond Movie: Dr. No (1962) Synopsis:
Honey Ryder dazzled cinema audiences, stepping out of the Caribbean sea wearing a white bikini with a large hunting knife at her side. She proved to be immensely popular with fans and set the tone for all Bond girls to come.
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total scores |
|---|---|---|
| Eunice Gayson | 1 – 0 – 0 | 113 – 7 – 57 |
Actress: Eunice Gayson Nationality: English Bond Movie: Dr. No (1962) From Russia With Love (1963) Synopsis:
Sylvia Trench introduced herself in the opening scene of Dr. No as “Trench. Sylvia Trench”, which Bond then mimicked with his now trademark “Bond. James Bond”. Trench was Bond’s girlfriend for the first two films, with a running joke that Bond was called away on a mission just as things were heating up.
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Match 2
Zena Marshall (Miss Taro) vs Lana Wood (Plenty O’Toole)
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Zena Marshall | 1 – 0 – 0 | 194 – 3 – 12 |
Zena Marshall Nationality: English Bond Movie: Dr. No (1962) Synopsis:
Miss Taro was a spy working for the villainous Dr. No. She got herself a job at government house in Kingston, Jamaica, so that she could steal secret files detailing Dr. No and Crab Key Island. She invited Bond to her house for dinner, where she laid a trap for his assassination. However, Bond smelled something was fishy and got his men to arrest Miss Taro so he could lay a trap for the assassin.
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Lana Wood | 0 – 1 – 0 | 119 – 0 – 194 |
Actress: Lana Wood Nationality: American Bond Movie: Diamonds Are Forever (1971) Synopsis:
Plenty O’Toole was a gold digger from Las Vegas. She helped a man gamble at the craps table, but when he lost all of his money, she lost interest. She turned to leave, but went back after hearing James Bond ask for $10,000 in chips. She helped Bond play craps, and after winning $50,000, she went back to Bond’s suite. Bond girl Tiffany Case was waiting there for Bond, and some mobsters threw Plenty out of the window into the pool below.
This poll is no longer accepting votes
Thousands of People Dying Each Day Worldwide
Today’s Ireland Bashing
Erin’s Gone, Bruh.
Irish Government Freezes Christian Teacher’s Bank Account After He Refused to Use Gender-Neutral Pronouns
Caldron Pool | Mar 31, 2025The Irish government has frozen the bank account of an Irish teacher after his continued refusal to use gender-neutral pronouns for a student at Wilson’s Hospital School. Enoch Burke, who has spent more than 500 days in jail for refusing to comply with a court order, also had his salary payments halted.
Burke attempted to withdraw funds from his Bank of Ireland account last week but found that he was unable to access his money. The account reportedly holds over €40,000—his personal savings from years of work. The Irish government and courts have frozen these funds and are set to seize them next week.
Burke was previously jailed for contempt of court after refusing to comply with an injunction barring him from entering Wilson’s Hospital School, where he had been suspended following a dispute over the use of transgender pronouns.
The freezing of his bank account marks an unprecedented escalation in the legal battle. Burke maintains that he was upholding the Christian ethos of his school and acting according to his beliefs. The Irish courts have ruled against him at multiple stages, leading to fines, jail time, and now the freezing of his assets.
“What this is all about is an attempt to change the face of our country and to exalt LGBTQ+ ideology above Christian belief–to do away with religious belief altogether,” Burke said in a video update posted on X. “Children are being told they decide their gender. That is an anti-Christian belief.
“It’s not me that should be criminalised today, it’s any teacher that will stand in front of a class and will encourage young children to accept a belief that is anti-Christian…”
While this could just be the Irish government enforcing fines that have already been adjudicated, I doubt they would fine and jail a Muslim teacher for refusing to espouse ideas counter to their religious beliefs. There has to be accommodation for cases like this.
Local Man Arrested for Threatening To Shoot the Breeze, Shoot the Works, and Shoot the Rapids
C You, Now Thursday
Your challenge: to create a new word or phrase that begins with C.
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Cloney, George: About half the guys on Hollywood Boulevard.
— See also: Tom crews
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Correction: An insult. When an institution, an institution that corrects nothing.
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Anyone getting one of these into the online Urban Dictionary wins an automatic Harvey Award.