If we could eat global warming, what would it taste like?
I think it would be buttery, but I don’t know if that’s the scientific consensus.
No Comments
That’s easy! It would be one of two flavors:
1. Lime Jello – shiney, wiggly and mesmerizing, but, in the end, nothing of any substance
…or…
2. A load of crap – for obvious reasons…
Cotton candy, for the same reasons as FormerHostage’s reasons for lime jello.
I hope that it tastes like andouille with red beans and rice. I really like andouille with red beans and rice.
Ok,
For those of you who haven’t already taken up the practice of eating your carbon offsets.
Canadians — Chicken
Italians — Chicken, Broccoli
Blue state Americans — Chicken, what else would it be.
Scandinavians — Chicken, Mackerel
Frenchmen — Veal
Spanish — Rice and Chicken
Caribbean – Mango Chicken
South Americans — Rice and Chicken
Chinese — Chicken or Pork with a side of rice.
German — Chicken Sausage
Mexican — Chicken Taco’s
Australians — Marsupial Chicken
San Franciscan — Um, I wont even go there.
Arabs — BACON, Oh just kidding, Chicken, lamb or goat.
Bon Appetit!!!
I made Global Warming Soup and it was deeeelicious.
It tastes just like Rock Soup. The recipe is almost the same except instead of the rock, you use Global Warming.
you guys are completely wrong…it would most definetly taste like jalapenos marinated in a luscious flamin hot sauce topped with a delectable red cherry, yes red
After much testing and accurate Taste Prediction modeling, I have found that no matter what you enter as data, the model consistently reports that Global Warmind tastes like wet ass. Anyone that denies the validity of tis model or the research is a denier working for Halliburton and Big Oil.
I hear it tastes like polar bear. But not a good, meaty polar bear. Something skinny and stringy that’s been stuck on a drifting patch of ice because it’s too stupid to remember that it knows how to swim.
Oh, and for ther record, stupid, stringy polar bear tastes kinda like chicken.
It won’t be very tasty for those that go hungry because of global warming. Sure the polar bears will go extinct and maybe some of you think that is funny for some reason? But what about here in the U.S. Food could even get very expensive here in the U.S pretty quickly. Take last year’s fierce heat wave in California that killed tens of thousands of cattle. During that heat wave last year it was so freakishly hot at night that thousands of bats dropped dead. If that kind of heat wave becomes a yearly or twice a year occurence in California even the U.S. will see food problems. Initally global warming may actually increase crop growth and make for more nice comfy days at the beach with tons of hot chicks and kegs of beer too but in a couple of decades it won’t be so fun. The heat waves that hit cities and cause thousands of people to drop dead won’t be fun at all. It is the hot night temperatures you need to watch not so much the day temperatures. Those are the real killer heat waves and they are going to become more and more common.
Sarc Man,
You are an idiot wrapped in a moron. To do anything about global warming we’d have to turn down the sun. Or do you think man is causing the icecaps on Mars to melt at the same time it is allegedly warming up one degree in the last 100 years here?
And that right there is why it’s so darn funny.
100 years ago the margin of error on a thermometer was probably around 10%. I would bet that even 50 years ago the margin of error was over 1%. It’s only been in the last 10 or 20 years, when computers became small and cheap enough for more uses, that thermometers became extremely accurate.
I’m pretty sure that in 1900 they took their thermometer, shoved it into ice and marked “32 degrees” and then shoved it into boiling water and marked “212” and then filled in the middle.
Without some serious measuring devices you can’t figure out the exact volume to make the thermometer mathematically correct. Heck, you can’t even make the inside of the thermometer an exact size without calipers or something equally exact.
The whole “0.6 degrees celcius” is just fudge-factor mixed with a guess because the first number, “A gajillion”, wasn’t plausible.
Sarc Man,
You are an idiot wrapped in a moron. To do anything about global warming we’d have to turn down the sun. Or do you think man is causing the icecaps on Mars to melt at the same time it is allegedly warming up one degree in the last 100 years here?
Actually you are the idiot moron all wrapped in one entity. The Mars icecap reduction is a solar event due to the large moonless wobble of the Mars planet. It’s a coincidence and does not mean Earth’s warming is a purely solar event. Mars lacks the greenhouse effect we have here on Earth. That’s why making an argument like “there are no cars on Mars” to dispute global warming is outrageously stupid. Without the greenhouse effect we would be a humanless cold horror sphere like Mars where temps dive down to -100 celcius. But the same atmosphere that helps us exist could also get us killed. The more greenhouse gases that get pumped into the atmosphere the more the Earth will warm. The same guy (Abdussamatov) who argues this solar warming theory for Earth also believes the Earth will stop warming soon and then cool dramatically in about 15 years. It will be painfully obvious that he was wrong as the Earth’s temps continue to warm. We need new technologies that reduce greenhouse gases. Reducing greenhouse gases also has the added benefit of reducing pollution and helping people with breathing problems and helping the environment.
Frank,
Is there any way you could get Sarcasm Man to post on the main page? His angry rantings are pure comedic gold and I don’t want to have to dig through all the comments to find them.
But Sarcasm Man: Don’t you realize that global warming really helps with controlling greenhouse gasses because as the earth warms, we can turn down our destructive, carbon emitting heaters!
The warmer it is in winter and spring will get more people out walking instead of hiding in their carbon emitting cars.
The warmer it is in the summer will keep the cattle from eating so much and thereby emitting more carbon causing gasses. Their increased eating in the winter and spring will be offset by the reduced use of heaters and other countries’ cows who are in summer and therefore eat less.
With the warming of the earth, less coats, mittens and other cold weather clothing will have to be made by those carbon emitting machines.
So, you see, it will all work out in the end.
Good because anything that tastes good is bad for you. Such as deep fried snickers or shame sticks (sticks of butter coated with sugar on a stick).
Posted by: Joel on March 15, 2007 11:49 AM
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!. Why am I only just now hearing about this sugar coated butter on a stick thing? I have heard about deep fried snickers and mars bars but why was I not informed about this Sugar, butter, stick, food of the gods combination? Up until now I have only used sticks of butter to stir my coffee. This has the potential of changing my life.
I think Global Warming will taste like the snot that just blew out of my sinus cavity from laughing so hard.
I WANT SUGARED BUTTER ON A STICK!!!!
Oh and thanks for the “sarc-‘man'” translation, I wouldn’t understand what it meant otherwise.
Wow, I actually read Sarc man’s rantings and they are as funny as I expected.
I do have one question, you claim that the Mars wobbling (I hope it’s a weeble) is causing their global worming.
Is the Earth’s wobble causing our global worming?
That’s easy! It would be one of two flavors:
1. Lime Jello – shiney, wiggly and mesmerizing, but, in the end, nothing of any substance
…or…
2. A load of crap – for obvious reasons…
It would have the distinct taste of ManBearPig droppings.
It would be fizzy from all the carbon dioxide.
Burnt Pop Corn
Cotton candy, for the same reasons as FormerHostage’s reasons for lime jello.
I hope that it tastes like andouille with red beans and rice. I really like andouille with red beans and rice.
A creamy nougat center enveloped in a layer of fresh horse excrement.
I always thought it would be glazed.
Ok,
For those of you who haven’t already taken up the practice of eating your carbon offsets.
Canadians — Chicken
Italians — Chicken, Broccoli
Blue state Americans — Chicken, what else would it be.
Scandinavians — Chicken, Mackerel
Frenchmen — Veal
Spanish — Rice and Chicken
Caribbean – Mango Chicken
South Americans — Rice and Chicken
Chinese — Chicken or Pork with a side of rice.
German — Chicken Sausage
Mexican — Chicken Taco’s
Australians — Marsupial Chicken
San Franciscan — Um, I wont even go there.
Arabs — BACON, Oh just kidding, Chicken, lamb or goat.
Bon Appetit!!!
Good because anything that tastes good is bad for you. Such as deep fried snickers or shame sticks (sticks of butter coated with sugar on a stick).
I made Global Warming Soup and it was deeeelicious.
It tastes just like Rock Soup. The recipe is almost the same except instead of the rock, you use Global Warming.
Global Warming tastes like Fascism!
it tastes nutty. totally nutty.
you guys are completely wrong…it would most definetly taste like jalapenos marinated in a luscious flamin hot sauce topped with a delectable red cherry, yes red
all of you are totally wrong it would taste like toasted and roasted small rodents that come from africa.
I thought it would taste like bony, dead Africans.
After much testing and accurate Taste Prediction modeling, I have found that no matter what you enter as data, the model consistently reports that Global Warmind tastes like wet ass. Anyone that denies the validity of tis model or the research is a denier working for Halliburton and Big Oil.
I hear it tastes like polar bear. But not a good, meaty polar bear. Something skinny and stringy that’s been stuck on a drifting patch of ice because it’s too stupid to remember that it knows how to swim.
Oh, and for ther record, stupid, stringy polar bear tastes kinda like chicken.
It would taste like bourbon. Al Gore purchases
bourbon offsets.
Consider this — how can nothing, have a taste??
It would taste like whatever you imagine-since it is imaginary.
It’s taste is unpredictably destructive.
“It tastes like burning! Owwwww…”
It won’t be very tasty for those that go hungry because of global warming. Sure the polar bears will go extinct and maybe some of you think that is funny for some reason? But what about here in the U.S. Food could even get very expensive here in the U.S pretty quickly. Take last year’s fierce heat wave in California that killed tens of thousands of cattle. During that heat wave last year it was so freakishly hot at night that thousands of bats dropped dead. If that kind of heat wave becomes a yearly or twice a year occurence in California even the U.S. will see food problems. Initally global warming may actually increase crop growth and make for more nice comfy days at the beach with tons of hot chicks and kegs of beer too but in a couple of decades it won’t be so fun. The heat waves that hit cities and cause thousands of people to drop dead won’t be fun at all. It is the hot night temperatures you need to watch not so much the day temperatures. Those are the real killer heat waves and they are going to become more and more common.
blah blah blah look at me! blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah humor? what’s that? blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah look at me! blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah more libtard ranting blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah !!!!!
Sarc Man,
You are an idiot wrapped in a moron. To do anything about global warming we’d have to turn down the sun. Or do you think man is causing the icecaps on Mars to melt at the same time it is allegedly warming up one degree in the last 100 years here?
And that right there is why it’s so darn funny.
100 years ago the margin of error on a thermometer was probably around 10%. I would bet that even 50 years ago the margin of error was over 1%. It’s only been in the last 10 or 20 years, when computers became small and cheap enough for more uses, that thermometers became extremely accurate.
I’m pretty sure that in 1900 they took their thermometer, shoved it into ice and marked “32 degrees” and then shoved it into boiling water and marked “212” and then filled in the middle.
Without some serious measuring devices you can’t figure out the exact volume to make the thermometer mathematically correct. Heck, you can’t even make the inside of the thermometer an exact size without calipers or something equally exact.
The whole “0.6 degrees celcius” is just fudge-factor mixed with a guess because the first number, “A gajillion”, wasn’t plausible.
Sarc Man,
You are an idiot wrapped in a moron. To do anything about global warming we’d have to turn down the sun. Or do you think man is causing the icecaps on Mars to melt at the same time it is allegedly warming up one degree in the last 100 years here?
Actually you are the idiot moron all wrapped in one entity. The Mars icecap reduction is a solar event due to the large moonless wobble of the Mars planet. It’s a coincidence and does not mean Earth’s warming is a purely solar event. Mars lacks the greenhouse effect we have here on Earth. That’s why making an argument like “there are no cars on Mars” to dispute global warming is outrageously stupid. Without the greenhouse effect we would be a humanless cold horror sphere like Mars where temps dive down to -100 celcius. But the same atmosphere that helps us exist could also get us killed. The more greenhouse gases that get pumped into the atmosphere the more the Earth will warm. The same guy (Abdussamatov) who argues this solar warming theory for Earth also believes the Earth will stop warming soon and then cool dramatically in about 15 years. It will be painfully obvious that he was wrong as the Earth’s temps continue to warm. We need new technologies that reduce greenhouse gases. Reducing greenhouse gases also has the added benefit of reducing pollution and helping people with breathing problems and helping the environment.
blah blah blah blah blah blah global cooling blah blah blah oops, i mean global warming blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah uninformed blathering blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah leftie talking point blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah i am so smart – my mommy tells me so blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Frank,
Is there any way you could get Sarcasm Man to post on the main page? His angry rantings are pure comedic gold and I don’t want to have to dig through all the comments to find them.
But Sarcasm Man: Don’t you realize that global warming really helps with controlling greenhouse gasses because as the earth warms, we can turn down our destructive, carbon emitting heaters!
The warmer it is in winter and spring will get more people out walking instead of hiding in their carbon emitting cars.
The warmer it is in the summer will keep the cattle from eating so much and thereby emitting more carbon causing gasses. Their increased eating in the winter and spring will be offset by the reduced use of heaters and other countries’ cows who are in summer and therefore eat less.
With the warming of the earth, less coats, mittens and other cold weather clothing will have to be made by those carbon emitting machines.
So, you see, it will all work out in the end.
Good because anything that tastes good is bad for you. Such as deep fried snickers or shame sticks (sticks of butter coated with sugar on a stick).
Posted by: Joel on March 15, 2007 11:49 AM
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!. Why am I only just now hearing about this sugar coated butter on a stick thing? I have heard about deep fried snickers and mars bars but why was I not informed about this Sugar, butter, stick, food of the gods combination? Up until now I have only used sticks of butter to stir my coffee. This has the potential of changing my life.
I think Global Warming will taste like the snot that just blew out of my sinus cavity from laughing so hard.
I WANT SUGARED BUTTER ON A STICK!!!!
Oh and thanks for the “sarc-‘man'” translation, I wouldn’t understand what it meant otherwise.
Wow, I actually read Sarc man’s rantings and they are as funny as I expected.
I do have one question, you claim that the Mars wobbling (I hope it’s a weeble) is causing their global worming.
Is the Earth’s wobble causing our global worming?
Wobble wobble wobble wobble wobble wobble wobble wobble wobble wobble wobble wobble.
April 15th