WASHINGTON DC (AP) – After it was widely reported that Democrat Congressman Alan Grayson of Florida called Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke’s aide and former Enron lobbyist, Linda Robertson, “a K Street whore“, prostitutes working the K Street area demanded an apology.
Silky Sparkles, spokestrollop for the Washington D.C. Adult Companionship Workers Local 269, said that she and her fellow K Street strumpets objected to Grayson’s demeaning use of the word “whore”.
“Being a whore is an honorable profession,” said Ms. Sparkles. “Sure, we do disgusting things with lonely, smelly, fat guys – like Mr. Grayson – in exchange for money, but Robertson lobbied for Enron. I mean… EWWWWW! It’s like, yeah, for enough Benjamins I’ll do ya a Cleveland Clamper or a Seattle Sashimi, but I’ve got STANDARDS! No Denver Danglers, and no working for Enron.”
National Organization for Women (NOW) President Kim Gandy also found the incident disturbing.
“The word ‘whore’ is deeply offensive to all women,” said Gandy. “It’s often reserved for women who step beyond male-patrolled sexual boundaries and is an obscene and especially degrading put-down toward a woman whose only crime is earning a living. However, since Grayson is a Democrat, we’re totally going to let this one slide. Besides, why would we stick up for some stupid whore Republican?”
When informed that Robertson was a Democrat, Gandy shrugged and replied, “Whatever. We mind our own business with Blue-on-Blue.”
After originally having his staff tell reporters to “go check the second definition of ‘whore’ in your stupid whore dictionaries, you damn news whores!”, Grayson later held a press conference where he apologized.
“Some people,” said Grayson, “were offended by my use of the word ‘whore’. I ask you to note that I could’ve called Robertson a chancrous, ill-mannered, gutter-slut – but I didn’t. I could’ve called her a crack-addled, knee-padding, man-gargler – but I didn’t. But I did call her a ‘whore’ – in the context of the debate over whether the Federal Reserve should be independently audited – and for that slip of the tongue… I apologize.”
“As for you actual K Street whores,” concluded Grayson, “I’ll be by later tonight for my Denver Dangler.”