Straight Line of the Day: Why Didn’t You Make It To Obama’s Inauguration?

Posted on January 22, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Why didn’t you make it to Obama’s inauguration?

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82 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Why Didn’t You Make It To Obama’s Inauguration?”

  1. rodney dill says:

    …my new Jeep hadn’t arrived from China yet.

  2. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …Air Force One forgot to pick me up and my Obamaphone went on the fritz.

  3. srm000 says:

    I got stopped by Old Man Willow on the way. We burned him down along with the rest of the plastic trees planted by Michelle.

  4. Writer says:

    . . . after the last four years of Obama in charge, I couldn’t afford the gas.

  5. Writer says:

    . . . I had already seen parades in Red Square for new Premiers.

  6. Writer says:

    . . . my Doctor recommended that I skip this one due to my extreme Allergy to Hippies.

  7. Dohtimes says:

    …wallowing in my own filth was a much better option than getting near that cesspool.

    …I ain’t afraid of ghosts but getting slimed by a highly P O’d MLK is just not worth the chance.

    …I failed the moron test by 2 points.

  8. Uncle Kevvie, That's Who says:

    Hey, I had a really full-up day and just couldn’t squeeze in Barry, Mooch and all those kids.
    8am –There I was, trying my hardest to ‘get rid of yesterday’, and it took quite some time……
    1015 Am –Whew, glad ‘that’s’ over, what’s doin’ now…? Oh JEEZ, I clean fer’-got to reserve me a place at the D C Par-Tay….What’s a Metrosexual,Multi-Cultural Guy to do?
    2pm–I give up, it’s all just too confusing. I’ll just go celebrate at that new, hip bistro that has
    German-Chinese Fusion Cuisine. You eat it, you get hungry again, waayyy too soon, and you just want to go out and kill someone or something innocent that looks kinda’ like you…….while walking in really straight lines and saluting in a particular manner…….
    8pm–Aren’t Wolf and Candice just the most adorable things…? But that ‘Piers Guy’, now he’s just the living end……of a colon………
    2am today—–No, I don’t want another ShamWow…….

  9. Max says:

    I already had purchased non-refundable tickets to my local gun show.

  10. Manse says:

    I was in the lab cloning Reagan’s DNA fragments.

  11. 9vMojo says:

    i had to make green jello, fold some paper bags flat, and prep for a colonoscopy. But, it was a tough choice. P-/ arrr

  12. CarolyntheMommy says:

    Aliens invaded and stopped me from going. They used to be illegal aliens but I guess we call them legal now, so it’s all okay.

  13. CTCompromise says:

    Why didn’t you make it to Obama’s inauguration? I was out looking for Hugo Chavez.

  14. CTCompromise says:

    Why didn’t you make it to Obama’s inauguration? I was afraid of lightning strikes when he put his hand on the bibles.

  15. CTCompromise says:

    Why didn’t you make it to Obama’s inauguration? ……..I was still wiped out from all the kwanza parties.

  16. CTCompromise says:

    Why didn’t you make it to Obama’s inauguration?….I had to work- As Brilliant Biden would say, it comes down to 4 letters: J-O-B.

  17. CTCompromise says:

    Why didn’t you make it to Obama’s inauguration?…….my unicorn was sick.

  18. CTCompromise says:

    Why didn’t you make it to Obama’s inauguration?…..Because it felt like a cold day in Hell…oh, wait…

  19. CTCompromise says:

    Why didn’t you make it to Obama’s inauguration?….Because I love this country.

  20. Jimmy says:

    Because I’m racist!

    (@48: Cars don’t pick-up Cats. They run over them.)

  21. john callow says:

    Because they didn’t have Rosanne sing the Star Spangled Banner…(at least she actually sang…sucked the big one, but sang)

  22. Duke of Earl says:

    I was busy counting the number of rounds in my magazines so that Governor Cuomo doesn’t feel threatened.

  23. GrandLarsenE says:

    I had to do something less painfully nauseating. Pull off my toenails with a pair of pliers.

  24. Tau Dades says:

    … I was busy watching Pinky and the Brain to determine what Barry’s next step towards world domination was.

  25. Hunter says:

    Because living out my remaining years having never been wanted for aggravated assault, or worse, remains one of my life-long goals. Why risk it?

  26. Vegas Grue says:

    3/5ths of me wanted to go. The other 2/5ths convinced me not to go.

  27. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …I knew I should have made that left turn at Albuquerque.

  28. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …A raggedy man in a blue box crashed in my yard. After going through all the food in my fridge to find something he liked, he stuffed himself with fish fingers and custard. He promised to take me on a trip in his blue box, but left and never came back. I was up all night waiting for him to return and I ended up sleeping through the inauguration.

  29. morigu says:

    had to be sure the paint dried and watching it with baited anticipation was more than i could take for one day….
    the new hi-speed train from my house in the boonies hasn’t been finished yet, seems there’s some insignificant bug thats endangered, holding up the project. so i said atleast the bugs got to live.

  30. CCO says:

    Bob @78, how do I fix my antenna to get that channel?

  31. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Why didn’t you make it to Obama’s inauguration?” […]

  32. Bob in Feenicks says:

    #80 CCO:

    I would recommend a sonic screwdriver.
    -While wearing a fez… fezes are cool.

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