Frank, if Truth Peddler’s plan doesn’t work out, would you be opposed to importing monkeys or breeding them for testing purposes? Please remember that the monkeys will almost certainly be killed because of the research. Also remember that this would piss off PETA freaks.
We could set some “cach’em alive” traps baited with monkeys. Then we’d have a boat load of PETA freaks to test on.
BTW: to the ELF dirtbag that placed a “device” on an electric distrobution tower outside of Philadelphia: Beware of armed citizens and patriots.
Repost –
– All the monkeys have rediscovered their long ago ancester “Kenny”….the first space chimp, and moved to outer space…
– There must be a hidden meaning in there somewhere…That people actually enjoy hurdling their bodies at 18,000 mph into an unknown void inside a high priced tin can on top of a 2 meggaton bomb….Space Monkeys indeed,,,,
Plenty of hippies available in San Francisco and Berkeley.
And when those run out just follow the Grateful Dead tour.
After that, the ACLU, CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the DNCC and Hollywood.
Oh, and I almost forgot, all the figgin’ IDIOTS in Taxachusetts and New York that voted in the Poodle, the Drunk Lifeguard and the Hildabeast.
But there there is a new breed of monkey out there too….
The Mangani, Located At Last
The ape was a great bull, weighing probably three hundred pounds. His nasty, close-set eyes gleamed hatred from beneath his shaggy brows, while his great canine fangs were bared in a horrid snarl as he paused a moment before his prey. –From Edgar Rice Burrough’s Tarzan of The Apes
Kerchak, the leader of the ape tribe known as the Mangani, killed Tarzan’s father. Tarzan was then raised by a female member of the same tribe, Kala–also later killed by Kerchak, an act for which Tarzan later wreaks bloody revenge.
For years, a low level geek debate has raged–Was Burrough’s story fiction, or was it some stretched version of the truth?
The mangani have a spoken language of some complexity. Again, this puts them closer to humans on the evolutionary scale than to any other creature.
And so, although they are called “great apes,” the conclusion drawn by most people who study the Tarzan stories is that they are subhumans rather than super-apes, perhaps some rare hominid, such as language-using pithecanthropoids. Philip Farmer speculates that the mangani may be a smaller African variety of the Himalayan yeti or the giant sasquatch of the Pacific Northwest. He offers that they may have been a giant variety of Australopithecus robustus, a hominid supposed to be extinct. They may have been the agogwe of native African legend.
We also know that male mangani were subject to maniacal fits of rage. Farmer speculates that this may be a “nonsurvival trait that had tended to reduce the population of the genus, which had been very low for thousands of years. This instability may have helped them lose out in the race for the kingship of Earth in the dawn of sentience. The gorilla, their closest relative after man, had also lost the race. . . . The huge vegetarian gorillas, though not nearly as intelligent as the mangani, and not numerous, still outnumbered the mangani by a hundred to one. It is doubtful that there were over two hundred [mangani] left in equatorial Africa in 1889.”
Presumably, they are extinct today.
Or perhaps they aren’t.
Primatologist Shelly Williams is thought to be the only scientist to have seen the apes.
During her visit to DR Congo two years ago, she says she captured them on video and located their nests.
She describes her encounter with them: “Four suddenly came rushing out of the bush towards me,” she told New Scientist.
“If this had been a bluff charge, they would have been screaming to intimidate us. These guys were quiet. And they were huge. They were coming in for the kill. I was directly in front of them, and as soon as they saw my face, they stopped and disappeared.”
…
The discovery has baffled scientists. There are three controversial possibilities to explain the origin of the mystery apes:
They are a new species of ape
They are giant chimpanzees, much larger than any so far recorded, but behave like gorillas
They could be hybrids, the product of gorillas mating with chimpanzees.
So far, researchers have little to go on, but they now plan to return to northern DR Congo to study the apes further.
(http://silflayhraka.com/)
Michael Moore is big enough to take the place of a thousand monkeys, dontchathink? Maybe a trap for him should be set. A biiiiiig trap. He smells worse, though.
In one way its a success story because the risk of being killed by monkeys is down and yet we now have a shortage mokeys to couter terrorism.
I guess you have to ask yourself what’s more dangerous evil monkeys or terrorists?
I’m not sure if I have the answer or in that case even want to know the answer.
first!
if we run out of monkeys we can just use liberals in their place. they smell and look about the same. and I think they both pick bugs off each other.
Frank, if Truth Peddler’s plan doesn’t work out, would you be opposed to importing monkeys or breeding them for testing purposes? Please remember that the monkeys will almost certainly be killed because of the research. Also remember that this would piss off PETA freaks.
We could set some “cach’em alive” traps baited with monkeys. Then we’d have a boat load of PETA freaks to test on.
BTW: to the ELF dirtbag that placed a “device” on an electric distrobution tower outside of Philadelphia: Beware of armed citizens and patriots.
Perhaps it’s time for Bush to ease up federal control of the national monkey reserves?
NO BLOOD FOR MONKEYS!
Repost –
– All the monkeys have rediscovered their long ago ancester “Kenny”….the first space chimp, and moved to outer space…
– There must be a hidden meaning in there somewhere…That people actually enjoy hurdling their bodies at 18,000 mph into an unknown void inside a high priced tin can on top of a 2 meggaton bomb….Space Monkeys indeed,,,,
Monkees + Microwave ovens – Ummmmm, smells like home
Plenty of hippies available in San Francisco and Berkeley.
And when those run out just follow the Grateful Dead tour.
After that, the ACLU, CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the DNCC and Hollywood.
Oh, and I almost forgot, all the figgin’ IDIOTS in Taxachusetts and New York that voted in the Poodle, the Drunk Lifeguard and the Hildabeast.
But there there is a new breed of monkey out there too….
The Mangani, Located At Last
The ape was a great bull, weighing probably three hundred pounds. His nasty, close-set eyes gleamed hatred from beneath his shaggy brows, while his great canine fangs were bared in a horrid snarl as he paused a moment before his prey. –From Edgar Rice Burrough’s Tarzan of The Apes
Kerchak, the leader of the ape tribe known as the Mangani, killed Tarzan’s father. Tarzan was then raised by a female member of the same tribe, Kala–also later killed by Kerchak, an act for which Tarzan later wreaks bloody revenge.
For years, a low level geek debate has raged–Was Burrough’s story fiction, or was it some stretched version of the truth?
The mangani have a spoken language of some complexity. Again, this puts them closer to humans on the evolutionary scale than to any other creature.
And so, although they are called “great apes,” the conclusion drawn by most people who study the Tarzan stories is that they are subhumans rather than super-apes, perhaps some rare hominid, such as language-using pithecanthropoids. Philip Farmer speculates that the mangani may be a smaller African variety of the Himalayan yeti or the giant sasquatch of the Pacific Northwest. He offers that they may have been a giant variety of Australopithecus robustus, a hominid supposed to be extinct. They may have been the agogwe of native African legend.
We also know that male mangani were subject to maniacal fits of rage. Farmer speculates that this may be a “nonsurvival trait that had tended to reduce the population of the genus, which had been very low for thousands of years. This instability may have helped them lose out in the race for the kingship of Earth in the dawn of sentience. The gorilla, their closest relative after man, had also lost the race. . . . The huge vegetarian gorillas, though not nearly as intelligent as the mangani, and not numerous, still outnumbered the mangani by a hundred to one. It is doubtful that there were over two hundred [mangani] left in equatorial Africa in 1889.”
Presumably, they are extinct today.
Or perhaps they aren’t.
Primatologist Shelly Williams is thought to be the only scientist to have seen the apes.
During her visit to DR Congo two years ago, she says she captured them on video and located their nests.
She describes her encounter with them: “Four suddenly came rushing out of the bush towards me,” she told New Scientist.
“If this had been a bluff charge, they would have been screaming to intimidate us. These guys were quiet. And they were huge. They were coming in for the kill. I was directly in front of them, and as soon as they saw my face, they stopped and disappeared.”
…
The discovery has baffled scientists. There are three controversial possibilities to explain the origin of the mystery apes:
They are a new species of ape
They are giant chimpanzees, much larger than any so far recorded, but behave like gorillas
They could be hybrids, the product of gorillas mating with chimpanzees.
So far, researchers have little to go on, but they now plan to return to northern DR Congo to study the apes further.
(http://silflayhraka.com/)
Whithout monkeys, what will I torture?
Oh, that’s right! MICHAEL MOORE!
…gonna need a bigger electric cattle prod, though!
Michael Moore is big enough to take the place of a thousand monkeys, dontchathink? Maybe a trap for him should be set. A biiiiiig trap. He smells worse, though.
This can’t be good news…
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2004/10/1006_041006_chimps.html
In one way its a success story because the risk of being killed by monkeys is down and yet we now have a shortage mokeys to couter terrorism.
I guess you have to ask yourself what’s more dangerous evil monkeys or terrorists?
I’m not sure if I have the answer or in that case even want to know the answer.