WASHINGTON (AP) – In response to the video from Al-Qaeda’s #2 – Ayman al-Zawahri – calling on Muslims to unite in Jihad, President Bush today released a video of himself pretending to be frightened by the threat.
Bush begins the video by standing in front of the desk in the Oval Office, saying, “Oh no! I’ve angered the crazy Muslims and now they’re going to jihad me!” in a voice almost Shatneresque in its degree of melodramatic overacting.
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“OO!” continues the President, making cartoonish nail-biting gestures, “I’m SO scared! Whatever shall I do?”
Bush then dashes around the room, flapping his arms like a little girl or John Edwards, while trying and ultimately rejecting various hiding places, such as under the desk and behind the curtains. In one scene, he retrieves a hand towel from the Executive Washroom, places it over his head and declares “Please don’t hurt me! I’ll be a good girl and wear my burka!” in a high-pitched voice.
“Look at me! I’m a Muslim now! I’ve got a hostage!” the President continues, chasing his dog Barney around the room with a letter opener while making exaggerated stabbing motions and shouting “Allah Snakbar!” “Hollah Hacksaw!”, “Cheese-a Crakar!”, and “Walla Walla Washington!”
Bush then flops into his office chair, giggling hysterically.
“Please don’t threaten me anymore! The terror is just too terrifying!” he says between snorts of laughter. The President then does a Macaulay Culkin “Home Alone” imitation, screaming “AAAAAAAAH!” while holding his hands to his face before falling to the floor, guffawing helplessly, as the camera fades to black.
The video ends with Bush saying over the black screen “Oh man, I think I wet myself… better have Mitt Romney come in and hose me off,” which trails off into more laughter as the clip finishes.
If Bush were to do this in real life, he would instantly become the greatest US President of all time. That, or pilot a giant robot.
ZK, you just beat me to it.
I’d pay admission to hear something like that.
Let’s have a link to that video!!!
“Allah Snakbar!”
LMAO! I’d just about pay to hear him use THAT line!
In reality Bush is a scared sissy. On 9/11 he flew around in his plane for hours and hours cause he was so scared and such a little girly man. He let Dick call all the shots and even let Dick decide not to shoot down any planes even though a hijacked plane was headed to DC and there was plenty of time. Bush is still a wimpy man today and constantly needs Dick Cheney to hold his hand.
Ron Paul is much braver than Bush wimp or Frony. Plus Ron just kicked ass in Q2 and raised 2.4 million. Do a Ron Paul post. IMAO’s traffic is suffering without them. No one cares about anything anymore except Ron Paul.
Man, that’s one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time! “Cheese-a Crakar!” ROFL
Wow… Ron Paul supporters really ARE weird…
Your best ever, Harvey, and that’s going some.
We are not worthy.
If you distribute this video as a “Documentary,” I could see Dubya receiving an Oscar nomination…
That’s funny, SM, I thought they believed Bush set 9/11 up in your corner of the loony bin. In which case, what would he have to be scared of? Oh wait, I’m asking for logic, consistency, and sanity. Silly me.
As for this typing tic calling Fred a crony; crony of whom?
Sarcasm Man: Lamest Robot Master ever.
Hey Harvey!
Guess what! Just saw Bush’s video on Al Jazeera television. Al Jazeera is reporting that Al Qaeda intelligence officials have confirmed that the video is authentic, that the person in the video is really President Bush and that the dog is indeed Barney. According to Al Jazeera, Al Qaeda has issued a code red alert and Bin Laden is currently warning all Terrorists to be on the lookout for any suspicious looking soldiers dressed in US army fatigues. Apparently, they are taking the President’s video very seriously. Harvey! How did you get to this story before Al Jazeera did?
Originally, I had thought Sarcasm Man to be no more than your average troll. He is no longer that. With that last entry, he has now fallen to the bottom of the heap.
Congratulations.