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Cheney will be acting President for at least two hours tomorrow.
Consider this fair warning to the liberal blogosphere.
Archive of entries posted on 20th July 2007
Ronin Profiles: Veeshir
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Let’s meet another IMAO reader. Today, it’s Veeshir.
What’s the story behind your name?
My last name is “Fisher”, when I was in grammar school a friend used to call me “Meeester Feeeesher” and he kept lengthening it until it was “Meeeeeeeeeester Veeeeeeshir” (His spelling, I used to spell it “Veesher”). Since both my first and last names are very common while there is only one Veeshir, I went with that so as not to be confused with anyone else.
Where do you live?
Historic Alexandria, Va.
How old are you?
44, I’m all excited. I’m only about 10 years or so from being a dirty, old man. That’s been my goal since I was 16.
Tell us briefly about yourself.
I retired for my 20s and saw the world (through rose-colored eyes). When I was 30, I realized it was time to start pretending to be an adult so I went back to school and got a BS in Mechanical Engineering. Now? I never do engineering work. Funny how that works out. Little known Veeshir Vact, I’m blind in one eye.
Ever spend time wondering what a nuclear blast on the moon would really look like?
Actually no, I have a shirt with a picture and everything. Considering you sold me the shirt, I would think you would know that.
How long have you been reading IMAO?
Nearly 5 years, I’m not sure when I started, it was probably after the first time the Emperor linked to you but before you were first called FrnakJ. The first comment by me I can find is from October, 2002, back when your comment button said, ‘IYAO’. [That would be back when IMAO was on Blogspot. -Ed]
What’s your favorite IMAO post?
I don’t think I have just one. I have favorite lines, with my personal favorite probably being when Kim Jong Il said he needed nukes to be able to reduce the size of his army. Rumsfeld responded with something like, “Tell him I too have a plan for reducing the size of his army that involves nukes.” I do miss your “Links of the Day”, those were usually pretty fun.
What’s your favorite political issue?
Don’t have one anymore, I’m totally sick of politics. That’s why I mostly just attempt humor in my comments. The W2 shirt you sold me does encapsulate the two issues most dear to my heart, “4 more years of low taxes and dead terrorists”.
If you could magically turn any one person into a three-legged goat, who would it be and why?
Hassan Nasrallah, so I could watch his followers turn him into a gyro. That would be funny.
If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone.
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Obama: Not Really Feeling the Genocide
Barack Obama has said that he doesn’t think preventing genocide is a good enough reason to stay in Iraq.
IRAQI PEOPLE: “Help us, Obama! If America leaves, we’ll all be slaughtered!”
OBAMA: “Does this look like the face of someone who cares?”
That’s cold. Maybe Obama is presidential. Then again, while he doesn’t see the big deal about genocide, the issues he does find important are probably like gay marriage and broadband internet for the poor.
At least he’s honest about it.
America Can’t Win the ”War on Steam”
An Editorial by Harvey
During New York’s Wednesday rush hour, a steam pipe exploded, killing one person and injuring 44.
Incidents such as this make it obvious that the only sensible course of action is to withdraw from America’s insane War on Steam.
“When left unmolested, steam lives up to its name as ‘the vapor of peace'”
President Bush’s Hitler-like scheme of rounding up steam and putting it in concentration camps – or “pipes”, as he euphemistically calls them – is a dismal failure. It does nothing but anger the steam and cause it to lash out uncontrollably, as it did in New York, spewing a “dirty bomb” of carcinogenic asbestos into the air. We don’t have to ask “why does steam hate us?”. The answer is obvious – because America is a brutal, oppressive country with no rights, whose only goal is to prevent steam from living free.
The Bush Steam Doctrine of “contain, concentrate, condense” is absurd and unnecessary. When left unmolested, steam lives up to its name as “the vapor of peace”, seeking only to be left alone to expand or contract inversely proportional to its pressure in accordance with the sacred texts of the Prophet Boyle.
It’s only Bush’s fascist policy of trying to maintain complete control over steam’s movement that has brought this current horror upon us. To be truthful, we deserve it. Who are we to judge the rightness of wrongness of our moist and gaseous fellow-travelers on Spaceship Earth? Should we consider ourselves “superior” to warm, dissipated moisture?
Hardly.
The time has come to admit our failures, both military and moral, and stop treating innocent steam with an automatic assumption of guilt. We must release the steam from the “pipes” we’ve confined it to and let it roam freely.
The only sensible course of action is to bring our plumbers home, and end our government’s policy of cruelty. It’s time to withdraw from the War on Steam.
America must stop trying to be the world’s teakettle.
Harvey is a non-disabled Navy veteran accidentally hired to fill an affirmative action quota at IMAO.us. He is also the author of such books as “Boiling Mad: Stihad in America” and “Hot & Wet: A Pictoral History of Steamy Love Scenes”.
Serious Times, Silly People
Here’s yet another recommended diary at the Daily Kos where one of the Kwazy Kos Kids is warning of the impending dictatorship and how they must do something to stop it. Let’s take it as a fact that they honestly believe in their hearts that they’re the only ones who see the end of America coming and know they must take action, then what exactly do these hysterical ninnies think they can do to stop a dictatorship? Are they going to attack it with the combined might of their impotence? Overpower it with their rank odor? Whine and shriek until it surrenders?
I had a friend in college who did live action role playing games. That’s where they would run around the city play acting that they were vampires. He was very earnest in explaining it to me and my roommate which is why it was so entertaining to make fun of him. Anyway, DailyKos is a bit like a live action role playing game where the Kwazy Kos Kids live in a fantasy world of danger and intrigue and they pretend they’re doing stuff about it. The difference is that the Democrats don’t pretend to care about the interests of people pretending to be vampires nor kowtow to their demands in the hope of good vampire press and donation money.
Bleh
It’s Friday and I’m tired, so here’s a link to unintentionally hilarious Superman covers. Is that really how they teased comic books back in the day? That Superman is mean. One comic actually poses the question “Who would win in a fight to the death between Jimmy Olsen and Aquaman?” Kill him, Aquaman! Kill him!
Fun Trivia
A judge threw out the lawsuit of secret agent media whore Valerie Plame. What was the judge’s other ruling?