Ronin Profiles: Jonag

Posted by Frank J. on 27 July 2007, 6:21 pm

*Jonag*

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Jonag.

What’s the story behind your name? Total inspiration. My first name is Jona (pronounced “John-uh”) and my last name starts with G. [Still more clever than “Frank J.” -Ed.]
Where do you live? I live in Gilbert, Arizona (about 20 minutes from Phoenix). We’ve been her 12 years and really hated it the first 5 years but now realise it’s a great place to raise kids so we’re staying put. One day I will meet Bob in Feenicks and DesertElephant for a beer in Tempe (whilst wearing our Nuke the Moon shirts) and much hippie bashing will ensue.
How old are you? 42
Tell us briefly about yourself. I was born and raised in Portland, Oregon. I have been happily married to Joey for 20 years and we have been blessed with 5 brilliant Rabid Reagan Republicans in the making. I have been homeschooling for over 11 years (including 3 hours of Rush Limbaugh 5 times a week, except when he talks naughty and we have to turn the radio off. I don’t want to hear “Mommy, what’s a Gorbasm?” just yet.)
I engage in a little bit of capitalism from my home which supports my sewing addiction and coffee habit.
How much do you hate hippies? A hippie once told my mom to go eff herself. Unfortunately for him he did it in front of my dad and sisters. They seriously effed him up. I wish I had been there.
Portland was once a beautiful town but the hippies have ruined it’s beauty and reputation (and odor). Another reason we’re not moving back.
How long have you been reading IMAO? I have been a FrankJ fan since the letter to Michael Moore of April 2003 (although it seems like forever really)
What’s your favorite IMAO post? My most favoritest post ever is this one: https://www.imao.us/index.php/2003/08/in-my-world-the-duke-versus-stalin/ The IMW: The Duke vs Stalin. Everybody should go read it. (oh, and #20 on this one: https://www.imao.us/index.php/2004/04/the-imao-t-shirt-babe-candidates/)
What’s you favorite political issue? It’s a toss-up between the war on terror and border security. I’m concerned that the flood of illegals will undo all my well laid (no pun intended) plans to destroy the democrat party by outbreeding them. I’ve already produced enough voters to undo all of my liberal sister’s family’s votes and still have 3 conservative votes left! Everyone should be doing their part.
Do you have a website? Not yet. When I get one it will be a pretty periwinkle color.
Do you ever wish you could control fire with your mind? Only when I’m flying over San Francisco.

If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Democrat Calls Republicans“Jihadists“, Muslims Offended

Posted by Harvey on 27 July 2007, 5:02 pm

WASHINGTON (AP) – During remarks about how Republicans may cause a government shutdown by sustaining President Bush’s vetoes of Democrat-sponsored spending bills, John W. Olver, (D-Mass.), chairman of the House Transportation-HUD Appropriations Subcommittee, referred to Republicans as “Jihadists”. Muslim groups responded with outrage at the comparison.

*Muslims thrilled at having something new to bitch about.*

“Jihadists are noble warriors in a just cause, “said CAIR spokesman Ibrahim Hooper, “while Republicans are nothing but money-grubbing, Jew-loving kafirs! Well, maybe not Jew-loving, since no on ACTUALLY loves the Jews, but they’re unquestionably Jew-likers, and that’s bad enough.”
“When Allah’s faithful seek to fund a war,” Hooper continued, “they don’t snivel over ‘spending bills’. They just hit up their oil-rich neighbors for some greenbacks. If the Republicans were true Jihadists, they’d be getting money from Saudi Arabia or Halliburton.”
Republicans were also quick to take umbrage at the name-calling.
“I can’t believe,” said Republican House Minority Leader John Boehner, “that jackass Olver had the gall to compare us to murderous thugs who kill people with explosive vests. We’re Republicans, for crying out loud! We’d use guns.”
Responding to the controversy, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi issued a rare public apology of behalf of the Democratic Party.
“I regret that Congressman Olver’s remarks may have been misinterpreted. The Democratic Party has nothing but admiration and respect for ALL races, creeds, and explosive preferences. We mean no insult to the loving and peaceful religion of Islam or its courageous and holy soldiers.”
“After all,” she continued, “we’re both on the same side in this war. We’re both committed to the goal of removing American troops from Iraq as soon as possible. No sense in bickering over a little thing like whether ‘dead’ or ‘alive’ would be preferable.”
“Now that I’ve offered this humble apology on behalf of the Democratic Party,” concluded Pelosi, “I hope the brave and honorable Muslim warriors of the world will seriously consider killing us last.”

But Secure Borders Might Mean I Have to Do Yard Work!

Posted by Frank J. on 27 July 2007, 3:46 pm

Wow. The Wall Street Journal actually printed this in an editorial for open borders:

The well-manicured lawns in my home town would soon become weed gardens in the absence of the Mexicans who man landscape services.

“You expect me to cut my own grass?! Our national sovereignty isn’t that important!”
I expect that sort of thing from limousine liberals, but from a paper that’s supposed to be a bastion of conservative thought? If you really can’t find any legal Americans to cut your lawn, try growing a pair and buy a John Deere.

Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

Posted by Harvey on 27 July 2007, 3:08 pm

John Edwards envies the way Rosie O’Donnell simply oozes machismo.
Bonus fact via American Digest and Esquire magazine, John Edwards is:
edwards sexy woman.jpg

Humor: Conservatives vs. Liberals

Posted by Frank J. on 27 July 2007, 2:08 pm

IMAO got a shout out from Jonah Goldberg in a discussion of humor and politics.
People find funny what people find funny, and thus I never got into discussions of who is funnier: Conservatives or liberals? The answer, of course, is that conservatives will find conservatives funnier and liberals will find liberals funnier. That’s not to say there aren’t some differences in approaches to humor between them, but at the core their doing jokes based on what their audiences believe to be true. Since conservatives and liberals believe fundamentally different things about some issues, humor tailored for one will fall flat for the other.
Jonah makes a good point on the perception of who is in power makes a difference. It’s sad to say it, but a Democrat president and Democrat majorities in Congress would be a huge boon to this site.
Update: Here’s the audio-only version.

I’ll Believe Him If He Says He Broke His Wrist “Getting It On“

Posted by Frank J. on 27 July 2007, 1:44 pm

John Edwards is now trying to overdo it in convincing everyone he’s straight by claiming he broke his wife’s rib while “getting it on.” What could be the actual explanation? Did she get to close to his hair gel and he hit her with a baseball bat in a fit of rage? No, wielding a baseball bat is still too manly to be plausible. Maybe he saw a spider and clung on to her way too tight.
What do you think happened?
(hat tip Conservative Grapevine)