John Edwards is now trying to overdo it in convincing everyone he’s straight by claiming he broke his wife’s rib while “getting it on.” What could be the actual explanation? Did she get to close to his hair gel and he hit her with a baseball bat in a fit of rage? No, wielding a baseball bat is still too manly to be plausible. Maybe he saw a spider and clung on to her way too tight.
What do you think happened?
(hat tip Conservative Grapevine)
I sure that’s what happened.
It just wasn’t Edwards she was getting it on with.
This has nothing to do with human ribs. His wife was deboning pork spareribs so John could eat them with utensils and one of them snapped.
I don’t want to know which sex or gender group is titillated by the image of Edwards “getting it on.”
There may have been some “getting it on”, but I bet she was alone. She probably just got too excited & fell off the toilet.
She was taking out the trash , he can’t lift heavy objects.
Maybe she caught him with her dress and as he was “getting it on” she tried to take it and he broke a rib.
I guess it was better for her to break a rib than go through the whole ‘it puts the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose’ routine.
Either that, or they were wrestling over the last tampon.
She broke it when John landed on her after she threw him in the air during their amateur ice-skating couples night. That triple lutz is a real bitch.
So Senator, have you stopped beating your wife yet?
New line of handbags at Barney’s. Just couldn’t contain his excitement.
He saw a picture of Fred Thompson, and subsequently broke her rib shoving her aside to run away in terror…
He pushed her down as he was trying run away from a scary rabbit.
It happened because they were practicing safe sex. He tripped walking over to the bed and he hit her in the side with his safety helmet as he fell. If he hadn’t been wearing knee, elbow and wrist guards he might have gotten an owie, too.
None of this would have happened if he’d been wearing his inflatable umpire’s chest protector.
Ugghh. Too much for my brain to handle. If I were his wife, I’d bust him in the nose for even mentioning something like this. Course, Cowboy knows better and would NEVER discuss our “dates” in public.
I think he IS trying to convince us. Kinda like the flip side of Jack Tripper trying to convince Mr. Ferly(?) that he IS gay. (Crap, that ages me.)
One of the buckles broke on the strap-on she was wearing and it flipped up, breaking her rib due to its massive size (Johnny prefers the big ones).
It’s too ugly to publish…John Edwards, Barney Frank, jilted wife tries to “intercede” and CRACK…
Or the new “Snap-On Extra Large” exerted too much stress on the straps and CRACK…
Rumor has it that while Jon-Jon was “pulling up the rear,” Lizzy and Lance were spotted “pumping away” on a tandem bike, about a mile or so up the road…
“”The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” Shakespeare in Hamlet (III, ii, 239). Such an appropriate play for Demoncrats.
Holy Bad Kama Sutra Positions, Batman! If I were inclined to believe this, I’d have to assume he wasn’t doing something right. His orientation had to be off. Heh heh.
I would be very careful getting too close to a woman named “Tipper.” Sounds like a job description from the 1800’s for an employee of a boys’ choir.
The woman has bone cancer. She will continue to weaken and become frail. Let’s keep away from this one, guys. We’ll start to look kos nasty.
Been trying not to ponder this one too much…but if you break the other person’s rib, doesn’t that sort of imply that you aren’t doing it right? Not that there’s anything wrong with that…