Ronin Profiles: ussjimmycarter

ussjimmycarter

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s ussjimmycarter.


What’s the story behind your name? I like the irony of an attack US nuclear submarine named after a dufus like Jimmy Carter who I loathe.
Where do you live? Mound, MN which is a suburb of Minneapolis in occupied territory of
the People’s Republic of Minnesota.
How old are you? 54
Tell us briefly about yourself. I didn’t do very well in college (Party Time) so I became an IT
guy. I am a Program Manager by trade. I married my high school girlfriend and I ride motorcycles.
Do you know thine enemy? Hippies, Hillary Clinton, Harry Reid and Al Franken who will probably get elected as our next Senator here in Minnesota (sigh).
How long have you been reading IMAO? 3 years, it’s my favorite blog since I discovered it!
What’s your favorite IMAO post? In My World! They are the best!
What’s you favorite political issue? Right now it’s Republican stupid! When I watch the Democrats and what they have to offer it’s truly amazing that the Republicans ever lose to these guys on any issue in any election in any state period!
Do you have a website? No!
Why are there wars? We’ve spent a lot of money on our military and how much fun would it be if they never got to kick someone’s ass?


If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

I Heard Robert Byrd Won “Best Costume” For His “Grand Wizard” Outfit

House Speaker and 67-year-old grandmother Nancy Pelosi has been voted the #4 Most Beautiful Person on Capitol Hill.
Seriously.
Personally, I don’t understand the result, but since I hate mysteries, I’ll just take my best guesses about how this might have happened:


Enik says: Nancy’s hot!
  • Her roughly tanned skin locked up the leather fetishist vote.
  • Power is a strong aphrodisiac, and so – apparently – is undermining the war effort.
  • Ballot box stuffed by people who are irresistably attracted to pointy, plastic noses.
  • Let’s just say she took some “cinematic tips” from Paris Hilton, and let you Google it from there.
  • Voting done entirely by blind people. Turns out Nancy is actually stunningly attractive in braille.
  • Poll reflects opinions of Arab men who voted according to how much better she’d look in a burka.
  • Should’ve been Al Gore. Stupid butterfly ballots!
  • You have to admit that it’s darned impressive that a 67-year-old woman had the stamina to sleep her way that far up the list.
  • In her own way, Nancy IS “beautiful”. Just like she “supports” the troops.
  • Uncaught typo led to ballots reading “hideously disfigured Sleestak-looking freak” instead of “beautiful”.
  • It was a reward for NOT participating in the swimsuit competition.
  • GILF is the new MILF

Regardless of how Nancy made it, I think we can all agree that the REAL travesty here is that Hillary got passed over for Miss Congeniality.

Perhaps a More Appropriate Name for Them Would Be an Angry Exclamation of “That’s Not Funny!”

Know who wanted to nuke the moon? Hitler!

Usually IMAO flies under the radar of left-wing blogs. They want stuff to be angry about, but who could be angry at fun-loving IMAO? We only want to nuke the moon — there aren’t even people there to hurt. Still, we’ve had our run ins with some of them such as when some guy named digby criticized us for our “hostile” humor and Amanda Marcotte and her commenters once spent about 500 pages in a horribly pedantic analysis of whether a post of mine was technically “satire.”
Now, Sadly, No! — a left-wing humor site — has latched on to our Fred Thompson Facts. By itself, it’s not that notable. It seems to be a lashing out at how the left-wing blogs’ favorite candidate Edwards is perceived as being “swishy,” and now they must be further frustrated on that count since Edwards took time out of the last debate to criticize Hillary Clinton’s outfit. The humor seems borne more out of being angry than being clever, but their audience seems to like it so I can’t really criticize.
Anyway, what was interesting to me was the monologue preceding the humor where this bit caught my eye:

Not that we don’t have a begrudging sort of respect for the I.M.A.O.s of the world. After all, it’s sort of mulishly courageous to tackle humor as they do, from the opposite end of what is actually funny. Very few humorists can find comedy in the violent victimization of the marginalized by the overclass, largely because there isn’t any. But points to I.M.A.O. for trying. And even if their output isn’t — how shall we put it? — ‘funny in the slightest,’ at the very least it makes for a nice sort of homage to the Golden Age of Beer Hall comedy. . .a kind of living monument to the jackbooted stylings of those brownshirted stand-ups who, once upon a time, quite literally ‘killed’ at venues across Europe.

Now, if this was meant in jest, it’s exceptionally clever. Basically they’re poking fun at their own side and how many have an overwrought hatred of any one with a different political viewpoint. It’s much more self-aware than you’d find anywhere on DailyKos. If it’s meant even partly serious, though, then it’s rather sad.
And that’s the problem with a humor site with politics like that of the popular left-wing blogs. If you handed me something written by Glenn Greenwald and said, “Here’s this hilarious parody of a left-winger I wrote!” I’d think it was some genius satire and admire the work you put in it (“Wow. You kept it up for like five pages.”). When I first read Amanda Marcotte, I thought she was joking as she preached a kind of feminism I had long thought was made up by the older conservatives to scare us. So, when a left-wing site is sometimes trying to be funny, how can you tell when it’s saying something in jest or when it’s saying something ridiculous with a hilarious though somewhat sad earnestness? When many on that side honestly believe the government is behind 9/11 and that President Bush is going to establish a dictatorship before leaving office, how can you tell when they’re joking about something?
If I were to guess, I’d say who wrote that at Sadly, No! meant it seriously. That’s because it’s extremely rare to see left-wingers use self-deprecating humor about their own politics. I could write a whole paper on the reasons why for that, but just think about: How often do right-wingers make jokes using the left-wing’s stereotypes of them? We here at IMAO do it about every other post; it’s fun to pretend to be a mindless warmonger who hates the poor. Now how often have you seen a left-winger make a jokes using the right-wings stereotypes of them. I can’t think of very many instances; they really hate those perceptions of them and don’t find anything about them funny.
So, if I’m wrong and that statement from Sadly, No! was completely in jest, it was all the more exceptional.
What do you think? Do you think they were joking, or do they really think our humor makes us like Nazis? If so, then which posts are the Nazi ones? Maybe it was the one where I drew Kos with exaggerated Jewish features.
UPDATE:
I got a response in the comments from what seems like a dour, humorless person. I’d thought I’d put it here with my response:

1: Power. The powerless use humor to try to deflate those with power over them.

That’s one use of humor, but it’s far from the only use. Most people who play the game of “[insert group here] can’t be funny” start by making up their own esoteric definition of what constitutes humor, trying to make complex a simple human impulse.

When the powerful make fun of those beneath them, that’s not funny, it’s cruel. It comes off like cheerleaders mocking the poor kids for wearing hand-me-downs. Brandi and Candi might laugh, but it’s not “humorous.”

Ridiculing is actually the basis of all humor (or so I argue). Still, calling all the humor of one side “bullying” shows a very narrow mind which probably isn’t open to actual discussion in the first place. It also shows absolutely no understanding of humor (which isn’t to say the person is incapable of humor; just incapable of understanding it outside partisan blinders).

It’s hard to make stuff funny when one side is dedicated to bringing Americans together to make things better for all of us and the opposing side is devoted to accentuating the divisions between different groups to increase their power.

Of course, this is just one person’s retarded viewpoint of the world which is shared only by a small fringe. Who gets to say what it funny and what isn’t is the audience to the humor. You can’t just say that it’s only humor if people with my own narrow political viewpoint thinks its funny; everyone can play that game and its completely pointless.

2: Fringe reality. The fraction of Kosites who believe that Bush was ACTUALLY behind 9/11 is roughly the same as the fraction of $Con_site who believe that Hillary is ACTUALLY a lesbian Mossad agent who had Vince Foster murdered b/c he wouldn’t keep quiet about Bill importing planeloads of cocaine into Arkansas. It’s a big country full of weirdos of all types and the internet just makes them a lot louder.

Of course, this is more a political than a humor argument. Those viewpoints make the recommended diaries (though 9/11 conspiracies are now verboten from Kos). Polls — as useful as they are — show those viewpoints are significant among Democrats and thus even more significant among the fringe that is Kos. I don’t think most fervently believe the conspiracies, and it’s mainly just how silly their partisanship has gotten that they even consider them.
Anyway, the person who wrote this comment obviously has a silly little viewpoint and takes himself way too seriously. From his own definition, that makes him the pompous one to deflate using humor. If this is the writer of the Sadly, No! post, then they really should change their name to the exclamation of “That’s not funny!”
UPDATE 2:
Phelps has an example of how the violent victimization of the marginalized by the overclass can be hilarious.
I laughed.

Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards was rejected for the lead role in The Wizard of Oz for “not being butch enough to play a convincing Dorothy”.

It’s a Trap!

The surge is working and we can create stability in Iraq — so says an editorial in the New York Times!

Here is the most important thing Americans need to understand: We are finally getting somewhere in Iraq, at least in military terms. As two analysts who have harshly criticized the Bush administration’s miserable handling of Iraq, we were surprised by the gains we saw and the potential to produce not necessarily “victory” but a sustainable stability that both we and the Iraqis could live with.

It’s from the Brookings Institution which I don’t know anything about — but they sound smart. As the drinker of puppy would say, “Read the whole thing.”
As I’ve long said, we have the greatest military that ever existed and it’s perfectly capable of winning conflicts if people back home don’t whine so much. Even though we’re not getting shot at or asked to make any sacrifice at all, people here in America just can’t help but whine. I guess we have whining, bitching, moaning culture. Even so, the military is still very good at shooting bad people. God bless them.

Silly Kos Kids, Politics Is for Adults

O’Reilly’s has been hammering DailyKos for being a hate site, something obvious to anyone who has scanned the front page. This light shined on the cockroaches caused JetBlue to pull sponsorship on YearlyKos, DailyKos’s once a year event where the writers of DailyKos emerge from their parents’ basements and sit in circles and defecate on each other while Democrats pretend to listen to their insane blather.

Kos emerges from his hole for a rare public appearance. (Picture burgled from Hot Air)

Now, you have to understand, liberals are used to being coddled by the media, and the vitamin D deficient denizens of DailyKos have particularly thin skin. As right-wingers, we’re used to being accused of every ill of mankind, but if one person suggests to a Kwazy Kos Kid that he’s not quite in the mainstream, he gets apoplectic. They think that the news media is right-leaning, and you have to be quite insane to reach that viewpoint. We’re talking “Psychologist Running Out of the Room Screaming, ‘Don’t Let Him Touch Me and Get His Crazy on Me!'” insane. So having a particular show on a news network turn against them is intolerable beyond their understanding. With the defection of JetBlue, they’re less inclined to take a hard look at themselves and more open to the idea of freaking out like a bunch of rats that just had their cage shaken.
So the Kwazy Kos Kids and the rest of the Candy Land-based community are now shaking their tiny fists in impotent rage against FOX News’s advertisers. Now having much combined spending power (it’s the Bush economy’s fault that their parents cut their allowances), they’re hoping they can annoy the advertisers to death by calling them over and over (and since one of FOX News’s biggest advertisers is HeadOn, I don’t think they’ll even consider being told the same thing over and over annoying).
Their efforts most likely won’t amount to anything, but I think it would be a great idea if FOX News struck back by profiling a Kwazy Kos Kid each day thus putting the site under further spotlight for the sake of humiliation. Start with those who post on the front page and move on to the most prolific commenters and diarists. They should all be quite interesting since I sincerely doubt that any regular participant on the DailyKos is mentally stable, because why would any sane person regularly read and comment on such drivel?

“BooshH4ter4000 is against war though he thinks that violence against Republicans is sometimes justified. He believes that terrorism is simply media hype and that President Bush is going to turn America into dictatorship and refuse to leave office in 2009. He also takes pride in how much smarter he and the rest of DailyKos are than the American public. Such a proclamation was met with great agreement in the comments, a few of which were grammatically correct.
“Posting on the front page of the Daily Kos, this is one of the more prominent DailyKos members that Hillary and Obama will try to seek the approval of at YearlyKos.”

Really, this would be a great service FOX News could do for America. People like everyone at DailyKos should be ridiculed away from any active participation in our government. We don’t tolerate overt racists participating in the two major parties, and thus we shouldn’t tolerate the Kwazy Kos Kids who are even nuttier haters. They certainly are free to have their silly little site, but participation in it should be a conscious decision to be pariahs. That’s just common sense. I’m not sure how big a difference the Kwazy Kos Kids’ involvement in politics makes if any and whether the Democrats patronizing them and pretending they don’t think they’re weird or insane has any effect on major policy, but we should at least follow principle and make sure no one outside of their weird circle even acts like they take those goobers seriously. Like all mentally unstable people, they need to be isolated for their own good… and perhaps have a large amount of voltage shot through their brains. It’s the compassionate thing to do.

Frank J. Around the Web

I’m guest posting at Right Wing News today, and I just put up a post analyzing a lame attempt at humor from the DNC and suggesting how they can improve it. Check it out.

Question

If a Democrat is elected president in 2008 and he or she decides to outlaw bacon as a gesture of goodwill to the terrorists who want to kill us, do you think the American public will take it lying down saying, “I guess I can give up bacon if it will prevent war,” or do you think there will be riots in the street? I only ask because, if this happens, I don’t want to be the only one rioting because then I’ll look crazy.
I’m very self-conscious. Especially when rioting.

Mitt Romney “Treasure Beyond the Horizon” Ad

A new ad from Mitt Romney in the same vein as his “Ocean” Ad:

Daily Fred Thompson Fact

To help Fred Thompson get to sleep, he has a white noise machine at his bedside. The settings on it are the ocean, a babbling brook, and the dying screams of his enemies.