America’s favorite vote-splitter has put a fresh coat of tinfoil on his hat and tossed it into the ring for 2008.
You’ll pardon my insidious Machiavellianism, but I’d really like to see the man do well this time around.
You know what I’m talkin’ about.
So let’s see if we can’t whip him up a killer campaign slogan:
- Skip the blacko, vote the wacko.
- Nader: because corporations selling you cool stuff is the REAL terrorism.
- Six more months of military experience than Bill Clinton.
- Kooky like Ron Paul, but without all that annoying liberty crap.
- Spoilernator III: Rise of the Lunatics
- Because I Can
- Looking 90, acting 12.
- Just a hooded sweatshirt and a stick of dynamite away from being the Unabomber.
- Nader: homonymically synonymous with “rock bottom”.
- FOR working families, AGAINST the corporations that sign their paychecks.
- He won’t start every sentence with “I served in Vietnam”.
- I’m John McCain, and I approved this candidacy.
- Nader: he’s never worked for a living either.
- Like Barack’s really going to miss .3% of the vote.
Come on folks, this is important. Help him out in the comments.
Vote Nader – I saved America from President Gore and President Kerry. You owe me!
Hungry for justice, not for power
Nader ’08: You know that safety belt I forced them to put into your car? Vote for me, or I’ll strangle you with it!
Nader ’08: Down with corporations! (this message approved by Ralph Nader, Inc.)
I will regulate the CRAP out of you!
Because nothing is more humiliating for a terrorist than to be bombed by a Green Party president.
I know what’s good for you.
Protecting dumbasses from natural selection for over 40 years.
“Nader” doesn’t sound as Islamy as “Hussein”.
I don’t change socks, but I will change my lightbulbs…or will I, mercury is scary.
I won’t worry about that, have to get rid of the automobile, so close back in 65. Damn freedom loving Americans wouldn’t stop driving, polluting, and being just wasteful.
Huh? Oh, you want a slogan that is snappy? I gave you one, just as snappy as a dresser I am.
Nader: Shriller than Clinton, less experienced than Obama.
Nader: Why settle for the lesser socialist evil.
Nader: What is not forbidden will become mandatory.
Nader: Feel the Power of the Dork Side.
Ralph Nader for President…and girls, he’s still single too!
You can’t say “President Ralph Nader” without a chuckle.
Because it’s about time someone came up with a funnier campaign slogan than “Dukakis for President”.
Because those Dukakis jokes are getting old.
Nader ’08: Because McCain is an NDE and Obama is an OBE.
Nader – fight the real enemy – you know, capitalism.
Nader – I’ll blow more than just the whistle.
Nader – I know what’s best for you.
Nader – Unsafe at Any Speed.
Nader in 08: Because Nader Sounds Kinda Like “Nada”
Slogan: Making McCain look youthful.
Theme song:
It’s not that easy being green
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold
Or something much more colorful like that
It’s not easy being green
It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
And people tend to pass you over ’cause you’re
Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
Or stars in the sky
But green’s the color of Spring
And green can be cool and friendly-like
And green can be big like an ocean, or important
Like a mountain, or tall like a tree
When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why
Wonder, I am green and it’ll do fine, it’s beautiful
And I think it’s what I want to be
Ralph Nadar the Paris Hilton of politics.
Nadar the energizer bunny of politics, but not nearly as cute or effective.
Ralph- millions of Americans just don’t care.
Maybe Nadar can be the architect of the new environmental crisis, Global Cooling. It would give him something to do besides kill industries and lose American jobs.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the political pond, du duh du, du duh, du, du …. Here’s Ralphie……………….
Put Ralph in the Whitehouse or he’ll ralph on you
Nader ’08, “Why does Fred Thompson keep punching me?”
Vote Nader in ’08
Ralph is such a stud on The Simpsons, he should be in the White House too!
I’m no Nader-Hater!
Vote Nader – he has Nads
Nader/Paul in ’08 – putting all the crazies in 1 basket case.
Seriously, I would like to see a Ralph Nader / Ron Paul ticket. That would be the absolute bestest election in history.
Go Nads for Nader
(slight improvement to #19 cptnmoroni)
Nattering Nabobs of Naderism
Nader 08: Hope Can’t Get You Seat Belts and Proper Tire Pressure
Go Nads for Nader? Best Slogan EVER! Excellent Jimmy! I bow at your ad masterdom! You should go to work for the Obasim campaign!
Nader – Maybe he won’t punch a hippie, but he could totally take one in a pillow fight…as long as the pillow has those tags on it.
Tired of making decisions? Elect Nader.
Yeah? Well, you’ll be happy to know we owned a Corvair when I was a kid. And I got it up to 80 once. The speedometer broke and the damn aluminum block almost exploded. Even so, my dad hated that guy.
Nerds for Nader
Nader for Nerds
Nader or Potadr’ (no it doesn’t make sense but what the fuc*, neither does his campaign)
Nader a Real Hadr’
Nader’s Raiders
Nader’s gayer than a Nader
Nader’s green mean queen and Dean
Nader apologizes for McCain
I’d like to take this opportunity to formally apologize for anything that this blog has ever said or will ever say against SENATOR Obama! Going forward we will only refer to Senator Obama as SENATOR Obama and we will never EVER say anything negative about SENATOR Obama!
Senator John McCain
OMG. Spew alert!
Nader’s Green Mean Queer Machine
his website could be http://www.GoNaddy.com
that’d be awesome!!
Ralph {not Hussein) Nader for Prez!
Vote Nader: Where have all the flowers gone? {look it up… it was the 60’s, you had to be there}
Nader… I’ve got your incandescents, now I’m coming for your fluorescents.
Nader….I’ll make your Whitehouse green!
Nader: Because it’s not all illegal yet.
Nader: Making Democrats look mainstream since 1968.
From realchange.org:
“Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.” — Dave Barry
Nader for President. No…SERIOUSLY!
I’m John McCain and I’m reporting for duty and I’m apologizing for anything on this blog that is derogatory about my friends on the other side of the isle! I believe we should have a civil debate and should avoid “name calling” and my campaign shall rise above the strident goals of IMAO!
Nader ’08: I hate conservatives less than McCain
Nader ’08: Less liberal than McCain
Nader ’08: At least I’m not a Senator
I don’t know you guys, it might be interesting to see someone take on all our problems, both domestic and international as consumer safety issues.
Nader ’08: 100% Biodegradable!!!
Nader ’08: No MSG!
Nader ’08: No…I’m NOT dead
Nader ’08: A desperate cry for help…
“I really don’t want to run but was talked into it by my wife…uhh…Morgaaaan Fairchild. Yeah. That’s the ticket!”
………..so funny!
Craig Ferguson should have you guys as writers.
TRIFFIDS FOR NADER!
Nader 08…. Cause at this point….any old schmuck will do.
Nader: The ’71 Pinto of Presidents
Hey Ussjimmycarter: Who’s going to apologize for the things we’ve said (and will say) about mccain?
He should obtain permission first of course, but how ’bout adopting Alice Coopers’ campaign slogan when he ran for Gov. of Arizona,
Ralph Nader “A troubled man, for troubled times”
My apologies to Alice!
Nader, because not even I can get to the left of this bunch.
Ralph Nader: the Ralph Nader of politicians.
Nader – because given the Democratic tickets for the last few decades, you clearly gave up on reality in the Carter Administration.
Nader – not a power-crazed lawyer bent on destroying defense and capitaliz…. aw sh*t.
Nader – because you were already stoned enough to vote for Obama.
Nader – an even more destructive way to say “screw the world” than that mall shooting/suicide you had planned for next week.
Ralph Nader: The Howard Stassen of our generation
Ralph Nader in ’08: Hey, Stop Laughing at Me; I’m Serious!
My comment (which should have been #49) was “submitted for review by the blog owner.”
Does anybody know what triggers this response?
Oops, there it is….
Frank has to read Haikus very s l o w l y, Rightjabs. He must have put you on pause.
Ralph Nader, Come on I’ll be your friend.
Ralph Nader, I’m just going to keep running till you elect me.
Nader – because every election needs comic relief.
Nader!
Now go Ralph!