When Joe Biden gives you free advice…
“talk about the economy, not about Barack Obama’s heritage”
“I say, John, stop your ads!”
“argue about the economy. Not about Barack Obama’s character.”
“These attacks don’t hurt Barack Obama, they hurt you”
… you can rest assured that the road to victory is paved with ignoring him.
Biden says Obama will be tested with a big international crisis soon after taking office, and here’s my guess as to what will happen. Obama will get his head stuck in a bucket, and, struggling to get it off, he’ll accidentally launch nuclear missiles. He’ll then appear at a press conference shouting, “I’m very smart, so stop laughing at me! Stop laughing at me! I’m very very smart!” He’ll then end up giving himself a headache from his voice echoing inside the bucket.
It’ll be fun times.
MSNBC has an article on whether we should get rid of the Electoral College, and I found this quote interesting:
Amar said a direct national election would create healthy incentives for states to compete with each other in getting more of their people to vote — for example by allowing voter registration on Election Day and by mandating that Election Day be a day off, with pay, for all workers.
He even suggested that states might pay people for voting, just as people are paid for jury duty.
And he’s saying that like its a good thing?
Liberals like to think they’re smart (actually, there is nothing in the world they like better than thinking they are smart), but they always seemed convinced that if they could just get more lazy, ignorant people out to the polls they would always win. That should tell you something.
Anyway, I’m against getting rid of the Electoral College because then a corrupt city like Chicago would be able to turn the whole election by stuffing ballots instead of a few electoral votes. It’s a big country, and it’s nice to be able to quarantine crap like that.
As part of the fallout from our economic troubles, illegal aliens are finding it harder to get a home loan. I’m sure giving big loans to people known for breaking federal law and could be deported was a really smart thing, though. It really makes you wonder how we got into this crisis with all these smart people giving out smart loans in such a smart fashion. Luckily, Barney Frank is planning to raise taxes to solve this problem of which he had no involvement.
Seriously, at some point we need to consider divesting from the U.S. government. They can’t just wield our money like a bunch of drunken monkeys. I say we just write out our tax checks straight to the military and screw the rest of it. There are parts of the federal government outside of defense I kinda like, but I can live without them. Safer we just defund everything and start over. Sure, some people may end up starving in the street, but certainly no productive people.
CULLOWHEE, N.C. (AP) — Police at Western Carolina University and wildlife officials were investigating the discovery early Monday of a dead bear cub draped with a pair of Barack Obama campaign signs. Both the Obama and McCain campaigns were quick to accuse each other of responsibility for the death.
 |
“This bear, who we like to call Joe, was obviously despondent over the prospect of an Obama presidency,” said McCain spokeswoman Nancy Pfotenhauer. “Obama said he wants to take people’s honey and spread it around. The campaign signs were obviously a suicide note naming the thing that drove Joe over the edge.”
Bill Burton, speaking for the Obama camp, accused McCain of distorting the Democrat candidate’s position. “Yes, Obama does want to spread honey around, but that’s a GOOD thing. I mean, does ANYONE eat honey straight from the jar? Of COURSE not! Most decent, hard-working Americans mix their honey with other tasty condiments such as barbeque sauce or mustard and then spread it on grilled chicken. Thinly. Just a nice glaze. Not all gooey and drippy and gaggy-sweet. Government is the chef who wants to help you be patriotic by spreading your honey around.”
At a rally in Miami, Florida, Obama questioned whether Joe the Bear actually had enough honey to be affected by his new tax policies. “My plan will only affect people who make more than 250 jars of honey a year. There’s no bear that I know of that makes that much. And ‘Joe’ isn’t even a bear. He’s actually a wolverine. Or maybe a just a chubby badger. He also owes honey to the government, his real name is Fozzy, and he’s related to notorious 60’s radical and picnic basket thief, Yogi Bear.”
During a campaign stop in Pennsylvania, McCain belittled Obama for criticizing the late bear. “Ignore Barack. He’s just cranky because Joe made him admit on film that he’s such an unrepentant socialist that the only country he should be running for President of is Cuba. In AMERICA, we celebrate when people make more honey.”
“Unless,” McCain added, “they get their greedy, Wall Street heads stuck in a honey jar, in which case we need to take some of your honey and spread it around to get them out again.”
I got my absentee ballot. Idaho seemed to be encouraging them this year as a way to save on gas. Anyway, I get to vote for a President, a Senator, a Congressman, and then various other offices I have no clue about. So, I thought I’d let you tell me who to vote for. If you’re from another country, here’s your chance to participate in that famous American democracy you’ve heard so much about.
Anywho, here’s the ballot. I vote in Legislative District 21 and apparently I don’t vote in any of the Ada County Highway Districts — whatever the hell that is.
First, there’s president. Unless McCain is going to be the Republican Mondale, he’s carrying this state so that vote is kinda pointless. One of the reasons I ended up in Idaho is its a reliably red state. Sill, Obama was the only presidential candidate to visit Idaho this year, and he got a huge turnout (not Palin size turnout, though).
After that, there is the race for the famous Larry Craig’s Senate seat. Jim Risch is the Republican candidate and Larry LaRocco is the Democrat. Even thought we’re just a silly potato-growing state, our Senators get just as many votes as Hillary or Obama, so this is important. Now, I usually vote for the Republican unless given a good reason not to (I usually have a bit of an incumbent bias, but we don’t have Democrat incumbents in Idaho). Also, with the way Congress will probably end up after this election, it’s important to keep as many Republican seats as possible, so I’m voting Republican unless someone can give me a good reasons not to. Interestingly, one candidate for Senate is called “Pro-Life” with a helpful explanation that that candidate used to be known as Marvin Richardson. I guess he changed his name to Pro-Life thinking maybe some people will look and say, “Hey! I can vote Pro-Life.” Independents are so crazy.
Next we have Representative for the First District of Idaho. The Republican is incumbent Bill Sali and the Democrat is Walt Minnick. I got a flyer for him in the mail, and Minnick really wants to prove he’s pro-gun so the flyer mentioned he owns seven guns. Is it just me, or does it seem kinda desperate to mention the exact number of guns you own? Now if someone put a gun to my head and asked me how many guns I own, I couldn’t say. And then I’d pull out a gun and shoot the guy for putting a gun to my head. That’s one gun, if you’re keeping count (probably two since I might as well take that guy’s gun since he doesn’t need it anymore).
Once we get below U.S. Congressmen, that’s where I have no idea what I’m voting for and could use your help. I have a state senator and two state representatives to vote for in District 21. At least, I have some idea what those jobs are — assuming a state legislative body is somewhat like the national one. Still, I wouldn’t know any of these candidates from Adam. The state senator is running unopposed, so should I vote for him or be mean and not vote for him? And I guess just vote Republican on the other two, though people could have put squirrels on the ballot for all I know.
Next is country commissioner. No idea what that job is. Someone look that up and tell me who to vote for. We have Republican Sharon M. Ullman and Democrat Paul Woods.
Oh, I have another county commissioner to vote for. Shouldn’t I let the second district people vote for the second district county commissioner, or am I missing something? Local politics is confusing.
Then I have a sheriff and a prosecuting attorney to vote for, both running unopposed. Someone look them up and tell me if they deserve my vote.
Next we have the non-partisan judicial ballot, where it lists nine judges and I get to vote whether they should be retained in office. How the hell would I know? Why are they asking me? Anyway, you readers will want to divide this up and each look up the different judges and tell me which ones we should keep.
Then I have five non-partisan votes for seats in the College of Western of Idaho. What the hell? Am I voting who gets to go to college or who gets to run the college? I don’t even have a clue what this is about. You’ll need to look that up.
Lastly, I get to vote whether I want to pay more for my car registration. I’m going to say no, but they try to phrase they yes and no votes to make you feel guilty about it. Don’t you want to help fund state transportation so there are safe routes to school? What do you all think?
Anyway, tell me who to vote for in the comments and include your research.
Wow, this makes things easy. I don’t know how people voted in local elections before they had absentee ballots and blog readers.
The Democrat vice presidential candidate, Sen. Joe Biden, finally released his medical records. But something was missing.
The brain scans.
In case you forgot … or never knew … Biden twice underwent surgery in 1988 to repair damage from aneurysms.
But the medical records, released recently, didn’t include any brain scans:
But the 49 pages of records the campaign released gave no indication that Biden’s doctors sought follow-up tests after the serious aneurysms he suffered in 1988. Medical experts are divided over the need for such precautionary brain scans, but many feel it is the only way to be sure a patient is out of danger.
“If this was my patient, I would re-image every three to five years to make sure no new aneurysm had cropped up,” said Dr. Mark Alberts, a professor of neurology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine.
Not to worry. Our crack team of investigators has uncovered the missing brain scans…
Continue reading ‘Biden’s brain scans found’ »
“From each according to his ability to each according to his need.”
The words of Karl Marx.
And the meaning of the words of Barack Obama:
“Spread the wealth around,” he said.
“Spread the wealth around?”
Take your wealth (“from each according to his ability”) and spread it around (“to each according to his need”).
Way to go, Obama. Karl Marx would be proud.
