Thanks, Nancy Pelosi.
Without her brilliance, I would be a simple conservative Neanderthal that thought that more people getting unemployment meant that more jobs were being lost.
Silly me. And you, if you thought the same way.
Turns out that, according to Pelosi, when more people are paid unemployment, that means more jobs are being created, not lost:
Now, don’t you feel silly?
This new awareness got me to thinking. If more people getting unemployment checks means that more jobs are being created, what else having I been wrong about?
I’ve compiled a partial list:
- Rain falling from the sky means we’re in a drought.
- People flying planes into our buildings means that we are evil.
- Water flows uphill.
- You can get out of debt by borrowing more money to spend.
- Record snowfall means it’s hotter.
- All your base are belong to us.
- You can secure the borders by leaving them wide open.
- You can lose weight by eating more and exercising less.
- Government money is really free money that doesn’t cost anyone anything.
- Resistance is futile.
- Cats are not evil.
I wonder what other lessons are there for me to still learn?
Complete control of every aspect of your life by Democrats is the only way to insure that none of your rights are violated.
Rights are to be delegated by Democrats to insure equal opportunity and unequal outcomes for designated groups.
You are never too rich to hire unskilled illegal alien labor to landscape your face.
I read this yesterday on Drudge. I was stunned. If someone hit me with a 2 x 4, I would not have been as stunned. Unfriggin believable.
Pelosi is living proof that the Peter Principle is valid.
These new 10oz rations of chocolate are way better then the old smaller 12oz rations of chocolate.
Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia.
I don’t know, im pretty sure cats are evil.
That girl gave me a BJ, but I did not have sex with that woman.
The second amendment says you should be removed from anything dangerous, including paper clips.
The democrat party will show it’s love and concern for the average american by delaying an extension of unemployment benefits for workers so they can mourn and commerate a klansman who defended dog fighting.
* Botox makes you look more natural.
*
SodomyGay marriage is a civil right.* Sean Penn knows what he’s talking about.
* Keith Oberman provides calm, thoughtful analysis.
* He did not have sex with that woman.
* Just because thousands of dollars are hidden in a freezer does not mean they came from a bribe.
* John Kerry is a man of the people.
* Barney Frank does not know what a marijuana plant looks like.
* Michelle Obama is the most beautiful First Lady we’ve ever had and a fashion maven!
* Edward Kennedy is not roasting in the eternal pit.
* Taxes are for the little people.
* Women prefer a man with a good sense of humor over looks or money.
and the number one lesson to learn…
* Barak Obama is a Constitutional Scholar.
I’m pretty much ready for the government to start paying my mortgage, bills, food costs, insurance et al. I won’t need a car because I won’t go anywhere. I won’t need new cloth for the same reason. I’ll stay home, do my thing, and let the government take care of the rest.
I’m tired of working so other people can pursue happiness, I think it’s time for everyone who’s been paying taxes to simply STOP. Let the other 90% pay for us for a change.
Oh and Nanny, good luck paying for those bene’s without “we the sheople”. I wonder who’ll she’ll get to fill up her private jet, maybe she’ll have to break out the ol’ broomstick. So sad, but in this time of trial we all have to make sacrifices.
Pelosi looked at blood shooting out of my eyes and said “Good! That means your heart is still pumping!”
The really sad part is, this woman actually believes what she is saying.
Lets hear it for the smart folks on the planet sanfransicko, that keep electing this clown that were educated in those wonderful public schools in that prosperous state.
At least they provide entertainment.
One pill doesn’t make you larger, and one pill doesn’t make you small, and the ones that mother gives you certainly do do anything at all.
The Founding Fathers describing the right to keep and bear arms as a critical right proves they didn’t care about it and were just kiddin’ around.
Pelosi is right! When more people are unemployed, you need a lot more people working at the employment office. Not to mention more people working in soup kitchens and homeless shelters. And let’s not forget big increases in employment for the repo and foreclosure industries. And the Post Office is gonna need more people to deliver all those foreclosure, eviction and collection notices! Ms Botox, er, I mean, Pelosi, this conservative Neanderthal Conservative boob thanks you for setting me straight!
Gosh, aren’t we fortunate to have such smart people like Nancy Pelosi ruling us? Thank God her constituents in San Francisco keep electing and re-electing her to Washington.
Nancy is exactly right. You see, if we can get everyone to be paid by the government, we will have 100% employment. It worked in the Soviet Union; why not here?
*NRA considers endorsing Harry Reid in Nevada.
Wait…that one is not sarcasm. It’s true. Sigh.
To fight racism, you need to seperate people into groups, and then treat each group differently according to race. This is the only way to insure everyone is treated equally.
Of course all of those extended unemployment payments stimulate the economy. Everybody knows the first thing you do when you get an unemployment check is buy a new car and a big screen TV
I am aghast, agape, agog.
* Having the job of Speaker of the House means that I know what I’m doing.
* Iran’s possession of nuclear arms means we can sleep more safely at night.
* Increasing debt to China gives us a stronger economy.
By the bye, has anyone else noticed how goofy her giant “www.screecher.gov” sign is? I HAVE A WEBSITE!!! She looks even punier than her normal puny self behind it, but she’s never without it.
Of all the socialist policies that the left loves, I can’t believe that extending unemployment is one of their lowest priorities. It’s the only thing keeping some people from going under… And yet they prefer their big ol’ health plans, ‘stimulus’, massive financial changes, bailouts of corporations, and massive borrowing. It doesn’t even cost them all that much to extend unemployment. They could even use unspent stimulus money to do it.
We shouldn’t even need unemployment. If the left hadn’t created Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac in the first place, we would likely not even be in this recession.
AH, you captured my favorite.
If only they could scrape the audio on this clip… all you would hear out of Pelosi’s yap trap would be, “ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!”
[Like this?
[Direct link]
– B]
I like how her “regecting” something makes it now a non issue with them. What a pile
*rejecting even
This video verifies that, indeed, if certain people were soon unemployed it would go a long way in helping lots of other people get back to work.
Frank & Bantha, you’re right about all our base are belonging to Pelosi. In fact, it says so on her giant stupid podium sign:
Pelosi’s podium sign: http://burmashave.net/images/pelosi_ayb.jpg
She’s got that look in her eye, too. We have no chance to survive. Make our time. Perhaps we should take off every zig. For great justice.
Now listen up kiddies. Let me give you a valuable lesson in political manuvering
taken straight from the Liberal (communist) playbook. When you are faced with a
serious situation (like un-employement) you need to turn it into a problem for your
enemies.
1st) propose some (faulty, corrupt, bad, un-funded, ect..) Legistlation that has
NO CHANCE of passing in its present form (like Hillarycare).
2nd) and then make it seem as if it is un-Christian, sub-human, or evil to be
against this wonderful Legislation designed to SAVE alll mankind, or baby seals,
or innocent bunny wabbits, or…. (think Cartman vs. Wendy and the Smurf
murders)
3rd) And don’t worry the Liberal News Mafia will be there for you. They have
your back! Just let the propaganda fly. To pass Legislation without demonizing
your enemies is foolish.
Remember: The Bigger the LIE the bigger the Headline!!
So LIE BIG! LIE often! And when all else fails, just LIE!!!
Notice in the first portion she says this is one of the biggest “STIMULUSES”…blah blah blah? I”m being a total grammar nazi, but I believe it should be STIMULI, YOU #**#*# IDIOT. Seriously though, can you imagine if say Bush or Palin had made that mistake? It would be fodder for months! Not that its any more nonsensical than the rest of the speech, just underscoring the that fact that she really, truly, is not very bright.
you must not live in california. no matter how much it rains here, all we ever hear is how “the drought is not over.”
Thanks Basil – I knew the truth was out there – it doesnt sound so robotic coming out of her mouth, weird