Archive of entries posted on July 2012

Truth Team Fights Romney with the Truth

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There are a lot of lies out there about President Obama, so Obama has formed a “Truth Team” to go out there and meet all the lies with truths. Here are some of the allegations against Obama and the truths that refute them.

ALLEGATION: Under Obama, there have been 41 months of unemployment over 8%.
TRUTH: Romney has some connections to companies that did outsourcing.

ALLEGATION: The only way unemployment is as low as 8.2% is by giving Obama credit for all the people who gave up looking for work. Otherwise it’s more like 11%.
TRUTH: We believe Romney worked at Bain longer than he said he did, though we can’t quite prove it.

ALLEGATION: Obama skyrocketed the debt with his “stimulus” and other plans but has little to show for it.
TRUTH: Romney is very rich and can buy things you can’t afford, so you shouldn’t like him.

ALLEGATION: Obama forced an unpopular health care bill on America that the Supreme Court ruled is a massive tax.
TRUTH: Romney allegedly gave some guy a haircut in high school.

ALLEGATION: Under Obama’s watch, the Department of Justice sold guns to Mexican drug cartels, and the guns were then used in hundreds of murders.
TRUTH: Romney won’t release all the tax returns we’ve asked for.

ALLEGATION: Obama lost half a billion dollars of your money investing in Solyndra.
TRUTH: Romney once tied a dog to his roof.

So go out there and fight the lies with the truth!

Random Thoughts: Generic VP

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McCain needed Palin to excite the base. After four years of Obama, Romney doesn’t need anything for that.

“And now for my running mate: Generic Republican! …I mean, Tim Pawlenty!”

Pawlenty would be a nice, non-descript choice. He’d be the Ann Veal of running mates.

Jindal seems like a good compromise between boring and exciting. He seems exciting (he’s a minority!) while he is actually very boring.

After four years of Obama, boring and competent should win the race.

I notice their are tiers to minorities. Democrats pander to blacks and Hispanics because they have voting blocks, but for Indians, who cares.

They like minorities, just not really small minorities where they wouldn’t get a lot of votes out of pandering.

Someone put a negative review of the new Dark Knight movie on Rotten Tomatoes. Stone him!

So is the Dark Knight Rises about Batman punching OWS hippies, because that would be awesome.

Did I punctuate that right? I don’t know what you do when the first half of a sentence is a question but the second half is a statement.

Sorry to hear the author of Encyclopedia Brown died, but his character was already replaced with “Access to Smartphone” Brown.

Obama: “When you get a 100% on a spelling test, I should get the gold star.”

Am I hearing this right that Rush Limbaugh said something negative about Obama?

Where would you be without all the bureaucrats you met along the way? Probably much more successful and less irritated.

Sorry to hear about Stephen Covey. I’m actually in the middle of reading The 8th Habit.

The term life insurance is going to be even cheaper than originally quoted. They’re betting big I’m not going to die in the next 20 years.

There’s a lot that can go wrong in life, but it’s good to know statisticians are pretty certain I’ll be okay.

The only attack on Romney that would definitely stick would be to prove he was running the country from 2009-2012.

I won’t know what to think of this Law-of-Sea Treaty until Chareth Cutestory reviews it.

Obama doesn’t hate this country. It definitely makes his top twenty.

Isn’t Obama to blame for letting Bush continue to run loose and ruin our economy?

No, Seriously: Here’s That Song From Kim Jong Un’s Girlfriend

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[High Praise! to Primordial Slack]

People thought I was kidding when I said Kim Jong Un’s girlfriend had a hit song in North Korea called “Excellent Horse-Like Lady.”

Here it is:


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #252,403)

For some reason, it reminds me of an ABBA song, but I can’t quite think of which one.

Anyway, it’s fairly catchy. All it needs is a cameo from Sarah Jessica Parker.

UPDATE: Click here for the lyrics, as well as a video of her other hit song, “She Is a Discharged Soldier”

Chuck Schumer Kinda Looks Like…

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[High Praise! to Carolyn the Mommy]

I don’t normally link the wretched hive of scum and villainy that is the Huffington Post, but they’ve got a “politician looks like Disney character” piece that’s actually pretty good, and more or less bipartisan.

But…

They really missed with #23, Chuck Schumer:


Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) & Commander Lyle Tyberius Rourke (Atlantis: The Lost Empire)

His muppet version was better, but still seemed off:

My suggestions:


Hannibal Lecter


Rizzo the Rat


Farscape’s Ka D’Argo


Professor Hubert Farnsworth’s pet demon Pazuzu


Jabba the Hut sidekick Salacious Crumb

Can’t shake the feeling that I’m missing something obvious, though.

Oh, and to knock the spectre of Chuckie’s puss out of your skull, here’s a side-by-side of Janice and Debbie Wasserman Schultz:

Wisdom of the Day: Good Nicolas Howell Unemployment

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From Alex Baze:

“Be yourself” is good advice for getting into relationships and out of them.

From Bryan Donaldson:

Because of his special dietary needs, Nicolas Cage’s contract rider specifies that all scenery must be gluten-free.

From pourmecoffee:

Romney should point out this happened with Thurston Howell, who was technically still in charge while he was on the island.

From John Hayward:

I guess unemployment will finally go down once we nail down the exact date and time Mitt Romney last told someone at Bain to do something.

12 Evil Things Bain Did Between 1999 and 2002

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Obama is trying to prove that Romney was secretly working at Bain from 1999 to 2002 — the evil years of Bain. What sort of evil did Bain do then? Things like:

* Outsourced jobs.

* Bought businesses and gutted them for profit.

* Supported companies that burned down rain forests.

* Had board room meetings where everyone smoked cigars, laughed, and tossed their money in the air.

* Had a profit making venture where people could pay a dollar to punch an orphan in the face.

* Had eight-martini lunches.

* Radiated squirrels and tried to get them to bite people to see if they could create a squirrel themed superhero.

* Dropped water balloons on the heads of homeless people hanging out below their office building.

* Hired Daniel Tosh to do comedy for a Kindergarten class.

* Polluted the river downstream from their pollutant factory which makes industrial-grade pollutants for polluting things.

* Is trying to perfect the t-Virus.

* Proved to children Santa isn’t made up by displaying his head on a pike.

All I get out of this though is that Romney once had an actual job and Obama never did.