I like New Year’s resolution because I firmly believe in that I should become more awesome every year until the day I die (which I predict will be from me literally exploding with awesomeness). So here are my resolutions for this year:
* I will get more vengeance against my enemies.
* I will capture Bigfoot (even though I suspect him to just be a large, hairy Canadian).
* I will have more pens around the house so I don’t have to go looking for a working pen. I mean I know I don’t use pens much anymore since mainly I take notes on my iPad, but still, every once in a while it would be nice to be sure pens are nearby.
* I will take more enjoyment out of the simple things in life, like headbutting.
* I will take all the elements that make food taste better (cheese, gravy, bacon, ranch dressing, butter, being fried) and make one super food using them all.
* Less talking, more roundhouse kicking to the face.
Well, that seems like some good ones. What are some other resolutions that will help one become more awesome?
*Try Hillary’s 12 Step Program: If I fall down 12 times on the way to the bathroom I will slow down on my drinking for the rest of the day.
Other things to make sure there are lots of scattered throughout the house:
screwdrivers
scissors
flashlights
bacon
Punch more hippies.
All Canadians are a hybrid of Big Feet or “Samsquench” and French explorers.
Give in to Buttercup on everything. But you probably already do that.
Eat more tuna.
and chocolate. And beer-don’t forget to add chocolate and beer to your awesome food invention.
I am going to eat 2013 pieces of bacon.
http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s150/ruffages/2013bacon.jpg
I don’t think you’ll have much luck capturing Bigfoot. She’ll have her own Secret Service detail for another four years.
I will be less awesome. Ha! Another resolution broken.
“cheese, gravy, bacon, ranch dressing, butter, being fried”
And POTATOES!
Frank, don’t make me come over there and make you lick ’em.
Improve the economy.
Require those on Unemployment for longer than seventy-eight weeks to work thirty hours a week in a public sewer. I bet that would slow things down.
Spend less, give more, pray often.
Jimmy,
I was thinking of using potatoes (or potato skins) as the base of this food.