Lil Kim is not the dictator of North Korea. I stand corrected.

— Michael Z Williamson (@mzmadmike) March 5, 2013

They all laughed at me when I had to start selling knives door to door. But then I showed up at their doors with knives.

— Eli Terry (@EliTerry) March 5, 2013

Hey, the eighties called, they were really excited about inventing a phone that could call the future.

— anti joke apple (@antijokeapple) March 5, 2013

OK, CPAC isn’t for everyone. But the ridicule is over the top. Satire is fine, but this new “Trump is speaking” meme is just mudslinging.

— Popehat (@Popehat) March 5, 2013

“I am not a dictator,” said the guy who insisted he can kill his countrymen at home without due process.

— Razor (@hale_razor) March 5, 2013

Forbes names world’s richest man, Carlos Slim. Also names him “World’s Best Name For a Quentin Tarantino Villain.”

— Rob Kutner (@ApocalypseHow) March 5, 2013

Sequester Update Day 4: Hugo Chavez succumbs to the 2% budget cut.

— Larry Correia (@monsterhunter45) March 5, 2013

Politifact rates Chavez mostly dead.

— Andrew Kaczynski (@BuzzFeedAndrew) March 5, 2013