And to add to the growing list of Obama administration scandals.

• Upper level White House personnel are reporting that President Obama passed away three years ago in a bizarre golf cart jousting accident, and to save the country from a President Biden, the administration has been keeping up appearances using a combination of look-a-likes and a Weekend at Bernie’s style ruse. Unable to distinguish one clean, articulate black man from another, Biden remains clueless of the situation and hasn’t yet attempted to seize control of the government.
• Anonymous White House staffers are reporting a cellphone conversation overheard between Harry Reid and President Obama.  The President is reported to have said, “You better come through for me, Harry. Remember, I find Mormon souls particularly tasty.”

And to add to the growing list of Obama administration scandals.

• Joe Biden’s condition was upgraded to stable this morning after being gravely injured at a Tea Party rally where he got confused and accidentally attempted to burn himself in effigy.
• Anonymous though imminently reliable sources have revealed that the real Michael Jackson is being held captive in the White House cellar where he is forced to wrestle with Elvis in a vat of ebony and ivory pudding for the amusement of visiting foreign dignitaries.

And to add to the growing list of Obama administration scandals:

• In an act of rebellion, Sasha and Malia both got matching George Bush tramp stamps. Keeping their word, Barack and Michelle followed suit only to discover that the girls tattoos were temporary.
• Obama has been sleeping on the couch since Michelle checked the internet history on the Oval Office computer and found repeated visits to the Chippendales’ Reality Show Sites, So You Think You Can Strip and I Wanna be Like Magic Mike.